Calm Parents, Happy Siblings

Dr Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist, parenting coach and mother of two children. She has helped thousands of families worldwide with her relationship-based model of parenting. For more information visit www.ahaparenting.com

• 1: Introduction 1: If You’re Welcoming a New Baby 2: If Your Children Are Constantly Fighting 1: CALM PARENTING 1: How You Can Be a Calm Parent 1: The Parenting Skills That Help You Become Calmer as a Parent 2: How Calm Discipline Supports the Sibling Relationship 1: Why Punishment and Permissiveness Cause More Sibling Fighting 2: Rethinking Discipline 3: Rethinking Time-outs 4: Rethinking Rewards 5: The Difference Between Consequences and Limits 6: What If Empathy Doesn’t Work? 7: Preventive Maintenance 8: When Your Child Is Acting Out: Time-in 9: Helping Kids with Big Emotions: Scheduled Meltdowns 10: How to Help Each Child with Big Emotions When You Have More Than One Upset Child 3: What Causes Sibling Rivalry – And How Parents Can Make It Better 1: Your Child’s Point of View: That’s Not a Friend, It’s a Replacement 2: Factors That Can Exacerbate Rivalry 3: The Power of Parents to Foster a Super Sibling Relationship 2: PART TWO: TEACHING CALM 4: Coaching Kids to Communicate Feelings and Problem-solve 1: Coaching Essential Emotional Intelligence Skills 2: Your New Role: Interpreter 3: Coaching Kids to Identify and Communicate Their Needs and Feelings 4: Coaching Kids to Set Limits with Each Other 5: Coaching Kids to Listen to Each Other 6: Coaching Kids to Problem-solve 7: Basic Negotiation Tools to Teach Kids 5: When Problem-solving Fails: Teaching Conflict Resolution 1: What About ‘We Get Along’ Shirts? 2: Why Fighting Is Essential to Teach Children Relationship Skills 3: How to Help Children Learn to Work It Out Themselves 4: Empowering Kids to Stand Up to Teasing 5: Mean Words 6: When Your Child Says He Hates His Sibling 7: Intervening in a Sibling Fight: The Basics 8: Should You Punish Your Child for Aggression? 9: When Your Toddler Is the Aggressor Against Your Older Child 10: Coaching Kids to Handle Aggression from Younger Siblings 11: How to Stop Repeated Aggression 12: Teaching Skills: Intervening in a Sibling Fight 13: Helping Kids Make Repairs After a Fight, Instead of Forced Apologies 6: Why Can’t They Just Share? Why Kids Fight Over Possessions 1: Rethinking Sharing: A Radical Solution 2: Self-regulated Turns: What Children Learn 3: Coaching Kids as They Wait for Their Turn 7: Easing the Competition 1: ‘It’s Not Fair!’ 2: Never Compare 3: Resist Labelling 4: How to Celebrate Each Child Without Fuelling Competition 5: Who Gets to Push the Lift Button? 6: How to Ensure You Don’t Unwittingly Foster Competition 7: Helping Kids with Competitive Feelings 8: Birth Order and Competition 9: What If You Prefer One Child? 8: Tools to Prevent Rivalry and Nurture Bonding 1: Expect Your Children to Value Each Other 2: Family Routines That Foster Sibling Bonding 3: Family Rules and Mottos That Support Sibling Closeness 4: How to Create More Positive Interactions Between Your Children 5: Strategies to Create a Sibling Team 6: Shifting Alliances: How to Keep Kids from Ganging Up on Each Other 7: Why Rough and Tumble Reduces Sibling Rivalry 8: Why Not Tickling? 9: When Kids Share a Room 10: When One Child Has a Friend Over 11: Family Meetings: The Resource You’ll Be So Glad You Discovered 3: PART THREE: BEFORE THE NEW BABY AND THROUGH THE FIRST YEAR 9: Before the Baby Arrives: Creating a Warm Welcome 1: Telling Your Child About the New Sibling 2: Twelve Ways to Help Your Kids Begin Bonding 3: During Your Pregnancy 4: Be Sure Your Child Can Rely on Both Parents 5: Ten Tips to Support Your Child Emotionally as He Moves Towards Becoming a Big Sibling 6: Weaning Versus Tandem Nursing 7: Preparing Your Child for the Separation During the Upcoming Birth 8: If You’re Planning to Have Your Child at the Birth 9: Creating a Transition Book for Your Child 10: Making an Activity Box for Your Child 11: Work Through Your Own Emotions About Having a Second Child 12: Loving Each Child Best 10: Getting Off to a Good Start: Birth and the First Few Months 1: Introducing Your Child to the New Baby 2: The First Week: Settling In as a Family 3: How to Keep Your Child Occupied While You Feed the Baby 4: Helping Your Child with Her Mixed Emotions About the Baby 5: What About Those Overzealous Hugs? 6: Regression: When Your Child Goes Backwards 7: Managing Naptime and Bedtime with More Than One Child 8: The Early Months: The New Normal 9: When Your Child Has a Hard Time Adjusting 10: Daily Practices to Stay Connected to Your Child Now That He Has to Share You 11: Using Games to Help Your Child with Jealousy 12: Reading Books to Your Child About Becoming a Big Sib 13: Nine Tips to Foster a Great Relationship Between Your Children Right from the Start 11: Building a Positive Foundation When the Baby Begins to Crawl 1: Ten Tips to Maintain a Peaceful Home as Baby Moves Towards Toddlerhood 2: Dividing Your Time 3: How to Help Your Older Child Solve His Problems with the Little One 4: What to Say When Your Child Is Jealous of the Baby 5: What to Do About Toy Grabbing 6: When Your Child Is Aggressive Towards the Baby 7: What If the Aggressor Is Too Young to Understand? 8: What If It’s the Baby Who’s Aggressive? 9: Games to Help Your Children Bond with the Baby 12: Final Note: Choose Love 13: Acknowledgements 14: Notes 15: Index