Xanet Pailet is a recovered New York City health care lawyer who lived in a sexless marriage for over two decades. After experiencing her own sexual healing and awakening in 2011, she transitioned her career into a full time sex and intimacy coach, writer, blogger, and teacher. She works with individuals and couples to empower them around their sexuality and strengthen relationship and intimacy skills. Xanet is particularly passionate about working with women, men and couples who are sexually disconnected. Through her work, and the many tools that she offers, she helps them reclaim their pleasure and transform their relationships and their lives.Xanet is a certified Somatica Sex and Intimacy Coach, Sexological Body Worker, Holistic Pelvic Care Practitioner, and Tantra Educator. She is on the faculty of the Ecstatic Living Institute and the Somatica Institute and teaches regularly at Good Vibrations in San Francisco. She offers 1:1 coaching via Skype or in person in the Bay Area. She also offers online group coaching programs and speaks regularly at national and local conferences and events. She lives in beautiful and serene Marin County, CA. Connect with Xanet at www.powerofpleasure.com. Dr. Emily Morse has been voted the #1 dating & sex expert to follow on Twitter by Esquire & Stylecaster. Her Podcast: Sex with Emily, is downloaded over a million times every month. Morse is now a sex talk pioneer of one of the most successful brands in the field of sexual health — leading the charge in modern day sex education, turning it on it’s heels in ways no one has ever before.Emily served as co-host of the famed Loveline radio show featuring Dr. Drew Pinsky, made appearances on national programs like The Today Show and The Doctors and even starred in a Bravo series about sex and relationships experts finding love called Miss Advised.

• IntroductionPART ONE: Healing yourself from Shame, Sexual Abuse and Physical TraumaChapter 1: A Night of Goddess Worship Can Change Your LifeChapter 2: Living a Life of LiesAppearances Can Be DeceivingThe Widening DivideWhat Happened to Us?We were doomed from the startFinding a Home in Your BodyChapter 3: Women are Programmed to Say “No” to SexAn Oversexed, Sex-Starved CultureSexless Marriage vs Upsetting the Apple CartWhere Did my Libido Go?“Keep your legs shut!”Good Girl Madonna, Bad Girl WhoreThe more we have sex, the more we want sex (Good sex begets more good sex)Chapter 4: Shame: The Nastiest Five-Letter Word in the UniverseThe Shame/Pleasure ParadoxAncient Cultures Were Sex-PositiveShame and Your Sexual BlueprintJessica’s Story: Body ShameJeff’s Story: Delayed Ejaculation ShameSexual Blueprint ExerciseTim’s Story: Shame from Inappropriate AttractionAnya’s Story: Sexually Repressed ShameBob’s Story: Shame Around Experiencing DesireMasturbation and ShameDelia’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Disassociation from PleasureKeith’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Early EjaculationBody Shame: A Generalized, Cultural DisorderExercise: Body TalkToo Big, Too Small: Sex Organ ShameJim’s Story: Cock Size ShamePussy ShameAnnie’s Story: My Vagina is Normal!Sexual FetishismRalph’s Story: Cross Dressing and Submissive ShameChapter 5: Sexual Abuse and TraumaOvert and Covert AbusePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderImpact on SexualityAnne’s Story: Unresolved Trauma causing VaginismusRepression of MemoriesTrauma and Self-Protection MechanismsDarla’s Story: Trauma and DisassociationTonya’s Story: Trauma and Over-StimulationEllen’s Story: Slaying the TigerDownstream Effects of AbuseLilly’s Story: Trauma and Fear of IntimacyCecilia’s Story: Trauma and Self-Abusive BehaviorMen and Sexual TraumaDavid’s Story: Recreating Abusive RelationshipsWorking with Sexual TraumaJessie and Mark’s