“Rothman’s book is a welcome addition to our literature—at once a moving memoir of the making of an analyst and a teachable text that can open deeper understanding of the work of psychoanalysis. Rothman uniquely brings together a range of streams of foundational and contemporary psychoanalytic thought, showing how they have fed each other over time in the formation of an analyst with her own penetrating approach to the work, and a natural affinity to go into the deepest spaces with her patients. Her book is a valuable tool, synthesizing theory and thinking to move us all forward in our work.”Ofra Eshel, author of The Emergence of Analytic Oneness: Into the Heart of Psychoanalysis, and Reinventing Psychoanalysis for the Great Unknown: The Never-Ending Challenge.“This is a unique work, bringing to life the way personal history, theory, and clinical technique intersect to create an inimitable psychoanalyst dedicated to the transformative nature of psychoanalysis. It is also a foundational work in comparative psychoanalytic theory. As a teacher for over 50 years, I have been looking for this kind of book, a memoir that is at once personal and theoretical, speculative and practical. Beyond that, it is a book presenting and eliciting thought and feeling, memory and desire, hope and despair, all in the service of transformation.”William J. Hurst, PhD, Psychoanalyst, Editor Emeritus, Modern Psychoanalysis“As the president of a psychoanalytic institute, I am eager to add this book to the syllabus for courses on comparative psychoanalysis, primitive mental states, clinical case discussion, and beyond. But it is much more than a teaching text; it is a moving memoir that speaks to clinicians on an emotional and intellectual level that is rarely seen in writing. It is personal and generous, encouraging us to think more deeply and consciously about how we work.”Mimi Crowell, PhD, President, Center for Modern Psychoanalytic Studies“This blending of personal and professional is completely unique in the field of psychoanalysis. I’m aware of no other book that looks at one clinician’s development over the course of her career, integrating her childhood, personal analysis, work with teachers and supervisors, in-depth engagement over decades with the work of prominent psychoanalysts like Ogden, McDougall, Eshel, Green, Civitarese, and Bergstein, all supplemented by six extensive case reports. This is a very personal, highly creative, one-of-a-kind book that will appeal to every psychodynamic clinician.”Dan Gilhooley, PsyaD, psychoanalyst, Center for Modern Psychoanalytic Studies, Boston Graduate School of Psychoanalysis; Author (with Frank Toich) of Psychoanalysis, intersubjective writing, and a postmaterialist model of mind: I woke up dead (Routledge)"This is a deeply moving book in which memoir and psychoanalytic reflection become inseparable. Through a series of personal and clinical encounters, the author traces her lifelong journey of becoming both a person and a psychoanalyst, revealing how each continually shapes and transforms the other. Written with remarkable honesty, warmth and clinical sensitivity, the book offers profound theoretical and technical insights while never losing sight of the emotional realities from which they emerge. It is both an intimate life story and a testament to psychoanalysis as a creative, living process."Avner Bergstein, Israel Psychoanalytic Society, author of Bion and Meltzer's Expeditions into Unmapped Mental Life.