Talkability

After graduating in London, with degrees in both economics and psychology, James Borg had a successful career in advertising, sales, marketing and journalism. This equipped him well for his current role as a work psychologist, business consultant and trainer in persuasion techniques, interpersonal skills and memory improvement. With his fascination for the human mind from a young age (he was admitted as one of the youngest ever members of The Magic Circle after his demonstration of 'mind-reading' and memory feats) he performed occasionally with a routine known as 'The mind and magic of James Borg'. Tuning in to other people's thoughts - and being aware of our own - is his prescription for success in all aspects of life. He's often invited on BBC radio and was selected as a Harvard Business Review author for May 2009.

• Part One: Talk EssentialsIntroduction: ‘Feel the magic in the making . . .’‘iContact’ or eye contact?‘I know you believe you understand . . .’‘Paralinguistics’ (it’s the ‘melody’ as well as the ‘lyrics’)The ‘rhythm’ of talking and listeningIt’s the ‘beginnings’ and ‘endings’ (the ‘primacy’ and ‘recency’ effect)Part Two: Saying It Right‘I said something wrong’ (‘now I long for . . .’)Turn ‘closed’ questions into ‘open’ onesGossip talkRules of eye contactSmall talk leads to BIG talkTone down the ‘uptalk’‘And every conversation, I can now recall . . .’Mindfulness or ‘mindlessness’?You reveal your true level of interest by the way you listenFight or flight? . . . the ‘amygdala hijack’‘We need to talk’ (warning!)The power of the pause . . . (‘go ahead . . . make my day!’)Is ‘fine’ the new ‘F-word’?Invert your ‘BUT’ (and we’re not talking about a Pilates move!)‘And’ another thing . . . (while we’re on the subject)Interject, don’t interruptAssertion not aggressionI should avoid ‘should’Never say ‘never’ againDon’t ask me ‘WHY’?YOU ought to know better!Put the ‘I’ in feelingCan I make a suggestion . . . ?Don’t tell me about the ‘white bear’‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest wordThe ‘non-apology’ apologyTelephone talkNetworking or ‘notworking’?Exit ‘lines’Mirroring? (‘yeah, yeah, yeah’)Are you a ‘radiator’ or a ‘drain’?Say ‘yes’ to ‘no’Balance honesty with courtesy‘To be honest’ it’s ‘no problem’‘Um’ . . . ‘er’ . . . ‘uh’ . . . target the killer ‘fillers’Hold the jargonThe magical ‘rule of three’‘I’m an extrovert . . . get me in there!’‘I’m an introvert . . . get me out of here!’