Meditation For Dummies

Stephan Bodian is an internationally known author, psychotherapist, and teacher. He leads regular intensives and retreats and offers spiritual counseling and mentoring to people throughout the world. His bestselling app Mindfulness Meditation (with Mental Workout) has been praised in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.

• Foreword xviiIntroduction 1About This Book 1Foolish Assumptions 3Icons Used in This Book 3Beyond the Book 4Where to Go from Here 4Part 1: Getting Started With Meditation 5Chapter 1: Embarking on Your Meditation Journey 7Getting an Overview of How the Journey Unfolds 9Different paths up the same mountain 9The view from the summit — and from other peaks along the way 11The taste of pure mountain water 12There’s no place like home — and you’ve already arrived! 13Developing and Directing Awareness: The Key to Meditation 16Building concentration 17Opening to receptive awareness 18Using contemplation for greater insight 19Cultivating positive, healing states of mind 19Making Meditation Your Own 20Designing your own practice 20Troubleshooting the challenges 21Chapter 2: Why Meditate? 23How Life Drives You — to Meditate 24The myth of the perfect life 24When things keep falling apart 25Dealing with the postmodern predicament 27Four popular “solutions” that don’t really work 29How to Survive the 21st Century — with Meditation 30Advanced technology for the mind and heart 31The mind-body benefits of meditation 32A Dozen More Great Reasons to Meditate 35Awakening to the present moment 35Making friends with yourself 35Connecting more deeply with others 35Relaxing the body and calming the mind 36Lightening up! 36Enjoying more happiness 36Experiencing focus and flow 36Feeling more centered, grounded, and balanced 37Enhancing your performance at work and at play 37Increasing appreciation, gratitude, and love 37Aligning with a deeper sense of purpose 37Awakening to a spiritual dimension of being 38Chapter 3: Zen and Now: Where Meditation Comes From 39Making the Indian Connection 41Classical yoga: The path of blissful union 41Early Buddhism: The roots of mindfulness meditation 42Indian tantra: Finding the sacred in the world of the senses 43To the Roof of the World — and Beyond 44Ch’an (Zen): The sound of one hand 44Vajrayana Buddhism: The way of transformation 45From the Middle East to the Rest of the West 46Christian meditation: Practicing contemplative prayer 46Meditation in Judaism: Drawing closer to God 48Meditation among the Sufis: Surrendering to the Divine with every breath 49The Americanization of Meditation 50Transcendentalism and Theosophy (1840–1900) 50Yoga and Zen prepare the soil (1900–1960) 51Meditation reaches Main Street (1960 to the present) 51The Latest Developments in Meditation 53Take two meditations and call me in the morning 53Talking back to Prozac 54Transforming classrooms with mindfulness 55Meditation in the workplace 55Chapter 4: Your Brain on Meditation and How It Impacts Your Life 57Tracing the Origins of Meditation Research 58Wiring up yogis and Zen monks 58Studying TM and the relaxation response 60Measuring the health benefits of meditation 61Assessing the limitations of the early research 62Mapping the Meditative Brain 62Shifting mindfulness to center stage: Jon Kabat-Zinn and MBSR 63Creating a working map of the brain 65Pinpointing the location of positive emotions 65Seeing how meditation changes the brain 66Part 2: Beginning Your Meditation Practice 69Chapter 5: Laying the Foundation: Motivation, Attitude, and Beginner’s Mind 71Beginning (and Ending) with Beginner’s Mind 72Exploring What Motivates You to Meditate 74Improving your life 77Understanding and accepting yourself 77Realizing your true nature 78Awakening others 78Expressing your innate perfection 78Living in Harmony with Your Meditation 79Chapter 6: How Your Mind Stresses You Out and What You Can Do about It 83Taking a Tour of Your Inner Terrain 84Sifting through the layers of inner experience 85Discovering how turbulence clouds your mind and heart 89The Bad News: How Your Mind Stresses You Out 92Preoccupation with past and future 94Resistance to the way things are 94A