Story: Resolving Trauma and Reclaiming their Sex LifeChapter 6: The Body Remembers: Trauma & Physical ImprintingTrauma and Physical ImprintingBody MemoryPhysical Trauma’s Impact on SexualityHeal the Body, Heal the MindReleasing Trapped Pain from TraumaRaina’s Story: Trauma from a Routine Gynecological ExamHolistic Pelvic CareCarrie’s Story: Healing Trauma from ChildbirthJane’s Story: Weaning Herself Off a Vibrator by Rewiring Physical PatternsExercise: Awakening New Pleasure PathwaysIngrid and Mark’s Story: Activating New Pleasure PathwaysChapter 7: Blocks to IntimacyAttachment Theory (“It really is all your mother’s fault”)Secure AttachmentAnxious AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentAnxious Avoidant AttachmentOther Influences on AttachmentThe Influence of Attachment Style in Adult RelationshipsVictor’s Story: Perpetually in the Friend ZoneEmotional Detachment (Why Crying is So Good for You)Intimacy Requires an Emotional ConnectionLisa’s Story: Learning How to Let Others Care for HerTristan’s Story: Dealing with a Broken HeartCaryn’s Story: Confusing Sex with LovePART TWO: Awakening Your PleasureChapter 8: Beginning the Journey of Sexual Healing & AwakeningFour Guiding Principles to Transform your Sex LifeSelf-Awareness and CourageExercise: Visioning LetterUnderstanding and Banishing Sexual ShameAccepting and Loving Your BodyExercise: Create Your Vagina TimelineBethany’s Story: My Period Betrayed MeJulia’s Story: Where Did My Beautiful Body Go?Laina’s Story: Menopause MadnessEmbodiment—The Place to BeginChapter 9: Coming home to My Body and Welcoming PleasureWelcoming PleasureThe Road to Becoming a Sex and Intimacy CoachSexological BodyworkSkyDancing Tantra Teacher TrainingSomatica: The Glue that Holds it All TogetherChapter 10: So What is Tantra Anyway?Origins of TantraThe Emergence of SkyDancing TantraExercise: The Yoni TalkChakras and Sexual AwakeningExercise: Subtle EnergyPrinciples of TantraExercise: Chakra SoundingChapter 11: How to Reignite Your Shrinking LibidoDesire and Your HormonesDesire and Your Internal LandscapeExercise: Sacred Space Ritual: A Partner PracticeVanilla Sex Can Kill Your LibidoKaren’s Story: Boring SexDesire and Your External LandscapeExercise: Peak Sexual Experience SurveyKnowing What You WantWho Initiates Sex?Understand Your Sexual StyleWhen Sexual Styles ConflictAnne and Jeremy’s Story: Conflicting Sexual StylesSwitching it Up: Sexual Styles Aren’t StaticCore Erotic ThemeExercise: Identifying Your Hottest Sexual MovieChapter 12: Great Sex is about PolarityWhy Opposites AttractFantasy and Cultural TaboosCollette and Liam’s Story: Creating Sexual Polarity through Role-PlaySexual Polarity is Upside Down in our SocietyAndrea’s Story: Finding Her Feminine SelfExercise: Fun Ways to Find Your SexyMasculinity and Male SexualityPaul’s Story: Permission to Feel DesireGenevieve and Carl’s Story: Learning to Surrender into DominanceChapter 13: Realizing Your Pleasure PotentialSlow Things DownGet Out of Your Head and Into Your BodyThe Ins and Outs of OrgasmThe Power of TouchThe Three Minute GameExercise: Touching for Your Own PleasureYou are Responsible for Your ArousalLearning What You WantExercise: Self-Loving PracticeOrgasms Don’t Just Happen in Your GenitalsAnal PleasureChapter 14: Living an Orgasmic LifeSex is a Basic Human Need like Food and ShelterA Sexual Woman is a Creative WomanSex TransmutationQuantum Physics and SexExercise: Feed Your CreativityThe Process of TransformationNora’s Story: Making a Career ChangeIntuition: The Greatest Gift of AllExercise: Cultivating Your Intuition by Learning Your “Yes” and “No”Lara’s Story: Making a Life Changing Decision to be a Single MomBrant’s Story: When Sex and Creativity Flows, So Does the MoneyDarleen’s Story: Reinventing Oneself in Her 60sYour Story Next

Xanet Pailet is a recovered New York City health care lawyer who lived in a sexless marriage for over two decades. After experiencing her own sexual healing and awakening in 2011, she transitioned her career into a full time sex and intimacy coach, writer, blogger, and teacher. She works with individuals and couples to empower them around their sexuality and strengthen relationship and intimacy skills. Xanet is particularly passionate about working with women, men and couples who are sexually disconnected. Through her work, and the many tools that she offers, she helps them reclaim their pleasure and transform their relationships and their lives.Xanet is a certified Somatica Sex and Intimacy Coach, Sexological Body Worker, Holistic Pelvic Care Practitioner, and Tantra Educator. She is on the faculty of the Ecstatic Living Institute and the Somatica Institute and teaches regularly at Good Vibrations in San Francisco. She offers 1:1 coaching via Skype or in person in the Bay Area. She also offers online group coaching programs and speaks regularly at national and local conferences and events. She lives in beautiful and serene Marin County, CA. Connect with Xanet at www.powerofpleasure.com. Dr. Emily Morse has been voted the #1 dating & sex expert to follow on Twitter by Esquire & Stylecaster. Her Podcast: Sex with Emily, is downloaded over a million times every month. Morse is now a sex talk pioneer of one of the most successful brands in the field of sexual health — leading the charge in modern day sex education, turning it on it’s heels in ways no one has ever before.Emily served as co-host of the famed Loveline radio show featuring Dr. Drew Pinsky, made appearances on national programs like The Today Show and The Doctors and even starred in a Bravo series about sex and relationships experts finding love called Miss Advised.

• IntroductionPART ONE: Healing yourself from Shame, Sexual Abuse and Physical TraumaChapter 1: A Night of Goddess Worship Can Change Your LifeChapter 2: Living a Life of LiesAppearances Can Be DeceivingThe Widening DivideWhat Happened to Us?We were doomed from the startFinding a Home in Your BodyChapter 3: Women are Programmed to Say “No” to SexAn Oversexed, Sex-Starved CultureSexless Marriage vs Upsetting the Apple CartWhere Did my Libido Go?“Keep your legs shut!”Good Girl Madonna, Bad Girl WhoreThe more we have sex, the more we want sex (Good sex begets more good sex)Chapter 4: Shame: The Nastiest Five-Letter Word in the UniverseThe Shame/Pleasure ParadoxAncient Cultures Were Sex-PositiveShame and Your Sexual BlueprintJessica’s Story: Body ShameJeff’s Story: Delayed Ejaculation ShameSexual Blueprint ExerciseTim’s Story: Shame from Inappropriate AttractionAnya’s Story: Sexually Repressed ShameBob’s Story: Shame Around Experiencing DesireMasturbation and ShameDelia’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Disassociation from PleasureKeith’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Early EjaculationBody Shame: A Generalized, Cultural DisorderExercise: Body TalkToo Big, Too Small: Sex Organ ShameJim’s Story: Cock Size ShamePussy ShameAnnie’s Story: My Vagina is Normal!Sexual FetishismRalph’s Story: Cross Dressing and Submissive ShameChapter 5: Sexual Abuse and TraumaOvert and Covert AbusePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderImpact on SexualityAnne’s Story: Unresolved Trauma causing VaginismusRepression of MemoriesTrauma and Self-Protection MechanismsDarla’s Story: Trauma and DisassociationTonya’s Story: Trauma and Over-StimulationEllen’s Story: Slaying the TigerDownstream Effects of AbuseLilly’s Story: Trauma and Fear of IntimacyCecilia’s Story: Trauma and Self-Abusive BehaviorMen and Sexual TraumaDavid’s Story: Recreating Abusive RelationshipsWorking with Sexual TraumaJessie and Mark’s Story: Resolving Trauma and Reclaiming their Sex LifeChapter 6: The Body Remembers: Trauma & Physical ImprintingTrauma and Physical ImprintingBody MemoryPhysical Trauma’s Impact on SexualityHeal the Body, Heal the MindReleasing Trapped Pain from TraumaRaina’s Story: Trauma from a Routine Gynecological ExamHolistic Pelvic CareCarrie’s Story: Healing Trauma from ChildbirthJane’s Story: Weaning Herself Off a Vibrator by Rewiring Physical PatternsExercise: Awakening New Pleasure PathwaysIngrid and Mark’s Story: Activating New Pleasure PathwaysChapter 7: Blocks to IntimacyAttachment Theory (“It really is all your mother’s fault”)Secure AttachmentAnxious AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentAnxious Avoidant AttachmentOther Influences on AttachmentThe Influence of Attachment Style in Adult RelationshipsVictor’s Story: Perpetually in the Friend ZoneEmotional Detachment (Why Crying is So Good for You)Intimacy Requires an Emotional ConnectionLisa’s Story: Learning How to Let Others Care for HerTristan’s Story: Dealing with a Broken HeartCaryn’s Story: Confusing Sex with LovePART TWO: Awakening Your PleasureChapter 8: Beginning the Journey of Sexual Healing & AwakeningFour Guiding Principles to Transform your Sex LifeSelf-Awareness and CourageExercise: Visioning LetterUnderstanding and Banishing Sexual ShameAccepting and Loving Your BodyExercise: Create Your Vagina TimelineBethany’s Story: My Period Betrayed MeJulia’s Story: Where Did My Beautiful Body Go?Laina’s Story: Menopause MadnessEmbodiment—The Place to BeginChapter 9: Coming home to My Body and Welcoming PleasureWelcoming PleasureThe Road to Becoming a Sex and Intimacy CoachSexological BodyworkSkyDancing Tantra Teacher TrainingSomatica: The Glue that Holds it All TogetherChapter 10: So What is Tantra Anyway?Origins of TantraThe Emergence of SkyDancing TantraExercise: The Yoni TalkChakras and Sexual AwakeningExercise: Subtle EnergyPrinciples of TantraExercise: Chakra SoundingChapter 11: How to Reignite Your Shrinking LibidoDesire and Your HormonesDesire and Your Internal LandscapeExercise: Sacred Space Ritual: A Partner PracticeVanilla Sex Can Kill Your LibidoKaren’s Story: Boring SexDesire and Your External LandscapeExercise: Peak Sexual Experience SurveyKnowing What You WantWho Initiates Sex?Understand Your Sexual StyleWhen Sexual Styles ConflictAnne and Jeremy’s Story: Conflicting Sexual StylesSwitching it Up: Sexual Styles Aren’t StaticCore Erotic ThemeExercise: Identifying Your Hottest Sexual MovieChapter 12: Great Sex is about PolarityWhy Opposites AttractFantasy and Cultural TaboosCollette and Liam’s Story: Creating Sexual Polarity through Role-PlaySexual Polarity is Upside Down in our SocietyAndrea’s Story: Finding Her Feminine SelfExercise: Fun Ways to Find Your SexyMasculinity and Male SexualityPaul’s Story: Permission to Feel DesireGenevieve and Carl’s Story: Learning to Surrender into DominanceChapter 13: Realizing Your Pleasure PotentialSlow Things DownGet Out of Your Head and Into Your BodyThe Ins and Outs of OrgasmThe Power of TouchThe Three Minute GameExercise: Touching for Your Own PleasureYou are Responsible for Your ArousalLearning What You WantExercise: Self-Loving PracticeOrgasms Don’t Just Happen in Your GenitalsAnal PleasureChapter 14: Living an Orgasmic LifeSex is a Basic Human Need like Food and ShelterA Sexual Woman is a Creative WomanSex TransmutationQuantum Physics and SexExercise: Feed Your CreativityThe Process of TransformationNora’s Story: Making a Career ChangeIntuition: The Greatest Gift of AllExercise: Cultivating Your Intuition by Learning Your “Yes” and “No”Lara’s Story: Making a Life Changing Decision to be a Single MomBrant’s Story: When Sex and Creativity Flows, So Does the MoneyDarleen’s Story: Reinventing Oneself in Her 60sYour Story Next

