Heaven or Hell? It'S Your Choice

I had been a nurse for more than 2 decades and I witnessed 2 definite situations in the hospital or in the community either to recover or die. In this kind of situation I noticed various emotional and behavioral displays. For people who recovers it is a celebration of life but for a dying person, fear, struggles, anxiety, screaming, yelling for help sets in and the joy, rest, peace with great expectations begun to marvel. Why?I was 9 years old sickly, frail and scared of death wanting to go to heaven but I dont know how? I recovered and I was glad but still with a big question how will I go to heaven? I was clueless.While I was still a nursing student assigned in a hospital, I heard someone screaming loudly, I dont want to go. I saw a big muscled man struggling and fighting with no one around. Few hours later I discovered that he died of internal bleeding with wide open eyes and mouth. A sign of struggle? Why?