Bill Eddy – författare

BIFF IS A GAME CHANGER FOR COMMUNICATING WITH PEOPLE WITH HIGH CONFLICT PERSONALITIES

We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a Culture of Blame and Disrespect, creating a need to manage our responses to high conflict people (HCPs). A BIFF Response® can be applied in any communication anywhere: in an email, a text message, on social media, or in a letter. It can be used at work, earning you respect and success. It can help you get along with difficult family members, friends, neighbors, and others anywhere in your life.

BIFF was designed to protect you and your reputation by responding quickly and civilly to people who treat you rudely while being reasonable in return. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. A BIFF response is easy to remember, but hard to do. It takes practice! This first book in the Conflict Communication Series is for anyone dealing with high conflict written communications. Complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method, and numerous practical examples, readers will learn the intricacies of stopping the back-and-forth messages and ultimately contain the conflict. (If you need to use BIFF with a co-parent, BIFF for CoParent Communication is just for you! And BIFF at Work is perfect for workplace communication.)

This Second Edition includes a new chapter on Coaching for BIFF Responses. Anyone can use this coaching method to help someone else with a BIFF communication by asking 10 simple questions to make it even more effective.

Then learn the EAR Statement™ technique in Calming Upset People with EAR for communicating in person (verbally) in high-conflict situations or with any upset person. An EAR Statement can calm an angry or upset person in seconds!

The level of stress and conflict in today’s world is higher than seen in decades. We all can use tools for managing the emotions this has caused. At the same time, there also appear to be more high conflict people who are preoccupied with blaming others and verbally venting or attacking those around them.

Yet, these upset emotions and conflicts can often be calmed immediately through the use of a simple EAR Statement™, a method of verbal communication developed and refined by Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute over the past fifteen years and taught to hundreds of thousands of professionals and individuals.

Following on the success of his widely-known BIFF Response® method and books for written communication, this new book will come in handy when interacting in-person in all kinds of upset situations: family conflicts, workplace disputes, neighbor controversies, angry customers, clients and patients; and any other setting.

A simple statement communicating empathy, attention and/or respect to an angry, sad, mentally ill, or other upset person at any time can work wonders in minutes. Yet it's not as easy as it looks. It takes practice and this book gives over twenty examples of applying this method in families, communities, customer relations, workplace, political discussions, business, police encounters, racial conflicts, schools, mental health settings, and others.

Empathy, attention and respect are what all people are looking for, especially when upset or in a conflict. This book will give you the details of how to calm upset people with EAR every day. Words matter.

High conflict mediation requires a paradigm shift from traditional mediation—high conflict experts Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax show you how.

Over the past ten years the authors have been developing and practicing tips for managing high conflict clients in mediation, which is now a fully developed new method called New Ways for Mediation®. Mediating High Conflict Disputes gives all of the little tips which any mediator can use, as well as the step-by-step structure of the New Ways for Mediation method for those who want to have better control of the process in high conflict cases—or any cases.

Bill Eddy is primarily a family mediator in San Diego, California, with a worldwide reputation for training mediators, lawyers, judges and counselors in methods for working with clients with “high conflict” personality disorders or traits. He is the recipient of the Academy of Professional Mediatiors Family Mediation Lifetime Achievement Award 2021.

Michael Lomax is a mediator dealing with family, workplace, military and government agency disputes in British Columbia, Canada. Both have provided training in this method for High Conflict Institute over the past ten years.

This book is divided into three parts:

Part 1 provides a thorough explanation of the thinking and behavior of parties with high conflict personalities, with an emphasis on what does not work and should be avoided.

Part 2 provides a detailed description of the New Ways for Mediation method, including several paradigm shifts in each step of the process for greater success. Its similarities and differences with interest-based negotiations and transformative mediation methods are explained.

Part 3 includes numerous examples describing cases with special issues in several settings, including family, workplace, and disputes involving government agencies.

"BIFF is simple, powerful, and impactful. This book should bemandatory reading for the entire legal industry. Once you start to use BIFF, it becomes anantidote for caustic interactions. You can'tstop the poison, but BIFF gives you the antidote to counteract it safely. Read it, apply it, and start to use power ofBIFF."  -Attorney Steve Riley, Atticus shareholder and podcast host of Great Practice. Great Life. 

Use BIFF to Communicate with Your Ex's Blaming, Accusing and Taunting Texts and Emails

This book providesa simple and proven method for lawyers and staff to use in ethically responding tohostile communications, correcting misinformation by others, and initiatingproductive correspondence. The BIFF Communication method can be used by all law office personnel(paralegals, administrative assistants, receptionists, and others), with 30sample responses to common situations involving hostile or misinformed emails,text messages, and other forms of communication. BIFF stands for Brief,Informative, Friendly, and Firm.

The BIFF Communication method can also be taught to clients to help them write friendly and conciseresponses in their legal cases, saving lawyers time and reducing the escalation of unnecessary conflicts in their cases. This book explains how tocoach office staff, clients and their family members to use the BIFF Communication method,including ten easy key questions to ask when reviewing their correspondence.While this method is designed primarily for written communication, thisapproach can also be used in verbal conversations, to be efficient and respectful.  

The book is divided into five sections: