Judith Holder – författare

From that first date - and how it''s all downhill from thereWe all know about the jungle of ''dating''. But once you''ve found your ''special'' friend you''ll have to pretend you like their taste in music, be nice to their mother and pick up their socks, and that''s only year one.By the time you get into grumpy old middle-aged land, you''re firmly on farting terms and over-familiarity has bedded in. The only thing to do with the whole business is to laugh over it, which is the idea of this book.

There is no one quite like your mother - but along with the unconditional love and understanding, this also means that there is no one else who always knows when you''re fibbing, or where you keep your diary, or the terribly amusing thing you once said at a family wedding when you were five.In an affectionate, amusing and mischievous book, Judith Holder''s tribute to motherhood covers everything from mothers through the ages (it''s not only the Virgin Mary who we wish had had an immaculate conception) to maternal anxiety and those little things she says and why she says them: ''You''re not going out like that'', ''What are you doing inside on a lovely day like today?'', and the classic ''because I said so.''Using interviews and testimonies from mothers and daughters of all ages, this is a humorous look at motherhood and everything that goes with it, with beautifully illustrated and funny line drawings integrated into the text.

Welcome on board - holidays the Grumpy way!As every Grumpy Old Man and Woman knows, holidays are another way of keeping you all house-trained. They are civilised society''s reminder to you that the tedium of everyday life is actually preferable to a fortnight spent in the company of nagging partners, other people''s brats, bombastic in-laws; and - worse still - people who can''t speak English. As soon as you check in at the airport you are marooned in a sea of screaming babies, dull-faced reps and bland airport food. Count yourself lucky if your optimistic expectation of a good holiday is even remotely fulfilled. Don''t be fooled by the glamorous air-brushed photos of American models with tippexed teeth sitting by laguna pools, cocktail in hand. There may be beautiful sunsets by the beach in the brochure, but you''ll inevitably find that a) you should have booked the neighbouring hotel (and if you''re lucky she''ll tell you so, ''ad nauseam'') b) you picked the rainy/religious holiday/mosquito/plague infestation season - and wonder why it was so cheap and c) you''ll have had too much sex or food by the third or fourth day and be bored of each other, but there''s no-one else to talk to, apart from monosyllabic waiting staff and the ubiquitous Russians. A holiday is supposed to be a lovely break, isn''t it? This book proves that it is the stay-at-homes who have all the fun.