Xanet Pailet is a recovered New York City health care lawyer who lived in a sexless marriage for over two decades. After experiencing her own sexual healing and awakening in 2011, she transitioned her career into a full time sex and intimacy coach, writer, blogger, and teacher. She works with individuals and couples to empower them around their sexuality and strengthen relationship and intimacy skills. Xanet is particularly passionate about working with women, men and couples who are sexually disconnected. Through her work, and the many tools that she offers, she helps them reclaim their pleasure and transform their relationships and their lives.Xanet is a certified Somatica Sex and Intimacy Coach, Sexological Body Worker, Holistic Pelvic Care Practitioner, and Tantra Educator. She is on the faculty of the Ecstatic Living Institute and the Somatica Institute and teaches regularly at Good Vibrations in San Francisco. She offers 1:1 coaching via Skype or in person in the Bay Area. She also offers online group coaching programs and speaks regularly at national and local conferences and events. She lives in beautiful and serene Marin County, CA. Connect with Xanet at www.powerofpleasure.com. Dr. Emily Morse has been voted the #1 dating & sex expert to follow on Twitter by Esquire & Stylecaster. Her Podcast: Sex with Emily, is downloaded over a million times every month. Morse is now a sex talk pioneer of one of the most successful brands in the field of sexual health — leading the charge in modern day sex education, turning it on it’s heels in ways no one has ever before.Emily served as co-host of the famed Loveline radio show featuring Dr. Drew Pinsky, made appearances on national programs like The Today Show and The Doctors and even starred in a Bravo series about sex and relationships experts finding love called Miss Advised.

• IntroductionPART ONE: Healing yourself from Shame, Sexual Abuse and Physical TraumaChapter 1: A Night of Goddess Worship Can Change Your LifeChapter 2: Living a Life of LiesAppearances Can Be DeceivingThe Widening DivideWhat Happened to Us?We were doomed from the startFinding a Home in Your BodyChapter 3: Women are Programmed to Say “No” to SexAn Oversexed, Sex-Starved CultureSexless Marriage vs Upsetting the Apple CartWhere Did my Libido Go?“Keep your legs shut!”Good Girl Madonna, Bad Girl WhoreThe more we have sex, the more we want sex (Good sex begets more good sex)Chapter 4: Shame: The Nastiest Five-Letter Word in the UniverseThe Shame/Pleasure ParadoxAncient Cultures Were Sex-PositiveShame and Your Sexual BlueprintJessica’s Story: Body ShameJeff’s Story: Delayed Ejaculation ShameSexual Blueprint ExerciseTim’s Story: Shame from Inappropriate AttractionAnya’s Story: Sexually Repressed ShameBob’s Story: Shame Around Experiencing DesireMasturbation and ShameDelia’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Disassociation from PleasureKeith’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Early EjaculationBody Shame: A Generalized, Cultural DisorderExercise: Body TalkToo Big, Too Small: Sex Organ ShameJim’s Story: Cock Size ShamePussy ShameAnnie’s Story: My Vagina is Normal!Sexual FetishismRalph’s Story: Cross Dressing and Submissive ShameChapter 5: Sexual Abuse and TraumaOvert and Covert AbusePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderImpact on SexualityAnne’s Story: Unresolved Trauma causing VaginismusRepression of MemoriesTrauma and Self-Protection MechanismsDarla’s Story: Trauma and DisassociationTonya’s Story: Trauma and Over-StimulationEllen’s Story: Slaying the TigerDownstream Effects of AbuseLilly’s Story: Trauma and Fear of IntimacyCecilia’s Story: Trauma and Self-Abusive BehaviorMen and Sexual TraumaDavid’s Story: Recreating Abusive RelationshipsWorking with Sexual TraumaJessie and Mark’s