Nurture the Nature

Michael Gurian is a family therapist and the New York Times best-selling author of The Wonder of Boys, The Wonder of Girls, The Good Son, Boys and Girls Learn Differently! and The Minds of Boys, among many others. He is cofounder of the Gurian Institute and a pioneer in the fields of family development, education, and gender studies. He has appeared on Today, Good Morning America, CNN, NPR, and in the New York Times, USA Today, Time, Newsweek, and elsewhere.

• Understanding Your Own and Your Child’s Core Nature: An Observation Tool viiAcknowledgments xvIntroduction: Rediscovering Our Children 1Your Child’s Nature 5Nurture the Nature of Your Child 7Essential Parenting 12A Special Feature for Moms and Dads with Newborns: Ten Tips for Nurturing the Nature of Your Baby 15Part One Protecting the Nature of Your Child 191 Escaping the Social Trends Parenting System 21What is Chronic Stress in the American Family? 24The Social Trends Parenting System 32Nurturing Your Child’s Nature 37Getting Started 392 Understandinging the Core Nature of Your Child 43Using Nature-Based Theory in Your Family 46The Myth of the Blank Slate Child 47Eight New Sciences That Can Help You Understand Your Child’s Core Nature 52Creating a Profile of Your Child’s Core Nature 63Your Essential Parenting Blueprint 77“Who Am I?” 78Part Two Nurturing the Nature of Your Child 833 Nurturing the Nature of Your Infant 85Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 86Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Infant 87Natural Differences Between Infant Boys and Girls 92A Revolution in Parenting 94Essential Mothers, Essential Fathers 95Parents-Beyond-Parents 100The Importance of the Mother-Infant Bond 104Burning Question: Can Vaccinations Harm My Infant? 112Parenting as a Spiritual Discipline 1134 Nurturing the Nature of Your Two- to Three-Year-Old 116Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 117Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Toddler 117Natural Differences Between Toddler Girls and Boys 121The Importance of Play, Order, and Discipline 125Self-Awareness of Your Own Core Nature 132Burning Question: How Do I Handle Tantrums? 133“She Was a Handful!” 1365 Nurturing the Nature of Your Four- to Six-Year-Old 138Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 141Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Four- to Six-Year-Old 142Natural Differences Between Boys and Girls Age Four to Six 146Handling Sibling Rivalry 148Helping Your Self-Educating Child Ask, “Who Am I?” 151Redefining Food, Shelter, and Clothing 156Burning Question: How Do I Find the Best School for My Four- to Six-Year-Old? 162Moving Forward with Both Peace and Excitement 1666 Nurturing the Nature of Your Seven- to Ten-Year-Old 170Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 171Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Seven- to Ten-Year-Old 172Natural Differences Between School-Age Girls and Boys 175Focusing on the Art of Relationship to Protect Your Child’s Core Nature 178Protecting a Child’s Core Nature by Creating Symbiotic Marriage or Symbiotic Divorce 182Burning Question: How Much Media is Too Much? 193The Courage of Parents 197Part Three Nurturing the Nature of Your Adolescent 2017 Nurturing the Nature of Your Eleven- to Fourteen-Year-Old 203Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 205Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Pubescent Child 206Natural Differences Between Early Adolescent Boys and Girls 211Helping Your Pubescent Child Through Early Adolescent Adaptations of Core Nature 214Joining Together to Link Fathers and Men to Early Adolescents 221Burning Question: How Do I Protect My Early Adolescent’s Self-Esteem? 226Moving Forward with Pride 2318 Nurturing the Nature of Your Fifteen- to Eighteen-Year-Old 235Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 238Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Middle Adolescent 239Natural Differences Between Middle Adolescent Girls and Boys 244Adapting Your Family to Accommodate Your Middle Adolescent’s Individuation of Core Nature 247Helping Adolescents Through Crisis 254Burning Question: What is the Best Way to Handle Peer Groups? 261Becoming a Woman, Becoming a Man 2679 Nurturing the Nature of Your Adolescent of Nineteen and Older 271Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 273Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Late Adolescent 274Natural Differences Between Young Men and Young Women 277Identifying and Helping Young Men and Young Women Who Lack a Mission in Life 282Burning Question: Why are Young People Maturing So Much Later Than We Did? 293The Mission in Life 295Epilogue 299AppendixesA: Principles of Nature-Based Families 301B: Tracking Your Child’s Core Personality Through Genetics: How to Draw and Understand a Genogram 303C: More Help with Food, Shelter, and Clothing: A Discussion Starter for Parent Groups 307Notes and References 311Bibliography 337The Gurian Institute 341About the Author 343Index 345