Esther Perel – författare

With a New Preface by the Author

The world's best-known relationship expert.'- The New York Times

';Makes fewer promises and raises thornier questions than any other how-to-improve-your-relationship book. . . which is exactly why you should read this one.' ELLE

A special twentieth-anniversary edition of the internationally bestselling and culturally groundbreaking book that cemented Esther Perel as the iconic relationship psychotherapist for today.

In the twenty years since Mating in Captivity was published in 2006, it has become a global phenomenon, as has its author, Esther Perel. As a psychotherapist and thought leader, Perel is widely considered one of the world's most original and respected voices on erotic intelligence.

Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Mating in Captivity examines the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit for freedom and passion. It illuminates the complexities of sustaining desire in long-term relationships and shows how more playful, adventurous, and even poetic sex is possible. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is practical, Perel's bold and provocative take on intimacy is ever more relevant today, asking:

In a new preface, Perel reveals the personal origin story behind the book and reflects upon the many cultural shifts since its publication. This twentieth-anniversary edition invites us to reconsider the timeless paradoxical union of domesticity and desireand offers a guide to bringing lust home.

Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.

Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.

Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

“Perel is a master at what she does.” —The New Yorker

“[Perel] knows the depth of your shame and the vibrancy of your lust.”- The New York Times

From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it.

An affair can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience—universally forbidden yet universally practiced—is poorly understood. Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? For a decade, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with cheating. In this illuminating book, she weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis to provide insights and answers to help couples survive and thrive.

Betrayal hurts, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. Affairs, Perel argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern relationships in its many variations.

“Esther Perel is widely recognized as the world’s leading expert on marriage.”- Sunday Times Style

“A fresh look at infidelity.” - Los Angeles Review of Books

“Perel—a whip-smart emotional savant who pierces through human defenses with the efficiency of a surgeon—is a wonder to behold.”- Huffington Post

“She doesn’t peddle in bromides or offer a shoulder to cry on—she’s too busy trying to shake you to your senses, insisting on your agency, your vitality, and your complicity in what happens in your marriage.” - The New York Times

“[The State of Affairs] explores a vast landscape of the adulterous terrain . . . in a way that’s deeply humane and never preachy.” - NPR

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it''s hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them. Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist''s essential bedside read.

Esther Perel skriver om det som tycks vara ett av vår tids vanligaste relationsproblem: sex. Eller snarare: bristen på sex.Bokens fallbeskrivningar och resonemangen kring dem visar olika förhållanden - gamla, unga, homo- och heteropar, gifta, sambor, par med eller utan barn där paret av olika anledningar inte längre har sex med varandra. De vill fortsätta sitt liv tillsammans, de vill inte göra slut och gå vidare med någon annan partner. Det de vill är att återupptäcka lusten till varandra.Det finns inga enkla lösningar och inte heller ett svar som passar alla. Ett återkommande mönster syns dock, nämligen att man i ett parförhållande kan komma varandra för nära, så att den sexuella spänningen försvagas när inga okända sfärer längre finns. Man vet allt om varandra och har inget eget utrymme kvar. Syret tar slut, sexlusten slumrar in.Genom att belysa detta specifika problem inom parförhållanden och visa olika vägar att hantera det ger författaren olika förslag och möjligheter i denna insiktsfulla och läsvärda bok.