Trust Me

THE AUTHORNICK MORGAN, founder of Public Words Inc., is one of America’s top communication and speech coaches. He is a former Fellow at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, affiliated with the Center for Public Leadership, and served as editor of the Harvard Management Communication Letter. He is the author of the acclaimed book Working the Room, reprinted in paperback as Give Your Speech, Change the World.

"Nick Morgan’s Trust Me approaches corporate and executive communication from a new and different perspective, that of the professional performer. His approach acknowledges the realities of modern business and, once you get beyond the first few uncomfortable steps where you’re thinking of a thousand things at once, you will communicate more openly, authentically, and charismatically." —Technology & Society (www.techsoc.com/trustme.htm )

• Introduction 1Every communication is both a verbal and a nonverbal conversationWe are all unconscious experts in each other’s body language1 Leaders Need Both Charisma and Authenticity 7You need charisma and authenticity to lead effectivelyGesture can convey meaning independent of wordsOur most important dialogues with others take place nonverbally2 Aligning the Two Conversations Will Make You a Powerful Communicator 21Communications that align both the content and the nonverbal conversations can be powerfulWe unconsciously ascribe intent to the gestures we seeThe paradox of leadership today is that you have to practice to look spontaneous3 Being Open, Part One: How to Master the Verbal Conversation 35The verbal aspect of openness involves clarity of intentThe content of an open communication begins with clear framingTo conclude an open communication, reach agreement about what has been said4 Being Open, Part Two: How to Master the Nonverbal Conversation 43Trust is the essential goal of an open, nonverbal conversationWhen you communicate, you create a persona that other people unconsciously decodeIf you work on the conscious control of intention, your gestures take care of themselves5 Being Connected, Part One: How to Master the Verbal Connection 59Connected communication deals with the audience’s concernsConnected communication is direct and simpleConnected communication is reciprocal6 Being Connected, Part Two: How to Master the Nonverbal Connection 71Connection is first and foremost about closenessEverything significant between people happens in personal space or intimate spaceYou can signal your intent with your posture7 How to Be Passionate with Content 79Label the emotionTell an uncomfortable truthVerbal restraint can be a more powerful indicator of depth of feeling than excess8 How to Be Passionate Nonverbally 93The first place people look to find passion is in the voiceA good voice needs resonance and presenceFocus on your emotional attitude toward your meeting, topic, or event9 Listening, Part One: How to Listen Verbally — and Charismatically 101At its most basic, good listening offers feedbackThe most powerful kind of listening is empathic and analyticalIdentify the emotion and state its underlying causes without trying to solve the problem10 Listening, Part Two: How to Listen Nonverbally — and Charismatically 111Listen with your whole bodyListening is at the heart of real charismaYou must learn to read others’ emotions consciously11 How to Read Others 121Openness is expressed through the face and torsoYour unconscious evaluation will be more accurate than your conscious one (at fi rst)Look for overall body orientation to determine the state of your alliances12 Principles of Persuasive Content 143Phrase your arguments so that your listeners can hear themPersuasive rhetoric has a clear goal in mind and is usually transparent about itAuthenticity and charisma in content require self-revelation in a confessional age13 Principles of Persuasive Nonverbal Communication 161If the two conversations are aligned, you can be an effective communicatorDecision making is largely an emotional, and therefore a nonverbal, processAuthenticity and charisma derive from becoming open, connected, passionate, and listening with and to your audience14 Conclusion: Leadership Is Communication 173Control your body language by controlling your intentWatch for unconscious betrayals through your body languageRepetition is the key to the unconsciousNotes 189Acknowledgments 197The Author 199Index 201