Keith Olbermann was rescued from a sinking barge, and raised by wild ocelots in the Brazilian rain forest. Years later, he was found by a touring band of would-be soccer play-by-play announcers and brought back to civilization (well, Bristol).

Detroit Free Press For those of you scoring at home...buy the book.

• CONTENTSPREFACE vINTRODUCTION xi1 • HI, HELLO, AND HOW ARE YOU? 12 • A SORT OF GLOSSARY OF TERMS 93 • THE OFFICIAL TIME-LINE HISTORY OF THE BIG SHOW 334 • HOW WE DO THE VOODOO THAT WE DO 495 • "BILL BUCKNER -- COULD YOU DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED?" Dan and Keith's Top Ten Weirdest Things Said by Athletes 636 • GOOD GRIEF, WE'RE FAMOUS, SORT OF, PART-TIME 937 • HOW TO BE A SPORTSCASTER WHEN YOU GROW UP Dan and Keith's Top Ten Free Pieces of Advice to Other Sportscasters 1158 • PETE ROSE AND THE HALL OF FAME 1399 • KEITH'S COMPLAINT: IF YOU BUILD IT FOR ME, I WON'T LEAVE Dan and Keith's Top Ten Most Troubling Sports Team Names 18710 • DAN'S COMPLAINT: WE BLAME ATHLETES FOR THE WRONG THINGS Dan and Keith's Top Ten Favorite Types of Sports Figures to Interview 19911 • OUR TWENTY-ONE TOP TEN ATHLETES 20712 • KEITH'S COMPLAINT, PART II: TO MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR ALBERT BELLE TO HATE MY GUTS 23313 • PLAYS OF THE WEEK Dan and Keith's Top Ten Pleas to Athletes Who Are Being Interviewed 24114 • OUR GREATEST GAMES (WATCHED, THAT IS, NOT PLAYED) Keith's Top Ten Prominent Baseball Players' Names (Submitted Without Dan's Approval) 24915 • PUT YOUR BASEBALL CARDS IN YOUR BICYCLE SPOKES, NOW! 28116 • BUT ENOUGH ABOUT US, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT US? 29517 • TOM 305

Keith Olbermann was rescued from a sinking barge, and raised by wild ocelots in the Brazilian rain forest. Years later, he was found by a touring band of would-be soccer play-by-play announcers and brought back to civilization (well, Bristol).

Detroit Free Press For those of you scoring at home...buy the book.

• CONTENTSPREFACE vINTRODUCTION xi1 • HI, HELLO, AND HOW ARE YOU? 12 • A SORT OF GLOSSARY OF TERMS 93 • THE OFFICIAL TIME-LINE HISTORY OF THE BIG SHOW 334 • HOW WE DO THE VOODOO THAT WE DO 495 • "BILL BUCKNER -- COULD YOU DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED?" Dan and Keith's Top Ten Weirdest Things Said by Athletes 636 • GOOD GRIEF, WE'RE FAMOUS, SORT OF, PART-TIME 937 • HOW TO BE A SPORTSCASTER WHEN YOU GROW UP Dan and Keith's Top Ten Free Pieces of Advice to Other Sportscasters 1158 • PETE ROSE AND THE HALL OF FAME 1399 • KEITH'S COMPLAINT: IF YOU BUILD IT FOR ME, I WON'T LEAVE Dan and Keith's Top Ten Most Troubling Sports Team Names 18710 • DAN'S COMPLAINT: WE BLAME ATHLETES FOR THE WRONG THINGS Dan and Keith's Top Ten Favorite Types of Sports Figures to Interview 19911 • OUR TWENTY-ONE TOP TEN ATHLETES 20712 • KEITH'S COMPLAINT, PART II: TO MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR ALBERT BELLE TO HATE MY GUTS 23313 • PLAYS OF THE WEEK Dan and Keith's Top Ten Pleas to Athletes Who Are Being Interviewed 24114 • OUR GREATEST GAMES (WATCHED, THAT IS, NOT PLAYED) Keith's Top Ten Prominent Baseball Players' Names (Submitted Without Dan's Approval) 24915 • PUT YOUR BASEBALL CARDS IN YOUR BICYCLE SPOKES, NOW! 28116 • BUT ENOUGH ABOUT US, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT US? 29517 • TOM 305