Benjamin D. Garber – författare

We can only hold our children close so long. We must let them go slowly, one step at a time, allowing them to build identity and self-esteem, confidence and competence. We must take off the training wheels at some point and let them go, even though we know that they'll fall and skin a knee. But how can we let them go safely in a world filled with fear and danger?Holding Tight/Letting Go is the necessary and natural push-pull dynamic that must play out between every parent and child from birth through death. It's the ambivalence that we experience, torn between keeping our children safe and encouraging their independence. It's the dilemma that we all face knowing that we let our children go into a world filled with internet predators and school shootings, toxins and addictions and crimeHolding Tight/Letting Go is your resource for healthy parenting in the twenty-first century. This is the story of how identity emerges in the context of relationships, from birth through death, from Facebook to Twitter, and beyond. When should I say no? When should I push him to try something new? Should I let him have a phone? Should I monitor his social media? What does "e;privacy"e; mean when there is none? Holding Tight-Letting Go tackles these and the hundreds of similar questions that fill every parent's thoughts and fuel every parent's nightmares. Holding Tight/Letting Go is more. It speaks to each of us about who we are and how we make relationships as parents , as adults, and as children ourselves. How we hold our partners and our own parents tight and how we must eventually, inevitably, let them go, as well. Holding Tight/Letting Go speaks to each of us as human beings trying to understand self in these times of terror and technology.

High conflict divorce can leave children polarized within the transitioning family system, aligned with one parent and resisting or refusing contact with the other parent/b. Rather than becoming mired in the bottomless pit of back and forth blame, more and more courts are seeking remedies in the form of reunification therapy. Charged with helping the polarized child to enjoy a healthy relationship with both parents, we know what doesn’t work: individual child therapy cannot remedy a family systems problem. Dyadic interventions with the child and either parent are seldom sufficient. Even family therapies fall short when they are not grounded in well-established, reliable, and valid science. Mending Fences introduces a child-centered, systemically informed, empirically-validated, and experientially-proven collaborative reunification protocol. Focusing on the anxiety inhibiting the system’s healthy functioning, well-respected and long-validated cognitive behavioral exposure methods are fused with structural family therapy to reduce the child’s anxieties about separating from one parent and approaching the other, the aligned parent’s fears of separation and loss, and the rejected parent’s fears of rejection. A common vocabulary across coordinated interventions allows children across the spectrum of ages and abilities to identify and overcome an individually tailored succession of anxiety-inducing events so as to gradually (re-)establish healthy and safe relationships with both parents. The Mending Fences protocol is practical, proven, and effective. The user-friendly discussion is peppered with up-to-date references to the scientific literature and international case law. Application via video conferencing platforms is discussed. Included: Case illustrations, sample court orders and service agreements