Accidental Virgin

From: Venus, Goddess of Love, 120 Main, Mt. Olympus

To: Stacy Temple, lapsed temptress

Stacy, Stacy, Stacy.

You were so promising at the beginning: Sexy, smart, personable and funny. Great on dates and really great afterward-if you know what I mean. But this is a sad state of affairs; or, in your case, non-affairs! It''s been nearly an entire year and you haven''t had your way with even ONE eligible male. You''ve been working so hard concocting sexy lingerie for Thongs.com -- and really, Stacy, if that little pink velvet bustier didn''t put you in the mood, I don''t know what to say! -- that you haven''t even tried to be coaxed out of your own thong.com!

Are you listening, Stacy? Seven days to find the perfect man -- or else!

Happy hunting!