Families and Forgiveness

Terry D. Hargrave, PhD, is a professor of marriage and family therapy at Fuller Theological Seminary and is nationally recognized for his pioneering work with intergenerational families. He was selected as a national conference plenary speaker and as a Master’s Series Therapist by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Hargrave has authored numerous professional articles and thirteen books. Nicole E. Zasowski, MS, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the state of Connecticut, where she maintains a private practice. She is also a contributor to several publications, speaks regularly at local seminars, and has served as an adjunct professor at Alliance Theological Seminary in Nyack, NY. Nicole also enjoys writing about faith and life on her personal blog www.nicolezasowski.com.

"We all come from families or have our own; Terry and Nicole remind us all families need forgiveness to survive and thrive. With rich insights and personal honesty, Terry and Nicole call out the best of each of us in our families, tell the truth about the pain of disconnection and abuse, and show us the steps necessary to restore our love and trust. Drawing on clinical research and learned experience, they offer a clear model of how to apply the riches of forgiveness to our own and others' stories. This is a must read for all of us who care about those we love."—Heather Wright, PhD, executive director, Greenwich Center for Hope and Renewal; Presbyterian minister; licensed professional counselor and board certified chaplain; author, Redeeming Eve, Small Group Leadership as Spiritual Direction; co-author, Sacred Stress: A Radically Different Approach to Using Life's Challenges for Positive Change “In this valuable resource, the authors bring tried and true suggestions that assist clients in forgiving those who have harmed them in relationships and desire peace. Through personal stories and explanations, the book provides its readers an easy to follow dialogue that promotes integrity in our clients. Those who read this book may find themselves reviewing their own relationships and gaining new insight for resolution.”—Linda Metcalf, PhD, past president, AAMFT; professor of education, director, Graduate Counseling Programs, Texas Wesleyan University, Fort Worth, TX"The book consistently and successfully demonstartes the framework of forgiveness from the clinical perspective of a therapist. Forgiveness taken out of the religious and spiritual context and placed purely within the paradigm of psychology as part of the process of restoring relationships between victim and victimiser is the scope of this book." - Tulimelli Srinivasa Rao, Leuven

• Preface Section I. The Therapeutic Use of Forgiveness 1. The Roots of Pain 2. The Work of Forgiveness and Rebuilding Love and Trustworthiness Section II. Doing Therapy in the Four Stations of Forgiveness 3. Helping Family Members Forgive One Another 4. The Clinical Application of Insight 5. The Clinical Application of Understanding 6. The Clinical Application of Giving Opportunity for Compensation 7. The Clinical Application of Overt Forgiveness Section III. Clarifying the Work and Answering the Questions 8. Clarifying and Answering the Questions in the Work of Forgiveness References