Loving, Supporting, and Caring for the Cancer Patient

Stan Goldberg, PhD, is Professor Emeritus of Communicative Disorders at San Francisco State University. He is the author of more than two-hundred articles and seven internationally award-winning books, including Lessons for the Living: Stories of Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Courage at the End of Life, which received six national and international awards and was translated into Chinese, Indonesian, and Portuguese. He has lectured in Canada, Taiwan, Costa Rica and throughout the United States. He is a prolific award-winning writer, editorial consultant and recognized expert in the area of cancer support, end-of-life issues, caregiving, chronic illnesses, aging, and change. Goldberg was a bedside volunteer at the internationally renowned Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco for two years until its Guest House closed. He held similar responsibilities for the next six years with Hospice By The Bay, George Mark Children’s House, and Pathways Home Health and Hospice. With more than 300 publications, presentations, workshops, and interviews, he garnered 22 national and international awards for his writing. His website stangoldbergwriter.com contains hundreds of publically available articles on cancer, caregiving, aging, and chronic illnesses.

Goldberg dedicates his book to his granddaughter, saying that he hopes her generation 'will find [it] irrelevant and ask, ‘What was cancer, Grandpa?’' Until then, family members and friends of people diagnosed with the disease can use any of his 270 suggestions and principles for helpful behaviors that go beyond just saying, 'I’m so sorry.'.... [Many] are good reminders, such as supporting a loved one’s decision to stop life-extending treatment. Goldberg, a professor emeritus of communicative disorders at San Francisco State and a prolific author, draws heavily and wisely on his experience as a former hospice volunteer. For example, he notes that people often mistakenly think the need to communicate diminishes as people speak less as they approach death. Actually the reverse is true, he says. 'Silence in the dying is less a sign of not wishing to communicate and more a sign of uncertainty, fear, or regret.' He notes that 'dying is not about you' and advises people to grant forgiveness to loved ones who ask for it. Like his other recommendations, this one seems destined to help family members as well as terminal cancer patients feel better.