Selfish, Shallow and Self-Absorbed

"Anthologies aren't famous for changing attitudes en masse, but at the very least this one gives voice to the complexities of assuming and enjoying a 'child-free' life....The sixteen essays are cleverly arranged, creating a satisfying intellectual and emotional arc....The reader is treated to nearly every reason one might choose to forgo having children." --Kate Bolick, The New York Times Book Review "[A] searing collection...The child-burdened should come away from this engaging collection with a rich sense of what they have missed." --Katie Roiphe, The Washington Post "A round of applause to Meghan Daum for putting this book together....Entertaining and heartfelt." --The Boston Globe "Provocative." --Elissa Schappell, Vanity Fair "The 16 essays--variously funny, devastating, infuriating, insightful, and, yes, occasionally smug--not only dismantle the assumption of selfishness, they shed light on a stigma that's remained stubbornly pervasive...Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed is generally very strong, bringing together a diverse range of voices and styles to riff entertainingly on a subject that has seemed, up until now, unriffable. But as a collection of manifestos, it's hugely significant." --The Atlantic "Some [essays] are moving, some are clear-eyed and straightforward, and some are straight-up funny." --The Guardian (London) "I highly recommend the book. Each essay is unique and thought-provoking." --Bitch.com "Refreshing for this reader, who's a parent but who also has no trouble identifying with non-parents; though we might come to different decisions (to become parents or not), we still worry and ponder and project in similar ways...The anthology's variation in tone proves that, like those with children, the childless aren't some monolithic group with identical motives....It's this kind of open-minded honesty that will move the topic away from its limiting us versus them binaries." --Edan Lepucki, The Millions "Shallow conversation-changers are nowhere to be found in this searing collection." --The Huffington Post "Oftentimes hilarious and heartbreaking, and riddled throughout with truth." --Minda Honey, Los Angeles Review of Books "The most recent and high-profile addition to the developing canon of writing by childfree women on their lives--and recommended reading for anyone who wants fascinating, thrilling, and occasionally frustrating insight into the lives of the childfree." --Bustle "Potent and sorely needed antidote to this toxic myth comes in Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids, edited by the brilliant Meghan Daum-a writer of rare aptitude for articulating the unspeakable. The contributions-sometimes witty, sometimes wistful, always wise-come from such celebrated authors as Geoff Dyer, Anna Holmes, and Sigrid Nunez...Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed is a nuanced and necessary read in its totality." --Maria Popova, Brain Pickings "Maybe I really am selfish, shallow and self-absorbed. But at least I'm not alone, and this collection was a fantastic reminder." --BlogHer "[An] absorbing collection....some entries are heart-wrenching...while others are downright hilarious." --Publishers Weekly "A taboo will linger until someone writes lyrically enough to destroy it. Here, sixteen writers finally say what women are never supposed to but what we all know is true: pregnancy seems terrifying, birth even more so, baby lust passes, and, just as with men, work, creativity, and love affairs can crowd out everything else. Also, who really cares about getting a Mother's Day card? My three children are of course perfect in every way and yet, the longer I am a mother, the more it's obvious to me that it's not for everyone. Any woman who shares that instinct: Ignore your grandmother. Read this instead." --Hanna R

Meghan Daum is the author of four books, most recently The Unspeakable... And Other Subjects of Discussion, published in 2014 by FSG. Her other books include the essay collection My Misspent Youth, the novel The Quality of Life Report, and Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House, a memoir. An opinion columnist for The Los Angeles Times for nearly a decade, Meghan has written for The New Yorker, Harper's, Elle, and Vogue, among other publications. She lives in Los Angeles.