Dan Patterson – författare

Scenes We’d Like to See is the very first Mock the Week book, published to coincide with the sixth series of the hit BBC2 comedy show. From gloriously rude ‘Unfortunate names for race horses’ to ‘Unlikely personal ads’ and lines that (sadly) never appeared in the Harry Potter books, Mock the Week: Scenes We’d Like to See is the fastest, funniest read of the year: a bumper book of all-new razor-sharp one-liners, including:UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: No rabbits were harmed during the testing of this product – but the rats were less lucky.GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN’T SELL: Happy New Breasts!UNLIKELY HOROSCOPES: You will go to your bedroom window and stand there naked for a minute, you will do this especially if your name is Mrs Hughes and you live at 56, The Avenue, Clapham…around 3.30 would be best for me.UNLIKELY LINES FROM A NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK: 'I’ve turned my cock into a frog!' squealed Ron in terror.

Scenes We’d Like to See is the very first Mock the Week book, published to coincide with the sixth series of the hit BBC2 comedy show. From gloriously rude ‘Unfortunate names for race horses’ to ‘Unlikely personal ads’ and lines that (sadly) never appeared in the Harry Potter books, Mock the Week: Scenes We’d Like to See is the fastest, funniest read of the year: a bumper book of all-new razor-sharp one-liners, including:UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: No rabbits were harmed during the testing of this product – but the rats were less lucky.GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN’T SELL: Happy New Breasts!UNLIKELY HOROSCOPES: You will go to your bedroom window and stand there naked for a minute, you will do this especially if your name is Mrs Hughes and you live at 56, The Avenue, Clapham…around 3.30 would be best for me.UNLIKELY LINES FROM A NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK: 'I’ve turned my cock into a frog!' squealed Ron in terror.

Modern life is a minefield. Fortunately, the creators of Mock the Week are here to give you advice on the important things in life: from office etiquette to camping holidays, the worst things to hear while sitting on the toilet -- and what not to say when passing through Customs . . . Categories include:Unlikely Things to Hear at a Funeral: 'Could whoever that is stop knocking, I'm trying to do the Eulogy!'Unlikely Things to Say on Your First Day in Prison: 'How thoughtful! Someone's left a bucket of chocolate mousse in the corner of my cell.'Guide to Keeping Tropical Fish: For a special treat, pour a smoothie slowly into the fish tank. They love that.Mountaineering Tips: Try to make sure you are accompanied by an experienced mountaineer or, failing that, someone really fat who will make for a soft landing.Medical Self-Diagnosis: If it comes out faster than gravity would normally allow, then there's something wrong.

Distributed for the University of Cincinnati PressIn Surveying in Early America: The Point of Beginning, An Illustrated History, award-winning photographer Dan Patterson and American historian Clinton Terry vividly examine the profession of surveying in the eighteenth century. Retracing the steps Washington and other surveyors took to map the Ohio River Valley, readers are immersed in historically accurate details of early surveying techniques and practices. Terry's narrative describes the practice of land and survey measurement-methods that did not substantially change until the invention of GPS technology 200 years later. Over 100 full color photographs exclusively shot for the book depict authentic and historically accurate reproductions of tools along with early American reenactors to provide an interpretive look at surveying as a primary means to building the American nation. Working with the Department of the Geographer, Patterson restages actual expeditions, brilliantly displaying the techniques and instruments Washington would have employed 260 years ago. Through the lens of Patterson's camera and Terry's accompanying narrative, readers see what Washington saw as he learned his trade, explored the vast American wilderness, and occasionally laid personal claim to great expanses of land along the way.