Gerry Burke – författare

In all modesty, these essays and articles are all about me but I would be surprised if some of them didnt resonate with your own arsenal of memories. My shallow life is trivial but not uninteresting. You may recognize a like-minded soul? If so, we are well on the way to being book-buddies. My narratives are laced with wit and humor and revolve around the issues that you care about: relationships, animals, travel, sport stories and some celebrity revelations that you will find almost unbelievable.

I commend the publication to you and urge you to consider it, when contemplating Birthdays, Christmas and Bar Mitzvahs.

Gerry Burke Melbourne, Australia

PADDY PEST: As a crime fighter, the indefatigable Paddy Pest bumbles around, but he gets things done. His adventures and misadventures requirehim to confront his own demons, dames, debt-collectors and villains of every description. In his spare time, Paddy likes to relax at the casino, the track, or at his favorite gentlemens club.

THE ACHIEVERS: Some people will do anything to get where they want to be. Here, politicians, film stars, sport stars, and intrepid entrepreneurs are each obsessively vying for their place in the sun.They have one thing in common: theyre all in the hot seat.

TRANSITION: Evolution is not just a philosophical phenomenon; a change of job, an ambitious determination, or an ounce of luck can all be motivation enough to change ones circumstancesthough not always for the better. Meet a gaggle of ordinary folks who do extraordinary things, mostly for their own benefit.

Also available by Gerry Burke:

From Beer to PaternityOne mans journey through life as we know it

Down-Under ShortsStories to read while theyre fumigating your pants

Ask anyone who knows him: Paddy Pest is a real character.

Paddy is an Australian crime fighter with a dubious Irish background, an overwhelming abundance of confidence, and a handful of bad habits. His enthusiasm for finding trouble is only exceeded by his incompetence.

Fortunately, his pal and sometime sidekick, Stormy Weathers, is usually available to rescue him from his ill-advised forays into foolish and reckless situationsfrequently involving the fairer sex. From Yvette Baguette, the delightfully French gendarme, to Paddys nemesis, Nadia Nickoffthe minx from MinskPaddy is a ladys man all the way.

Murder and mayhem are all in a days work for this Aussie crime fighter. He needs his wits to survive the onslaught of the disreputable rogues and villains who are out to get him. Paddys life is one big, unbelievable adventure after another. And now, hes got a certain lady on a certain train who needs his helpor does she?

The world needs someone like Paddy Pestand if you doubt that, just ask him!

Paddy Pest is a hero to himself and others. Youd better believe it. The man has been fighting crime all his life and although he does have his shortcomings, he does try hard. Bless his heart, he really tries. And now, someone has put out a contract on him. Is there no justice?

Luckily for Paddy, his wing-person is the exquisite barmaid, Stormy Weathers, his longtime girlfriend and undercover perative. There is no more potent a force in the fight against corruption and wrongdoing, and the supersleuth is the favored go-to man for any number of international agencies. Admittedly, when the chips are down, they are always prepared to disown him.

Paddys relationship with Australias unmarried prime minister has tongues wagging, but in times of trouble, she wouldnt have anyone else by her side. And his relationship with Frankie Hogan, the bordello queen? Well, thats another story.

Paddys tales of intrigue are unbelievable and even Maxwell Smart would be impressed. He makes that gentleman look like a genius.

Paddy Pest, the ubiquitous Aussie gumshoe, is immersed in a world full of beautiful women, conniving conspirators, and covert agents. Never without his Beretta or fold-up boomerang, Paddy is always prepareda good thing, since he is about to take a ride on the wild side with his entourage of female associates.Stormy Weathers, Paddys girlfriend and wing person, is known for her flaming red hair, nice legs, and her ability to hold her own in a fight. Pest surrounds himself with girls with guns and they mean business. Ariadne Vasilis has long black hair, a brutal arm-chop, and a fierce loyalty to her country, as does the delightful French gendarme Yvette Baguette. She wouldnt be seen dead without her Paris fashion labels. From a salacious situation in Salem to a conundrum in Kentucky! Theres murder in Melbourne and mystery in Moscow, and Paddys people are playing for keeps. Paddys People is a collection of short stories laced with treachery, mayhem, and mischievous behavior that encompass some of Paddys worldwide adventures and acknowledge those men and women who have been inspired by his exploits.

THEY COME IN PEACE, OR SO THEY SAY.Planet Schmoo is so far into outer space it is the last stop before heaven. When a cataclysmic seismic intervention decimates their world, the Schmooans look for refuge on Earth and a continuation of the lifestyle to which they are accustomed.Homeland security agent Calvin Swift and his girl-friend, the alluring Alicia Angelico, already have their hands full with interstellar visitors. The once-in-a-millennium Intergalactic Games are in full swing and now they are alerted to alien refugees and their potential to replicate at will.From the first splashdown in the Hudson River, the visitors also make their presence felt in France, Switzerland, Indonesia and Mongolia. These creatures are smart, inventive and very athletic, and when their intentions become obvious, even President Daphne Doolittle is at a loss. She doesnt know what to do.This fast-moving humorous narrative pits the superior intellect of the aliens against the gritty determination of one man and his lady, with a little help from his British counterpart, the suave MI6 agent, Bulldog Bartholomew. With the fate of the world at stake, who else would you turn to?

Crime:

Murder with Malice

The murder of a controversial figure in a public place creates nervous tension at police headquarters. Chief Inspector Dave Klingendorf and his offsider from the Homicide Squad, the enigmatic Rachel Lyons, fight to keep the case alive while others try to bury it.

In Melbourne

The underbelly of one of Australias most sedate and conservative cities is uncovered to reveal dark secrets and gruesome revelations. The investigators look to the growing mafia influence in the city while those in Chinatown ponder the possibilities of extending their power base.