Ahmad Saber – författare

“An ode to the courage it takes to live with authenticity.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) An intensely brave, beautifully honest, and wryly funny story about a gay Muslim teen who has to choose between being true to himself or his faith—and his realization that maybe they aren’t as separate as he thought.Ramin Abbas has spent his whole life obeying his parents, his Imam, and, of course, Allah—no questions asked. But when he starts crushing on the ridiculously handsome captain of the soccer team, so many things he’d always been so sure about are becoming questions: 1. Music is haram. But what if the Wicked soundtrack is the only thing keeping you sane because you’re being forced to play on the soccer team? With Captain Handsome?! 2. A boy crush is double haram, and Ramin’s parents will never accept it. But can he really be the only Muslim on Earth who feels this way? 3. Allah is merciful and makes no mistakes. Then isn’t Ramin just the way Allah intended him to be? And so why should living your truth but losing everything—or living a lie and losing yourself—have to be a choice?!

For the first printing only! This paperback features sprayed stenciled edges while the special edition supply lasts.“An ode to the courage it takes to live with authenticity.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) A “sparkling…ambitious, thoughtful, and funny” (Teen Vogue) debut novel about a gay Muslim teen who has to choose between being true to himself or his faith—and his realization that maybe they aren’t as separate as he thought.Ramin Abbas has spent his whole life obeying his parents, his Imam, and, of course, Allah—no questions asked. But when he starts crushing on the ridiculously handsome captain of the soccer team, so many things he’d always been so sure about are becoming questions: 1. Music is haram. But what if the Wicked soundtrack is the only thing keeping you sane because you’re being forced to play on the soccer team? With Captain Handsome?! 2. A boy crush is double haram, and Ramin’s parents will never accept it. But can he really be the only Muslim on Earth who feels this way? 3. Allah is merciful and makes no mistakes. Then isn’t Ramin just the way Allah intended him to be? And so why should living your truth but losing everything—or living a lie and losing yourself—have to be a choice?!

An intensely brave, gorgeously written story about a gay Muslim teen who has to choose between being true to himself or his faith—and his realization that maybe they aren’t as separate as he thought.Now a senior at the top-ranked high school for Muslim teenagers, Pakistani Canadian Ramin can’t wait for the fresh start of college. He’s spent his whole life following the word of Allah, his parents, and his imam. His parents immigrated from Pakistan, sacrificing everything for him and his little brother, and expect Ramin to be halal in all things, meet a nice Muslim girl, and settle into devout family life. However, Ramin’s heart wishes for something—or someone—else: the strong, athletic captain of the soccer team. But at school, being gay is definitely haram, not allowed, so Ramin limits himself to dreams of moving away to New York City. Then Ramin learns his graduation is in jeopardy, and the only chance he’s given to get the needed physical education credits quickly is to join the school’s soccer team…and train one-on-one with Fahad, a.k.a. Captain Handsome. It’s a nightmare of temptation and resistance, compounded by threats from a longtime bully who is blackmailing Ramin, threatening to reveal a secret that could ruin him. Ramin’s only ray of light is Omar, a sweet and caring new friend whose family believes in a different, kinder Allah. He gently prods Ramin to consider his faith more deeply, challenging Ramin’s long held belief of Allah as merciless and unforgiving by introducing him to one who is instead merciful and loving. With graduation, a championship soccer match, and the blackmail looming, the pressure on Ramin is too much to keep buried. He must decide between the consequences of speaking his truth and living a lie. He must decide which Allah lives in the little mosque in his heart.