Story: Resolving Trauma and Reclaiming their Sex LifeChapter 6: The Body Remembers: Trauma & Physical ImprintingTrauma and Physical ImprintingBody MemoryPhysical Trauma’s Impact on SexualityHeal the Body, Heal the MindReleasing Trapped Pain from TraumaRaina’s Story: Trauma from a Routine Gynecological ExamHolistic Pelvic CareCarrie’s Story: Healing Trauma from ChildbirthJane’s Story: Weaning Herself Off a Vibrator by Rewiring Physical PatternsExercise: Awakening New Pleasure PathwaysIngrid and Mark’s Story: Activating New Pleasure PathwaysChapter 7: Blocks to IntimacyAttachment Theory (“It really is all your mother’s fault”)Secure AttachmentAnxious AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentAnxious Avoidant AttachmentOther Influences on AttachmentThe Influence of Attachment Style in Adult RelationshipsVictor’s Story: Perpetually in the Friend ZoneEmotional Detachment (Why Crying is So Good for You)Intimacy Requires an Emotional ConnectionLisa’s Story: Learning How to Let Others Care for HerTristan’s Story: Dealing with a Broken HeartCaryn’s Story: Confusing Sex with LovePART TWO: Awakening Your PleasureChapter 8: Beginning the Journey of Sexual Healing & AwakeningFour Guiding Principles to Transform your Sex LifeSelf-Awareness and CourageExercise: Visioning LetterUnderstanding and Banishing Sexual ShameAccepting and Loving Your BodyExercise: Create Your Vagina TimelineBethany’s Story: My Period Betrayed MeJulia’s Story: Where Did My Beautiful Body Go?Laina’s Story: Menopause MadnessEmbodiment—The Place to BeginChapter 9: Coming home to My Body and Welcoming PleasureWelcoming PleasureThe Road to Becoming a Sex and Intimacy CoachSexological BodyworkSkyDancing Tantra Teacher TrainingSomatica: The Glue that Holds it All TogetherChapter 10: So What is Tantra Anyway?Origins of TantraThe Emergence of SkyDancing TantraExercise: The Yoni TalkChakras and Sexual AwakeningExercise: Subtle EnergyPrinciples of TantraExercise: Chakra SoundingChapter 11: How to Reignite Your Shrinking LibidoDesire and Your HormonesDesire and Your Internal LandscapeExercise: Sacred Space Ritual: A Partner PracticeVanilla Sex Can Kill Your LibidoKaren’s Story: Boring SexDesire and Your External LandscapeExercise: Peak Sexual Experience SurveyKnowing What You WantWho Initiates Sex?Understand Your Sexual StyleWhen Sexual Styles ConflictAnne and Jeremy’s Story: Conflicting Sexual StylesSwitching it Up: Sexual Styles Aren’t StaticCore Erotic ThemeExercise: Identifying Your Hottest Sexual MovieChapter 12: Great Sex is about PolarityWhy Opposites AttractFantasy and Cultural TaboosCollette and Liam’s Story: Creating Sexual Polarity through Role-PlaySexual Polarity is Upside Down in our SocietyAndrea’s Story: Finding Her Feminine SelfExercise: Fun Ways to Find Your SexyMasculinity and Male SexualityPaul’s Story: Permission to Feel DesireGenevieve and Carl’s Story: Learning to Surrender into DominanceChapter 13: Realizing Your Pleasure PotentialSlow Things DownGet Out of Your Head and Into Your BodyThe Ins and Outs of OrgasmThe Power of TouchThe Three Minute GameExercise: Touching for Your Own PleasureYou are Responsible for Your ArousalLearning What You WantExercise: Self-Loving PracticeOrgasms Don’t Just Happen in Your GenitalsAnal PleasureChapter 14: Living an Orgasmic LifeSex is a Basic Human Need like Food and ShelterA Sexual Woman is a Creative WomanSex TransmutationQuantum Physics and SexExercise: Feed Your CreativityThe Process of TransformationNora’s Story: Making a Career ChangeIntuition: The Greatest Gift of AllExercise: Cultivating Your Intuition by Learning Your “Yes” and “No”Lara’s Story: Making a Life Changing Decision to be a Single MomBrant’s Story: When Sex and Creativity Flows, So Does the MoneyDarleen’s Story: Reinventing Oneself in Her 60sYour Story Next