May your yogurt be teeming with bacteria. International best-selling author Bradley Trevor Greive bestows this blessing on readers and many more in his newest gift book, Curses and Blessing For All Occasions. Mixed in are as many respectable curses for good measure. Witty, warm, and engaging, BTG brings his trademark style to this humorously twisted book for all events, circumstances, and occasions.

Blessings include:

• May your excuses for avoiding tedious social engagements always sound credible.
• May your blocked pores be licked clean by angels.
• May your corpse be museum worthy.

• May small dogs exploit all your insecurities.
• May a bomber formation of incontinent geese fly over your sunroof.
• May all dairy items in your fridge be of questionable vintage.