No More Meltdowns

Having earned his MA and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Albany, Dr. Jed Baker is a behavioral consultant for several New Jersey school districts where, nearly two decades ago, he organized a group to help children with social communication problems. That group expanded and ultimately became the Social Skills Training Project under Dr. Baker's directorship. Dr. Baker also presents lectures all over the world on social skills training, and is on the board of directors of the Asperger's Syndrome Education Network, Inc. (ASPEN). His work has been featured on ABC News and Nightline.

This is a reminder that no one is perfect. Each child is different, and what works for one child may not work for the next child. He also gives practical, common-sense advice." - Washington Times Herald"Jed Baker, in this excellent book, gives us the tools to deal with and prevent out-of-control behavior. Wisely, he leads us grown-ups to understand how to change our own behavior in order to help our children change theirs."—Carol Stock Kranowitz "Author of best-seller The Out-of-Sync Child"

• ForewordIntroductionTHE PROBLEMChapter 1: Meltdowns: When rewards and punishments are not enoughWhat is a meltdown?The usual parenting advice: start with rules and consequencesThe limits of discipline: when rewards and punishments no longer workBut aren’t meltdowns just manipulative behavior?Can we really expect no more meltdowns?An overview of the four-step model for reducing meltdownsChapter 2: What are meltdowns made of?Fight, flight or freeze responseTemperamentDifficulties with abstract thinking and perspective takingInflexibilityAn explosive combinationTHE SOLUTIONChapter 3: Accepting and appreciating our childrenControlling our own frustrationBuilding competenceAvoiding learned helplessnessThe 80/20 ruleAnticipating frustration as part of learningWhen to avoid power strugglesChapter 4: De-escalating a meltdownHow to de-escalate a meltdownDistractionsWhen too much distraction can make things worseHelping children find their own distractions and calming strategiesSteps for creating self-calming strategiesChapter 5: Understanding why repeat problems occurUnderstanding the triggersThe ABCs of behavior: Antecedent, Behavior, ConsequenceGetting the ABCs: Interviews and observationsSeeing the patternChapter 6: Creating a prevention planThe components of a good prevention planA prevention plan for KevinThe four types of meltdown situationsPlans for the Four Types of Meltdown SituationsChapter 7: DemandsDo your schoolworkTry it, it’s deliciousHurry up, the bus is comingClean upLet’s go to the partyChapter 8: WaitingJust waitYou can’t always get what you wantOkay, time to stop playingChapter 9: Threats to self-imageWinning isn’t everythingIt’s okay to make mistakesBut names will never hurt youChapter 10: Unmet wishes for attentionI can’t play with you nowDon’t be jealousTime to go to bedChapter 11: Closing thoughts: Finding your own wayPrevention plan formReferences