Read 'em and Weep

Thick Richard (real name Clever Dick) has been stubbornly pursuing this ridiculous career path for much longer than you would believe. His material has [allegedly] been stolen by the likes of Viz, Jimmy Carr, the Channel 4 sitcom Bad Education, and an advert for Bold washing powder. Uncoincidentally, he was once barred from every laundrette in Chorlton-cum-Hardy. In another unrelated hygiene incident, moments before his set at Glastonbury he followed-through and then fell off the stage into the audience. He was told he would not perform there again and so far he has not. He once performed accompanied by the chair-man of the Rolf Harris fan club on wobbleboard (before all that happened). After sneaking into the Manchester Comedy Awards he was ejected by the bouncers onto the roof of the Piccadilly Hotel, where he was forced to spend the rest of the night. Whilst hosting an NME party he mistakenly introduced The Courteeners as The Citrons and was promptly bottled off stage. His flamboyant use of profanity once saw the official Edinburgh Fringe radio station temporarily closed down. He has been kidnapped on two separate and unconnected occasions.

"With more bile than an overactive gall bladder, Thick Richard is back to put the doss in dossier." - Marvin Cheeseman, poet, raconteur, bon-viveur & lepidopterist; "His work splits sides and rallies spirits in equal measure." - Rob Steventon, Punk in Drublic; "Searing and satirical; he is at once voracious, vehemently opinionated and very very good." - ARGH KiD, wordsmith sensation; "Not just a collection of verse, but a manual for survival." - Dominic Berry, Glastonbury Festival poet-in-residence; "His wit, humour and pinpoint observation, provide a poetic hammer to smash down on all those heart-shaped fingers which perpetuate our oven-ready, sanitised culture." - Andrew Graves, Mulletproof poet; Praise for the author: "Much funnier than William Wordsworth." - Arthur Smith; "His words are rattling and brilliant and shoot life back at you in all its futility and chaos and wonder." - Kae Tempest; "John Cooper Clarke channelling the spirit of Frankie Boyle." - Terry Christian; "I like a bit of fun, but this is ridiculous." - Dr John Cooper Clarke; "Uncompromising biting wit, brutally funny and true. An angry orator, a comedy wiz and super-talented wordsmith!" - Sophie Willan; "His fierce, funny diatribes offer an essential antidote to an ever more sanitised and derivative culture. A unique and authentic working-class voice." - Byron Vincent