OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought
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Köp båda 2 för 535 kr'Often as chilling as Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, but also full of so much inner and external turbulence that it reminded me at times of The Bourne Identity and Memento. Readers will root for Lily, even when she is attempting to run away from the realities - and sometimes authorities - chasing her ... an intense heart-rending roller coaster of a book ... Because We Are Bad is the most engaging and well-written account of mental health experiences I have read and should be on the reading lists of courses for mental health professionals.' WILL BLACK, HUFFINGTON POST 'It's a fascinating read... Buy the book! Buy the book!' JO GOOD, BBC RADIO LONDON 'Remarkable... She writes with literary poise and a gift for mordant observation and self-deprecating humor that belie her youth. I hope this book finds a wide readership. It will offer solace to OCD sufferers who will understand that they are not alone and who might gain hope of remission; for other readers, it will provide a harrowing sense of what many OCD sufferers have to endure just to get through the day.' SCOTT STOSSEL, WASHINGTON POST 'A harrowingly honest memoir of profound psychological struggle. In her courageous book, the author offers compelling insight into the pain and destructive power of OCD as well as the resilience of a young woman determined to beat the odds.' KIRKUS REVIEWS 'London-based model and journalist Bailey offers an authentic and stunning account of her struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder in this beautifully-rendered memoir.' PUBLISHERS WEEKLY 'Because We Are Bad is an emotional, challenging read. Lily takes us deep into the heart of the illness but she is also a deft writer, and even the darkest moments are peppered with wit and wry observations.' JAMES LLOYD, OCD-UK 'A fascinating read. It's brilliantly written; I felt inside your head.' RAY D'ARCY SHOW, RTE RADIO 1 'I laughed, I cried. I could not put this book down. Intensely moving with flashes of black humour, Because We Are Bad is the compelling account of one young woman's experience of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.' ROSANNA GREENSTREET, FREELANCE JOURNALIST
Lily Bailey is a model, writer, and mental health campaigner. As a child and teenager, Lily suffered from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She kept her illness private, until the widespread misunderstanding of the disorder spurred her into action. She began campaigning for better awareness and understanding of OCD, and has tried to stop companies making products that trivialise the illness. Her first book, BECAUSE WE ARE BAD (Canbury Press, 2016) chronicles her personal experience of OCD as a child and a young woman. Her second book, WHEN I SEE BLUE (Orion, 2022), is aimed at children and follows a 12-year-old boy who has OCD.
TABLE OF CONTENTS 1. CHESBURY HOSPITAL. Lily Bailey is in Chesbury Hospital, a private facility in London for patients with mental and physical illnesses. Lily is 19. 'The observation room is next to the nurses station; they keep you there until you are no longer a risk to yourself.' 2. MY FRIEND. Lily is in the playground, but her imaginary friend is not the others. She lives in her head all the time. 'Two of us sat side by side in my head, woven together, inseparable. She didnt even have a name; she was just She. Really, it was hard to say where She ended and I began.' 3. THE LETTER. Lily gets a letter from school, which must contain terrible news. Lily hides the letter from her grandmother because this terrible news must not reach her father and mother. Lily is bad. Very bad. Her cousin has died: Lily killed him with a thought. 4. NEW SCHOOL. It is Lily's first day at Buxton House. The other children laugh at Lily. She repeats the words: 'Fresh start. Fresh start. Fresh start.' Lily creeps into her sister's room because Ella could stop breathing at any moment. It is important to check that Ella is alive. 5. MUM AND DAD. Lily is told to be concerned with hygiene when visiting the swimming pool. Lily resolves to take this very seriously. Her routines intensify. Intrusive thoughts pop into her head. Mum and Dad's arguing worsens. 6. SWEARING IN CHURCH. 'Church is not the place for these words, but we cant make them go away. Fucking boring ass church. Crap, fuck, shit, wanker, cunt.' Lily is one of the best at maths, but when Lily makes a mistake her friend in her head says: 'Stupid. Stupid. Stupid'. 7. MOST APOLOGETIC GIRL. At the Buxton House Leavers Awards, Lily receives an unusual award. Im sorry I was laughing when you walked past me in the corridor yesterday. I want you to know it was about something Mia said. I wasnt laughing at you. 8. HAMBLEDON. When she moves to boarding school, Lily's routines intensify. 'Recording our mistakes has become our full-time occupation. Most words are generated when interacting with other people, like at mealtimes or when everyone is hanging out in the dorm.' She lists her errors for 4 hours a day. 9. RUNNING FROM WORDS. Lily takes up athletics to flee from the lists that form in her heads. If she can run fast enough, the exertion - the sheer breathlessness - will silence her mind. 10. STUMBLING. Unable to keep up with her routines and overwhelmed with her lists, Lily's world finally collapses. She rushed to the bathroom. 'We curl up in a ball and rock back and forward. Normally the cold tiles make us feel better, but today they don't' 11. SPECIAL NEEDS DEPARTMENT. Lily has to take GCSEs and is awarded 'extra time' because she is a 'slow processor'. Her friend in her head takes issue with the extra time Lily has been given. She scolds her: 'Lying scummy cheat. Lying scummy cheat. Lying scummy cheat.' 12. COMING HOME. Lily feigns an illness so that she is discharged from school. Her mother picks her up and takes her to a homeopathic doctor who prescribes some pills. Her mother also takes Lily to a GP, who finds her iron is low. She is referred to a specialist 13. DOCTOR, DOCTOR. At a psychiatric hospital, Lily meets Dr Finch for the first time. Her friend insists there is no need to see this doctor. Has she ever let her down? Dr Finch says Lily has OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Her friend is unhappy. 'OCD is a mental disorder. What we do is good' 14. PILLS, PILLS, PILLS. Having an invisible friend is unusual in OCD, Dr Finch explains. She says that Lily is not a bad person, but is worried about being a bad person. Lily must do CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. She tells Lily to rest from her routines. Lily's friend is unhappy and mocks her. 15