Power of Nice

RONALD M. SHAPIRO is founder of the Shapiro Negotiations Institute, a negotiations seminar and consulting firm which offers training programs and deal coaching worldwide. He has had a rich and varied career as a civil rights and corporate lawyer, state Securities Commissioner, sports agent, entrepreneur, community leader, and business executive. He advises an array of corporate and political leaders and team executives, has represented Hall of Fame players, helped settle a major symphony orchestra strike, diffused racial tension in a metropolitan police department, raised millions of dollars for charitable causes, and assisted in ending Major League Baseball's historic labor deadlock. In addition, he is a New York Times bestselling author and his books include Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People; Dare to Prepare; and Perfecting Your Pitch.JAMES DALE is an author/marketing consultant whose work includes books, articles, radio, television, sports, technology, public relations and advertising.SHAPIRO NEGOTIATIONS INSTITUTE is a premier global provider of sales, negotiation, and influence training and consulting. Its success is built on helping professionals at all levels use a systematic approach to accomplish more, faster, and with a higher degree of effectiveness. By taking more than 50 years of lessons learned in real-life situations, the Institute's team digs into specific industry and client challenges, so its tools and techniques can be implemented immediately with precision.

• Foreword to the Revised Edition by Ambassador Charlene Barshefsky xiForeword to the First Edition by Cal Ripken, Jr. xivAcknowledgments xviIntroduction: Why Change What Works? 21 Negotiation 5“I’ll Burn That Bridge When I Come to It” 5Your First Deal 7What Negotiation Isn’t 11Filling the Negotiator’s Toolbox 18What Negotiation Is 19What Negotiation Can Be 23Refresher 262 I Win–You Lose Negotiation—An Exercise in Flawed Logic 29Enemies and Entrenched Positions 29Hit and Run 32I’m Not One of Them, Am I? 35At Least One Dissatisfied Party 43Refresher 453 WIN–win Negotiation 47Myth and Reality 47Achieving WIN–win 49Good Deals Echo, They Lead to More Deals 51WIN–win Is Not Wimp–Wimp 52Roadblocks, Minefields, and Wisdom 55Putting It Together 57Refresher 644 The Three Ps—A Systematic Approach 67Prepare, Probe, and Propose 70Refresher 795 Prepare… or Else 81Preparation: The Aerobics of Negotiation 81How Prepared Are You for Your Negotiations? 82The Numbers and Letters Game 83The Numbers and Letters Game Continued… 84How to Prepare (and How Not To) 87The Preparation Checklist 89A Case Study: The Sur-Real Sales Challenge 97Confidence Is the Secret Weapon (But the Real Secret Is That Preparation Is the Key to Confidence) 104Sources of Information 105Refresher 1106 Probe, Probe, Probe 113The Other Side Is Trying to Tell You How to Make the Deal 113W.H.A.T.? The Probing Technique 120The Don’ts—How Not to Probe 126Listening 128The Zoologist 133Learning to Listen 135Refresher 1387 Propose–But Not Too Fast—Getting the Other Side to Go First 141Role Playing 141Proposing for Real 146The Three Rules Behind Propose 149Making Counterproposals 153Refresher 1588 Difficult Negotiators 161… And the Award for Most Difficult Negotiator Goes to … 162Dealing with the Difficult Negotiator (without Becoming One) 166Emotional Tactics—Nonemotional Responses 170Challenging Personalities 173Refresher 1779 Negotiating from Weakness 179Perceived Weakness versus Real Weakness 179Expand the Goals 181Locate Allies 182Never Let Them See You Sweat 185Brainstorming 187Refresher 19210 Unlocking Deadlocks 195If Nothing Works, Change Something 195Find Reasons to Agree 200Get Creative 200Objective Mechanisms 205Sometimes No Deal Is the Best Deal 209If Deal Fever Persists, Keep Saying “No” 209Refresher 21611 Building Relationships 219Today versus Tomorrow: How Long Is the Long Run? 219A Relationship Tool: Bonding 221The Meet-and-Bond Style 222Rebonding 225No Faux Bonding 227Practice Makes Bonding 228The Value of Relationships 231Refresher 23412 Putting It All Together 237The Major League Baseball Owners versus the Major League Umpires (and the Major League Umpires versus Themselves) 237Refresher 244Epilogue: Nelson Mandela—When the Power of Nice Changed a Nation 247Reinforcement Tools Link 251Post-Negotiation Assessment Questionnaire 253Negotiator’s Toolbox 255Index 257