judging and comparing mind 95Learned helplessness and pessimism 96Overwhelming emotions 96Fixation of attention 97Clinging to a separate self 98The Good News: How Meditation Relieves Suffering and Stress 98Developing focus and concentration 99Allowing spontaneous release 100Penetrating your experience with insight 100Chapter 7: Mindfulness Meditation: Awareness of the Here and Now 105Turning Your Attention Inward 106Relaxing Your Body 108Developing Mindfulness 110Focusing on your breath 110Expanding to sensations 114Welcoming whatever arises 115Training Your Puppy: Reining In Your Wandering Mind 116Chapter 8: Preparing Your Body for Meditation 119Putting a Snake into a Stick of Bamboo — or the Subtle Art of Sitting Still 120How to Sit Up Straight — and Live to Tell About It 121What to do from the waist down — and other fantasies 124Straightening your spine without rigor mortis 128Zafus, benches, and other exotic paraphernalia 131Chapter 9: Where to Sit, What to Wear, and Other Practical Stuff 137What to Wear: Choosing Comfort over Fashion 138When to Meditate: Any Time’s the Right Time 139First thing in the morning 139Before bed 139Right after work 139Lunch hours and coffee breaks 140While waiting for your kids and at other predictable downtimes 141How Long to Meditate: From Quickies to the Long Haul 141What to Eat and Drink — and Avoid — before You Meditate 142Where to Meditate: Creating Sacred Space 143Why it’s best to stay put 144How to pick the right spot 144How to set up an altar — and why you may want to bother 145Chapter 10: Just Doing It: Discipline, Effort, and Letting Go 149Discipline Just Means “Again and Again” 150Making a commitment to yourself — and keeping it 150Being consistent, day after day 151Restraining yourself, both on and off the cushion 152The Right Kind of Effort: Not Too Tight or Too Loose 153Giving your energy 100 percent 154Applying yourself earnestly 154Making an effortless effort 154Knowing How to Let Go and What to Let Go Of 157Suspending judgment 157Accepting 158Letting go 158Unmasking 158Surrendering 159Chapter 11: Opening Your Heart with Love and Compassion 161How Your Heart Closes — and How You Can Open It Again 162Some factors that keep closing your heart 163Some good reasons for keeping it open 164Discovering your “soft spot” 166Love begins with you 167Feeling out the four dimensions of love 168Generating Love for Yourself and Others 169Opening the gates 170Directing the flow 170Transforming Suffering with Compassion 172Some preliminary exercises for generating compassion 173Transforming suffering with the power of the heart 174Part 3: Troubleshooting and Fine-Tuning Your Practice 179Chapter 12: Meditating with Challenging Emotions and Habitual Patterns 181Making Friends with Your Experience 182Embracing your thoughts and feelings 183Naming your experience 183Welcoming whatever arises 184Meditating with Challenging Emotions 185Anger 186Fear and anxiety 187Sadness, grief, and depression 189Unraveling Habitual Patterns with Awareness 190Naming your “tunes” 191Expanding your awareness 191Feeling your feelings 191Noticing your resistance and attachment 191Finding the wisdom 192Getting to the heart of the matter 193Infusing the stuck place with being 194Working with patterns before you get stuck 194Setting Patterns Aside — for Now 195Letting go (or letting be) 195Shifting attention 196Moving the energy 196Acting it out in imagination 196Acting it out in real life — mindfully 197When Meditation May Not Be Right for You Now 199Choosing a Therapist to Help with Your Patterns 200Talk is important, but you need to do more 200Shop around 201Choose the person, not the credentials 201Find a therapist who meditates 201Chapter 13: Troubleshooting Common Roadblocks and Side Effects 203Navigating the Roadblocks on Your Meditative Journey 204Sleepiness 205Restlessness 205Boredom 206Fear 206Doubt 206Procrastination 208Hypervigilance 208Self-judgment 208Attachment and desire 209Pride 210Avoidance 210Bypassing 211Enjoying the Side Effects of Meditation without Getting Sidetracked 211Rapture and bliss 212Visions and other sensory experiences 213Waves of emotion 214Energetic openings 214Chapter 14: Developing a Practice That Works for You 221Fitting the Puzzle Pieces Together 222Know your motivation 223Play to your strengths and fill in the gaps 224Experiment, trust your intuition, and then settle down 225Create a regular practice 225Whenever Two or More of You: Meditating with Others 228Joining or forming a meditation group 228Attending your first workshop or retreat 229Monk for a day: Creating your own solitary retreat 230Part 4: Meditation In Action 233Chapter 15: Cultivating Spirituality 235What Does Spirituality Mean, Anyway? 