In this New York Times bestseller, Jill Bialosky, poet and author, undergoes “a profound and lyrical investigation” (New York magazine) as she attempts to understand the events and emotional state that led her sister to commit suicide and the impact of her death on family and loved ones.

On April 15, 1990, Kim, Jill Bialosky’s younger sister, arrived home from a bar after a fight with her boyfriend. She took her mother’s keys, went into the closed garage, and turned on the ignition. Her body was discovered the next morning by a neighborhood boy.

For decades, Bialosky has grappled with the guilt, questions, and devastation that was unloosed by Kim’s suicide. Now, in this remarkable memoir, she attempts to reconstruct the complex inner life of her sister and in doing so, unlocks the nature of suicide itself and how we are each deeply affected by it.

In the course of trying to understand what drove her sister that night, Bialosky examines some of the most fundamental questions of human nature—why some of us more emotionally stable than others, even when raised in the same circumstances; how the unconscious shape our identities; what the difference is between depression and suicidal feelings; and why we sometimes fail to love and protect one another.

Combining Kim’s own personal writings with family history, medical reportage, literary criticism, and research, Bialosky has crafted “an extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy” (Booklist).

In this New York Times bestseller, Jill Bialosky, poet and author, undergoes “a profound and lyrical investigation” (New York magazine) as she attempts to understand the events and emotional state that led her sister to commit suicide and the impact of her death on family and loved ones.

On April 15, 1990, Kim, Jill Bialosky’s younger sister, arrived home from a bar after a fight with her boyfriend. She took her mother’s keys, went into the closed garage, and turned on the ignition. Her body was discovered the next morning by a neighborhood boy.

For decades, Bialosky has grappled with the guilt, questions, and devastation that was unloosed by Kim’s suicide. Now, in this remarkable memoir, she attempts to reconstruct the complex inner life of her sister and in doing so, unlocks the nature of suicide itself and how we are each deeply affected by it.

In the course of trying to understand what drove her sister that night, Bialosky examines some of the most fundamental questions of human nature—why some of us more emotionally stable than others, even when raised in the same circumstances; how the unconscious shape our identities; what the difference is between depression and suicidal feelings; and why we sometimes fail to love and protect one another.

Combining Kim’s own personal writings with family history, medical reportage, literary criticism, and research, Bialosky has crafted “an extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy” (Booklist).