Where Are the Customers' Yachts? or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street

Fred Schwed, Jr., was a professional trader who had the good sense to get out after losing a bundle (of mostly his own money) in the 1929 crash. Some years later, Schwed published a children's book titled Wacky, the Small Boy. Wacky became a bestseller, and Schwed went on to draw further on his experience in writing Where Are the Customers' Yachts? His publisher said of him, "Mr. Schwed has attended Lawrenceville and Princeton and has spent the last ten years on Wall Street. As a result, he knows everything there is to know about children."

"wonderful book" (Evening Standard, 24 August 2001)

• Introduction xiiiJason ZweigForeword to the 1995 Edition xxiMichael LewisIntroduction to the 1955 Bull Market Edition xxv1 Introduction – “The Modest Cough of Minor Poet” 3The Validity of Financial PredictionsThe Passion for ProphecyWhen the Bull jumped over the MoonII Financiers and Seers 23Big Banking – Nice work if you can get itSome Assistant TycoonsThe Fruit on the Blossom of ThoughtWall Street SemanticsChartistsThe PayThe Difficulties of “Earning” MoneyAn Art Without a MuseA Little Aptitude TestIII Customers – That Hardy Breed 49Varieties of CustomersHow to Get CustomersMargin What to Do When the Dam BurstsSome Case Histories and a DiagnosisChurning Money as a CareerIV Investment Trusts – Promises and Performance 67Stop Making Your Own MistakesWhere is the Catch?The Hell-Paving Construction CompanyThe Trouble with the “Best” SecuritiesThe $750,000 BirdBy Way of ApologyThe Magical Investment CorporationV The Short Seller – He of the Black Heart 87For the DefenseA Different DefenseWith and Without BearsBear RaidingVI Puts, Call, Straddles, and Gabble 105What Options are (More or Less)In Defense of the Pure GambleThe CatchVII The “Good” Old Days and the “Great” Captains 117The I.Q. of a Big ShotSpeculation on SpeculationA Brief Excursion into ProbabilitiesDown will Come Baby“They”ManipulatorsA Bowl of NickelsVIII Investment – Many Questions and a Few Answers 135Headaches of the WealthyA Little Wonderful AdvicePrice and Value – Our Special Market LetterCash as a Long-Term InvestmentYour Way of Life and the Basis BookIX Reform – Some Yeas and Nays 153Was it Stolen or Did you Lose It?Nobody Loves a SpecialistHorizons and Limits of RegulationInconclusionsAbout the Author 171