Diddly Squat – serie

Pre-order the all-new collection of hair-raising missteps and hilarious antics on Diddly Squat Farm, from gentleman farmer and two-time Sexiest Man Alive winner, Jeremy Clarkson.'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMESUncooperative animals, underperforming crops, and rather less than best-laid plans pursued with unbridled enthusiasm. Clarkson’s farm is the gift that keeps on giving. But, as one overseas visitor* admitted, he only came to Diddly Squat because he just didn’t believe that Jeremy could be so incompetent.Not one to be discouraged, however, our hero decides to bring his misunderstood entrepreneurial flair to bear on a new venture: a pub. And just a few short weeks later, the doors open on The Farmer’s Dog.All British produce, Hawkstone beer on tap, a private bar for farmers and a vintage tractor hanging from the ceiling. The perfect country pub. A welcome distraction from sustainable farming initiatives, psychedelic wheat, angry protests in central London and a headbutting goat.What, you may be asking, could possibly go wrong?On top of the lavatories packing up and the electricity running out, you mean? As the Cotwolds’ newest publican quickly discovers, there’s a lot more to landlording than pulling pints.Just as well, then, that he still has Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald to help him through. Especially now his doctor’s told him he’s got to become a vegetablist …*along with the whole of the rest of China, apparently___________Praise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat FarmTHE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out_________Welcome to Clarkson's farm.It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'.And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it.From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough.Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . ._________'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening StandardPraise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH'Quite lovely' THE TIMESDiddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022

THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERHead back down to Clarkson Farm with the bestseller from our favourite welly-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson___________Enthusiastic trainee farmer Jeremy Clarkson made just £144 in his first year at Diddly Squat Farm. This year he's determined to do better. Not because he now knows what he's doing. But because he's fed up of getting stick from Kaleb.Yet farming continues to be a challenge.For instance . . .· Loading a grain trailer was more demanding than flying an Apache gunship?· Cows were more dangerous than motor-racing?· It's easier to get planning permission to build a nuclear plant than to turn a barn into a restaurant?Jeremy's always got a plan. Loads of them. Often cunning.Not always greeted with wild enthusiasm by Kaleb and Cheerful Charlie, however . . .___________PRAISE FOR DIDDLY SQUAT'Clarkson has done more for farmers in one series than Countryfile achieved in 30 years' James Rebanks, author of A Shepherd's Life'Clarkson has showcased the passion, humour and personalities of the people who work throughout the year to grow the nation's food . . . and brought an understanding of many of the issues faced by farmers to the British public' National Farmers Union'A deserving Farming Champion of the Year' Farmers Weekly'I don't know anything about farming. It's like David Attenborough doing jet-skiing, or Nicholas Witchell saying, "I'm going to be a cage fighter'" Jeremy ClarksonNumber 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022

Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat FarmTHE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out_________Welcome to Clarkson's farm.It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'.And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it.From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough.Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . ._________'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening StandardPraise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERHead back down to Clarkson Farm with the latest bestseller from our favourite welly-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson___________Enthusiastic trainee farmer Jeremy Clarkson made just £144 in his first year at Diddly Squat Farm. This year he's determined to do better. Not because he now knows what he's doing. But because he's fed up of getting stick from Kaleb.Yet farming continues to be a challenge.For instance . . .· Loading a grain trailer was more demanding than flying an Apache gunship?· Cows were more dangerous than motor-racing?· It's easier to get planning permission to build a nuclear plant than to turn a barn into a restaurant?Jeremy's always got a plan. Loads of them. Often cunning.Not always greeted with wild enthusiasm by Kaleb and Cheerful Charlie, however . . .___________PRAISE FOR DIDDLY SQUAT'Clarkson has done more for farmers in one series than Countryfile achieved in 30 years' James Rebanks, author of A Shepherd's Life'Clarkson has showcased the passion, humour and personalities of the people who work throughout the year to grow the nation's food . . . and brought an understanding of many of the issues faced by farmers to the British public' National Farmers Union'A deserving Farming Champion of the Year' Farmers Weekly'I don't know anything about farming. It's like David Attenborough doing jet-skiing, or Nicholas Witchell saying, "I'm going to be a cage fighter'" Jeremy Clarkson

Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out---After three years, Jeremy Clarkson has discovered the golden rule of farming:whatever you hope will happen, won't.Enthusiastic schemes to diversify face defeat at the hands of the Council Planning department, or derision from Kaleb. Jeremy's plans for a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup are doubted by Lisa. And the stifling thickets of red tape keep only one person smiling – Cheerful Charlie, who charges by the hour.But the animals couldn’t be happier. A rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro is delighting the cows. The pigs are bringing home the bacon. And the goats are . . . most probably psychopaths.Yet on the good days it hard not to be optimistic.Where else do you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner?Maybe it’s not just Break-heart Maestro who gets a happy ending?----Readers are loving Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly‘Another funny book from Jeremy. This one made me chuckle but, my only complaint it's too short. I wanted more. Hopefully Another book is being written as we speak’ ***** Reader Review‘I love the show and I love the books. Both make me chuckle but have also given me an insight into farming and how hard farming is’ **** Reader Review‘I’ve read the previous books and loved those as well.Witty and funny with depth and a bit of seriousness’ **** Reader Review‘Loved it, quickest book I've ever read. Can't wait for the next Clarkson instalment’ **** Reader Review

Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out---After three years, Jeremy Clarkson has discovered the golden rule of farming:whatever you hope will happen, won't.Enthusiastic schemes to diversify face defeat at the hands of the Council Planning department, or derision from Kaleb. Jeremy's plans for a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup are doubted by Lisa. And the stifling thickets of red tape keep only one person smiling – Cheerful Charlie, who charges by the hour.But the animals couldn’t be happier. A rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro is delighting the cows. The pigs are bringing home the bacon. And the goats are . . . most probably psychopaths.Yet on the good days it hard not to be optimistic.Where else do you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner?Maybe it’s not just Break-heart Maestro who gets a happy ending?----Readers are loving Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly‘Another funny book from Jeremy. This one made me chuckle but, my only complaint it's too short. I wanted more. Hopefully Another book is being written as we speak’ ***** Reader Review‘I love the show and I love the books. Both make me chuckle but have also given me an insight into farming and how hard farming is’ **** Reader Review‘I’ve read the previous books and loved those as well.Witty and funny with depth and a bit of seriousness’ **** Reader Review‘Loved it, quickest book I've ever read. Can't wait for the next Clarkson instalment’ **** Reader Review

It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm . . .Where the spring barley crop has failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid. The mushrooms went mouldy. While the sheep, pigs and cows cost more than they earned. At least, the farm shop’s doing a roaring trade in candles – even if they smell like Jeremy’s knacker hammock.So never mind the rain, the skirmishes with the local planning department and the gargantuan hole in Jeremy’s wallet. Because it’s hard to feel too gloomy about life when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger waiting in the barn.For any man with several metric tons of powerful machinery at his fingertips must be doing something right . . .Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2024

It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm . . .Where the spring barley crop has failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid. The mushrooms went mouldy. While the sheep, pigs and cows cost more than they earned. At least, the farm shop’s doing a roaring trade in candles – even if they smell like Jeremy’s knacker hammock.So never mind the rain, the skirmishes with the local planning department and the gargantuan hole in Jeremy’s wallet. Because it’s hard to feel too gloomy about life when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger waiting in the barn.For any man with several metric tons of powerful machinery at his fingertips must be doing something right . . .Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2024

The all-new collection of hair-raising missteps and hilarious antics on Diddly Squat Farm, from gentleman farmer and two-time Sexiest Man Alive winner, Jeremy Clarkson.'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMESUncooperative animals, failing crops and plans that never quite work out. Clarkson’s farm is the gift that keeps on giving.This time, our gentleman farmer tries his hand at running a pub. With Hawkstone beer on tap, a vintage tractor on the ceiling and a headbutting goat in the yard, what could possibly go wrong?From dodgy lavatories to power cuts, angry protests to 'vegetablist' diets, Clarkson faces disasters big and small with the help of Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald.Crops, chaos and Clarkson – the funniest farm in Britain just got a pub.__Praise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMES----Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.So, that went well . . .The spring barley crop failed.Just like the oil seed rape.And the durum wheat.Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy.Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger . . .’*Jeremy----Praise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH'Quite lovely' THE TIMESNumber 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2024