236The “perennial philosophy”: Where all religions converge 238From faith to fruition: The levels of spiritual involvement 240Dissolving or expanding the self: The point of spiritual practice 241The Path of Devotion: In Search of Union 245Mantra: Invoking the Divine in every moment 247The practice of the presence of God 247Guru yoga: Tibetan devotional practice 248The Path of Insight: Discovering Who You Are 250Expanding your boundaries 251Looking into the nature of mind 253Asking “Who am I?” 254How to Find a Teacher — and Why You May Want to Bother 255Choosing the right kind of teacher 256Why you may need a teacher 257What to look for in a teacher 258How to find a teacher 260Chapter 16: Don’t Worry, Be Happy — with Meditation 263Checking Out the Hallmarks of Genuine Happiness 264Recognizing happiness as your inherent condition 264Experiencing a predominance of positive emotions 266Accepting what life brings 267Being in the flow of life 268Meaning and belonging 268Understanding an integrated definition of happiness 269Studying Up on the Art and Science of Happiness 270Why bother being happy? 270The Buddhist understanding of happiness 271The science of meditation and happiness 271The insights of positive psychology 272Finding True Happiness with Meditation 274Savoring the moment 274Fostering flow 275Developing gratitude 276Learning to forgive 277Cultivating optimism 279Chapter 17: Meditating in Everyday Life 281Being at Peace with Every Step: Extending Meditation in Action 282Coming back to your breath 283Listening to the bell of mindfulness 284Repeating a phrase to help yourself be mindful 285Noticing how situations affect you 287Applying meditation to familiar activities 287The Family That Meditates Together: Partners, Children, and Other Loved Ones 291Meditating with kids 291Meditating with partners and family members 293Meditative lovemaking 293Chapter 18: Using Meditation for Healing and Performance Enhancement 297Meditation Has the Power to Help Heal Your Body, Too 298What healing really means 299Understanding how meditation heals 300Embracing the healing power of imagery 304Exploring five healing meditations 305Meditation Can Enhance Your Performance at Work and Play 312Enjoying past success 314Rehearsing peak performance 315Starting your workday with mindfulness 316Part 5: The Part of Tens 319Chapter 19: Ten Commonly Asked Questions about Meditation 321Will Meditation Make Me Too Relaxed or Spaced Out to Succeed at Work or School? 321How Can I Find the Time to Meditate in My Busy Schedule? 322Can I Meditate in a Chair or Lying Down Instead of Cross-Legged on the Floor? 323What Should I Do about the Restlessness or Discomfort I Experience While Meditating? 323What Should I Do If I Keep Falling Asleep While I Meditate? 324How Do I Know If I’m Meditating the Right Way? 325Can I Meditate While I’m Driving My Car or Sitting at My Computer? 325Do I Have to Give Up My Religious Beliefs to Meditate? 326What Should I Do If My Loved Ones Don’t Support My Meditation Practice? 326Can Meditation Really Improve My Health? 327Chapter 20: Ten Favorite All-Purpose Meditations 329Practicing Relaxation 329Following Your Breath 330Walking Meditation 331Mindful Eating 332Cultivating Lovingkindness 333Softening Your Belly 334Healing with Light 335Grounding into the Earth 336Practicing a Half Smile 337Peaceful Place 337Part 6: Appendixes 339Appendix A: Meditation Resources 341Organizations and Centers 341Secular approaches 342Spiritual approaches 343Websites 347Books 349Appendix B: About the Audio Tracks 353How to Access the Audio Tracks 353What You’ll Find on Dummies.com 353Index 355