Hart Seely – författare

From award-winning reporter and author of Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld comes this collection of poems mined from the interviews, speeches, and tweets of Republican President-elect Donald Trump. The Vicious Ones I was attacked viciously By those women, Of course, it's very hard for them To attack me on looks, Because I'm so good looking. But I was attacked very viciously By those women. --August 9, 2015, NBC's Meet the Press Straight from the mouth of "the Donald" himself, this treasury of spoken poetry-not a word is changed-has been culled from nearly 30 years of interviews, speeches, tweets, and ramblings from President-elect and billionaire Donald Trump. Since the 1980s, Trump has built his verses like his casinos, using only the highest quality words and phrases, regardless of cost. He's run a real estate empire, achieved a net worth of ten billion dollars, scripted best-sellers, and starred in the top-rated TV show "The Apprentice." Like a colossus, he bestrides the cultural world as if it were the bottle-strewn boardwalk of Atlantic City.But until now, Trump's poetry-delivered spontaneously in moments of enduring clarity-has gone unnoticed, (making it the only aspect of Trump to be that way.) On a regular basis, The Donald speaks, tweets and hollers his verses-always without the needless restrictions of political correctness and grammar...because among world class poets, there don't be no grammar, there only be truth...big time! Whether you're a Trump debunker or admirer, The Bard of the Deal will delight, shock, and entertain you. So prepare to be Trumped by the ten billion dollar poetry of the ten billion dollar bard. This is the art of the poem.

From award-winning reporter and author of Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld comes this collection of poems mined from the interviews, speeches, and tweets of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.The Vicious OnesI was attacked viciouslyBy those women,Of course, it''s very hard for themTo attack me on looks,Because I''m so good looking.But I was attacked very viciouslyBy those women.--August 9, 2015, NBC''s Meet the PressStraight from the mouth of "the Donald" himself, this treasury of spoken poetry—not a word is changed—has been culled from nearly 30 years of interviews, speeches, tweets, and ramblings from Presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump. Since the 1980s, Trump has built his verses like his casinos, using only the highest quality words and phrases, regardless of cost. He''s run a real estate empire, achieved a net worth of ten billion dollars, scripted best-sellers, and starred in the top-rated TV show "The Apprentice." Like a colossus, he bestrides the cultural world as if it were the bottle-strewn boardwalk of Atlantic City.But until now, Trump''s poetry—delivered spontaneously in moments of enduring clarity—has gone unnoticed, (making it the only aspect of Trump to be that way.) On a regular basis, The Donald speaks, tweets and hollers his verses—always without the needless restrictions of political correctness and grammar… because among world class poets, there don''t be no grammar, there only be truth… big time!Whether you''re a Trump debunker or admirer, The Bard of the Deal will delight, shock, and entertain you. So prepare to be Trumped by the ten billion dollar poetry of the ten billion dollar bard. This is the art of the poem.

From the pages of The New Yorker, The New York Times, and Slate stagger Frank Cammuso and Hart Seely, restoring a cheerful sanity to our deranged lives and times.Every now and then, funny writing somehow manages to retain full possession of literary quality. Please see Twain, Heller, Benchley, Parker, Frazier, Geng. And now please see Cammuso and Seely. If you''re not some famous person in our hyped, commodified, three-screen (movie, TV, computer), celeb-ridden society, count your blessings. Because if you are, Cammuso and Seely will probably get you sooner or later. They got Martha Stewart--they have her planning gracious plans for her version of the Son of God''s final repast: "Jesus has indicated--against my better wishes--that He intends to gird Himself with a towel and wash everybody''s feet. So be it. But beforehand, I''ll run his terry cloth for five minutes in the dryer, making it toasty and soft." They (fondly) postu-late how Phil Rizzuto might have written a characteristically fractionated version of "Casey at the Bat": "''Fraud!'' cried the maddened thousands, and the echo murmured ''Fraud.'' / Hey, Murcer! Look! Bea Arthur! Didn''t she play Maude?" The Flintstones become the Clintstones, Quentin Tarantino directs The Three Little Pigs, and Dr. Seuss collaborates poetically with Rod Serling.Even when the targets of these pieces are of the moment, Cammuso and Seely''s humor will endure. What''s more evanescent than pop-music stardom? Sex, maybe, but not much else. But who won''t laugh, even years from now, as Cammuso and Seely--in "Six Degrees of Chuck Berry"--introduce some of the record industry''s often interchangeable personages to each other: "Tanya, Enya. Enya, Shania. Shania, Mariah. Mariah, Wynonna. Wynonna, Fiona . . . " Nobody.From the Hardcover edition.

From an award-winning humorist, a touching memoir and manifesto that reveals the deep secrets of fan jinxes, hexes, and charmsDid you know there is a secret to winning ballgames? It''s not the players, managers, money, or luck. It''s juju, and no one knows it better than Hart Seely. Seely has spent a lifetime practicing the art of juju from his living room. And winning ballgames for the New York Yankees. He paces floors. He yells at defenseless TVs. He rallies the team like Churchill addressing the collective British soul. But what he is really doing is harnessing juju energy to influence the outcome of games. And it works.In this uproarious, unforgettable fan confessional, Seely shares the basics of juju for the beginner—"Setting the Table," asking for a called strike instead of a walk-off homer—to advanced juju—"Bringing the Neg," predicting bad events to keep them from actually happening—to the deepest, darkest formulas of this age-old art. Along the way readers come to know Hart and his hilarious band of fellow juju practitioners, a secret club of friends whose fandom bonds them across decades, not to mention won/loss columns.Nostalgic, heartwarming, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Juju Rules is a memoir of a life well-lived in service to one''s team that shows how love can be a powerful passion in the best way.

Can anything be poetic in the politicking of Washington, D.C.? Is there poetry in the morning's headlines and in tonight's news tickers? Or, as Seely paraphrases Dr. Seuss, Do W's troubles trouble you, too? America's pundit poet laureate, the man who channeled the poetry of Donald Rumsfeld and Phil Rizzuto, now offers the perfect metaphor for the inside-the-beltway bubble: it's a nursery. Using the beneficent spirit of Mother Goose, he has fashioned hilarious nursery rhymes hidden amid the photo ops and filibustering. "John Kerry backed Iraq, John Kerry took it back," making him "a very airy, wary hara-kiri." Bill Bennett, "independent, Kept a hidden secret muse. He would clutch his lucky pendant, Praying, 'Papa needs new shoes!'" As for Iraq, "When you lose, you lose, and when you win, you win, and when you can't tell win from lose, best stop the war you're in." No one is safe from Seely's wicked muse: Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, virtually every news anchor, and a good portion of the Hollywood elite are skewered unforgettably by Seely's Mother Goosequills in this irreverent and hilarious collection.