I Run, Therefore I Am STILL Nuts!

Bob Schwartz is the author of five books, including the highly successful and hilarious I Run, There I Am—NUTS!, and a freelance writer whose popular articles have been published in over 200 magazines. His humorous essays on running have appeared in more than 40 national and international running magazines and regional magazines, including Runner's World and Running Fitness. Bob's books have been finalists in the humor category of the USA Book News Awards, the ForeWord Book Awards, the Benjamin Franklin Book Awards, and the Independent Publisher Book Awards. Bob has also won the Gold Award from the Parenting Publications of America for his humorous essays on family life. Bob has presented humorous talks at races throughout the United States. Bob lives in Huntington Woods, Michigan, with his wife, Robin, and three children. He graduated from the University of Colorado and received his law degree from the University of Oregon. In addition to his writing, he is the CEO of the Here to Help Foundation (www.heretohelpfoundation.org), which he operates with his wife. Bob raised over $50,000 through an ultramarathon benefiting the Institute of Craniofacial Surgery and Reconstructive Surgery and received the Dove Award from The Arc for implementing a basketball program for people with physical and mental disabilities. Bob also received the Avadenka Award from the State Bar of Michigan for his community service. He founded the Cheetahs Running Club in the Berkley School District of Michigan, for which he was awarded a grant from the Saucony Run for Good Foundation. In the universal language of runners, Bob has PRs of 2:42:13 for the marathon, 34:18 for the 10K, 1:16:08 for the half marathon, and 58 seconds for the third-grade potato sack race. You can reach Bob at bob@runninglaughs.com and enjoy his website and follow his blog at www.runninglaughsblog.com. Also, catch Bob on Facebook at www.facebook.com/runninglaughs and on Twitter at @RunningLaughs for daily humor and running news.

"In his quest to be a better runner, Bob Schwartz has captured the true mindset of the distance runner. In I Run, Therefore I Am—STILL Nuts! Schwartz articulates this with humor."   Jean Knaack-- Executive Director, Road Runners Club of America "A great many runners take their running extremely seriously. Bob Schwartz does, too, but in a seriously funny way."Rich Benyo-- Editor, Marathon & Beyond

• Part I It's All in the Approach to Make Your Runs Beyond ReproachIf it works, then don't nix it Chapter Much Ado About Something Style points can equal mile pointsChapter Watch, What You Say To Me! Flattering words are now coming from the strangest of placesChapter We Could All Use a Little More Common Dense In the words of Fleetwood Mac, sometimes it's best to go your own wayChapter HIIT Me With My Best Shot Better fitness through sheer masochismPart II Who's Running With Me?There's alone in a crowd and there's company while going soloChapter Solitary Refinement So long, solo long!Chapter Look At Me Now Is it conceit to tweet your feats?Chapter Forecast: Partly Cloudy, Good Chance of Pain If you can follow Sparky Anderson's words of wisdom, you're on the way to nirvanaChapter Every Dog Has Its Way You can lead a dog to the trail, but you can't always make him a canine convertPart III Lacing 'Em Up and Laying 'Em DownThere are wins and losses in racing, and a heck of a lot in betweenChapter What Are the Odds That Older and Slower Equals Better? Using your shortcomings to your success in the long runChapter Count Me in on Counting Me Out Other challenges to pencil in after 100-mile races are erased from your to-do listChapter Refraining From Explaining A poor race performance may not seem just, but it needs no justificationChapter Log Me In Do elite runners put on their shorts one leg at a time?Part IV The Road to Injury Is Paved With Foolish IntentionsInjuries come and injuries go, but stubbornness often remainsChapter Runner, Heal Thyself! The path of self-diagnosis begins with a not very bright guinea pig for a patientChapter The Impact Of Nonimpact Can true love be found with a sweat-inducing, cardiac-demanding, quadriceps-exhausting piece of machinery?Chapter Behind Every Comeback Is a Foolhardy Failure Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, runner rehabilitation is in orderChapter Malady Malfeasance There are more than two certainties in lifePart V From the Back of the Pack to the Fleet-Footed Elite, Runners Are Not Run of the MillWhat some call quirks we choose to call talentsChapter If the Shoe Fits, Snare It! Locate another pair of your favorite shoe model that's been discontinued and it's sweet souls almightyChapter Running Is Elementary, My Dear Simplicity is the father of ascensionChapter Do What They Say and Watch the Day Zip Away Operating by the book makes for a long readChapter Gesticulate in Kind To acknowledge or not to acknowledge, that is the questionPart VI The Nonthinking Person's Guide to the Path of Least ResistanceIn the words of the esteemed Yoda, do or do not; there is no try.Chapter Do What You Want to Do Whatever starts your engine and puts a bounce in your stepChapter Giving Yourself the Benefit of No Doubt Sometimes it's best to just stop thinkingChapter More Than a Feeling Take to the sky on a natural highChapter The Time Is Now The times may be changing, but our infatuation with time is constantPart VII The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Nonrunning RunnerWeak in the knees while knee deep in anatomy Chapter Woe Is Knee! Lacking the ability to run a step is the first step to admitting you have a wee bit of a problemChapter The Arms Have It How to survive when those horrific words are spoken to you: "You'll have to be non-weight bearing on your leg for a while."Chapter Scope Me Out It's better to sometimes recognize your limitations than end up prone on the groundPart VIII Jack of No Trades, Master of RunLearning while on the run is all part of the funChapter Lessons Learned, Lessons Spurned The sundry and wacky words of wisdom absorbed from years on the runChapter Who Can Leap Standing Water in a Single Bound? The many peculiar talents of Resourceful Running Man and Running WomanChapter Phoning It In Taking the talk test to a whole new level of communicationChapter Fashionable Fartleks Wick me away!Part IX Enjoying the View on the Competitive DriveKeeping perspective is a good thing, though an elusive thingChapter To Thine Own Self Be You There is more than one path to the top of the mountain; the key is uncovering your itineraryChapter Climb Every Mountain, or at Least a Small Mound Now and Then Sometimes you got to go with the flow and redefine your definition of slowChapter Just Lose, Baby! There is joy in MudvilleChapter Faster-Finishing Counterparts Setting the pace for the race within a racePart X The Legs Have It! Don't Be De-FeetedFiguring out what will keep you on the streets Chapter May the Stick Be With You! The magic wand will woo you in the land of self-massageChapter Not Fully Baring My Sole Less is more in more ways than oneChapter The Rhythm of the Run As Martha and the Vandellas sang, there will be dancing in the streetChapter Getting the Bends for Bending Can a runner with the flexibility of concrete and a limited attention span survive in the world of yoga?Part XI Behind Every Nuts Runner Are Often Very Accepting NonrunnersThe family of a runner knows the difference between RICE and DOMSChapter For Better or for Worse A union of soles and soulsChapter Over Hill, Over Dale, and I'm Pale I wonder if there's an extra entry fee for the mud bathChapter Have Shoes, Will Travel Can a runner and a nonrunner find and maintain marital bliss on the open road of race-destination vacations?