CIAO CRAB INC.

Barry Thrumble is certain that Ciao Crab Inc., a tinned seafood operation in a Guernsey fish-packing shed, is destined for global domination. Armed with a too-large suit, a startled comma-crab logo, and a slogan missing its final vowel, he pursues the Asian luxury market with the fervour of a man who has never failed spectacularly enough to know better. His deck is twelve pages of optimistic projection. His Mandarin practice has accidentally promised testicles instead of eternity. His tote bags arrive upside down. His Shanghai contact has filed his emails under "e;Unsolicited/Misc."e; None of this registers. Ciao Crab Inc. follows Barry, his long-suffering design assistant Pip, and the magnificently grounded Kevin through the full arc of entrepreneurial delusion, from a viral open rate on an ignored pitch deck to the slow, humbling discovery that permanence doesn't come from chasing skyscrapers. It comes from standing on ground. Darkly funny, precisely observed, and unexpectedly warm, this is a novella about the gap between the story we tell ourselves and the ground beneath our feet.