Leading Relationships

STEVE MCCLATCHY is the founder of Alleer Keynotes and Workshops. He’s also a keynote speaker, workshop leader, author, and entrepreneur with extensive experience coaching, mentoring, and training leaders at small and large organizations to help their followers achieve higher levels of professional success.

• Introduction xi Part 1 Why You Should Lead Your Relationships 1 Chapter 1 The Role of Relationships in Business 5 My Clients Have Already Answered These Questions for Me 8 This Is Why Companies Should Care About Relationships 10 First, Make Sure You Have the Capacity to Build Relationships 11 Good Relationships Are Crucial to Business Success 13 The High Cost of Low Trust 17 The Health of Our Relationships Has Real Physiological Effects 18 Good Relationships Are Vital to an Organization Accomplishing Their Work 19 Chapter 2 What Builds Great Relationships? 21 What Actions Establish, Increase, and Destroy Trust? 24 What Is It Like to Work in a Low-Trust Environment? 28 Chapter 3 What Gets in the Way of Building Great Relationships? 33 The Ego Is Your Best Survival Tool and Your Biggest Obstacle 35 Relationships Have to Meet the Needs of Both Parties 42 Games and Competition 45 Part 2 How You Should Lead Your Relationships: The Five Levels of Maturity 49 Chapter 4 Level One: Recognizing and Acknowledging People 55 Let the Games Begin! 58 What If Everything Isn’t Fine Between Us? 63 You Don’t Automatically Start at Level One, You Have to Reach It 65 Are You Saying 68 Chapter 5 Level Two: Exchanging Facts and Honoring Agreements 73 Exchanging Facts 75 Honoring Agreements 81 Addressing Broken Agreements Without Damaging the Relationship 84 The Broken Agreement Script: The Four-Part Response for Addressing a Broken Agreement 92 Broken Agreement Examples 98 Conditions for Addressing a Broken Agreement 99 A Dead Moose: A Problem You Can’t Ignore 100 Serial Broken Agreements 105 Playground Rules Don’t Apply Here 107 Chapter 6 Level Three: Navigating Differing Opinions 109 Differing Opinions on Business Strategy: Build a Business Case 114 When Business Case and Mission Clash 119 Chapter 7 Level Four: Playing to Strengths and Working Around Weaknesses 123 Admitting Mistakes and Apologizing When Necessary 126 The Negativity Bias 131 Concentrate on Strengths, Work Around Weaknesses 134 Giving Positive and Corrective Feedback 143 Common Feedback Pitfalls 145 Conditions for Delivering Corrective Feedback 152 The Corrective Feedback Script 157 Receiving Feedback Graciously 167 Chapter 8 Level Five: Understanding Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivators 173 Whys and Wants 176 Level Five Comes with High Stakes 181 When Level Five Is Nonnegotiable 182 Part 3 Use the Five Levels of Maturity as a Leadership Handbook 187 Chapter 9 Managing the Maturity Level of Others 189 What Are Your Relationship Biases? 192 Can You Coach Someone to a Higher Level of Maturity? 194 What to Do If Someone Fails 195 Knowing Which Relationships You Can Take to a Higher Level 198 Chapter 10 What Can Level Five Do for You? 201 Brand Yourself as a Level Five Leader 203 Why Do You Feel Threatened? 206 A Leader Doesn’t Try to Win in a Relationship 208 The Best Criteria for Promotions 209 Succession Planning 215 Level Five Leadership Embraces Change 216 Incorporate These Concepts into All Your Relationships 219 Appendix A: The Concentric Circles of Leadership Model 221 Appendix B: The Dos and Don’ts of the Five Levels of Maturity 225 Notes 227 Acknowledgments 229 About the Author 231 Index 233