Forgiving Others, Forgiving Ourselves

Myra Warren Isenhart, PhD, who has devoted her career to helping others through conflict resolution, is founder of Organizational Communication, Inc. She served on faculties at Regis University, University of Denver and St. Thomas Theological Seminary and trained in alternative dispute resolution at Harvard Law School. She is coauthor of Collaborative Approaches to Resolving Conflict; Negotiation as a Way of Life and Negotiation: Communication for Diverse Settings.Michael Spangle, PhD, a professor at Regis University and former Navy chaplain, teaches courses on forgiveness, emotions, communication and relationships. He is coauthor of Collaborative Approaches to Resolving Conflict; Negotiation as a Way of Life and Negotiation: Communication for Diverse Settings.

"Draw[s] on many different religious traditions and scholarly disciplines…. Successfully explores the many dimensions of forgiveness … remarkable and useful."—Rev. Anita L. Bradshaw, PhD, author, Change and Conflict in Your Congregation (Even If You Hate Both): How to Implement Conscious Choices, Manage Emotions and Build a Thriving Christian Community“A rich, well-researched and thoughtful guide to forgiveness. Offer[s] a wide array of tools to help the reader navigate the difficult paths to forgiveness.”—Frederic Luskin, PhD, author, Forgive for Good“A comprehensive guide for helping people understand forgiveness and assisting them through this often challenging process. Invaluable for psychologists and mediators who facilitate the forgiveness process with their clients.”—Scott Poland, PhD, psychologist and mediator, Fort Collins, Colorado“A tour de force—empirically based and applicable! Helps us better understand the facets of forgiveness—psychological, relational, spiritual—and offers a wide array of approaches for putting them into practice in our everyday lives.”—Diane M. Millis, PhD, author, Deepening Engagement: Essential Wisdom for Listening and Leading with Purpose, Meaning and Joy“An exceptional resource for every practitioner who is looking for new ideas to reframe and often heal life's hurts and offenses. Equally useful for every person wanting to give or receive genuine forgiveness.”—Elizabeth Loescher, founder and former executive director, Conflict Center of Denver, Colorado; founder, Georgia Conflict Center“In a world of ever more amplifying conflict, a constricting world in which we cannot escape the inevitable rage and hurts others feel, Isenhart and Spangle give us a gateway. If you are in the business of trying to deal with wounds, read this book.”—Peter S. Adler, PhD, author, Eye of the Storm Leadership“Profoundly addresses this essential element in a healed and whole life…. With wisdom, practicality and concrete suggestions for making forgiveness real in one’s life—a truly important tool for any individual or any helper in any field.”—The Rev. Marilyn Schneider, Episcopal priest and spiritual director

• Introduction1. The Nature of Forgiveness: Begin with a Clear Understanding2. Ways We Experience Forgiveness: Three Perspectives on Harm Within and Between Us3. Benefits of Forgiving and Being Forgiven: Releasing the Past, Embracing the Future4. Resisting the Practice of Forgiveness: Why Such Difficulties?5. What Facilitates Forgiveness? Personality, Relationships, and Communities6. The Path to Forgiveness: Acknowledging Our Mistakes and Taking Action7. Self-Forgiveness: Confronting Our Harshest Critic8. The Role of Apology: How Apologies Heal9. Reconciliation: The Bridge to Repairing a Broken Relationship10. When Forgiving and Reconciling Are Difficult: Overcoming the Factors That Prevent Forgiveness11 . Helping Others Forgive: Serving as a Peacemaker in the World Around YouConcluding ThoughtsAcknowledgmentsNotesSuggestions for Further Learning