Freeman Hall – författare

There's nothing they hate more than bad home decor, cheap vodka, and men who take off their shirts but shouldn't (especially when those things happen all at once!). They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same, bitching about Prop 8 and lamenting the sad fact that Bradley Cooper is straight. A day without Bravo TV, disco music, frantic texting, and just the right designer clothes makes them want to off themselves. Well, it's not quite that extreme, but it's definitely Stuff that Makes a Gay Heart Weep.In this laugh-out-loud guide to the dislikes of millions, the author shows in 150 succinct entries that it's just not fair for Caucasians to have all the fun! You are invited to kick back, pour yourself a Ketel One on the rocks, and get lost in the bitchiest bitch-fest west of the West Village and this side of the Castro.

From Act I:"I think you left these behind," I said, handing them to her. This happens all the time when women try to return bags they''ve used. Tampons, lipstick, coins, Tic Tacs, and condoms are the top treasures found."Greasy" let out a sigh as if I were the problem. "I really don''t see what the problem is here. It''s none of your business what I keep in my handbag."It is when my commission is at stake! I''m not your Designer Handbag Rental Service! My name is not BagBorrowOrSteal.com!This is a place Freeman Hall, a twenty-year veteran "on the floor," knows well. While delivering side-splitting stories alongside brutally cynical commentary, Freeman recounts his most shocking experiences in Retail Hell.From the time he was attacked by a customer''s four-year-old, who grabbed onto his leg like a poodle and wouldn''t let go, to the day he found the fitting room walls covered in s**t, Freeman has seen and heard (smelled and felt) it all! Horrifying and hilarious, this behind-the-scenes look at what really goes on at the Big Fancy Stores is rollicking, ready-to-wear wisdom for readers everywhere.

In 150 quick and witty entries, Freeman Hall captures every last detail of what makes every gay person flee the room in terror!There''s nothing gay men hate more than bad home décor, cheap vodka, and men who take off their shirts but shouldn''t (especially when those things happen all at once!). They believe they''re unique, yet somehow they''re all exactly the same, bitching about Prop 8 and lamenting the sad fact that Bradley Cooper is straight. A day without Bravo TV, disco music, frantic texting, and just the right designer clothes is enough to spend the day weeping under the covers. Well, it''s not quite that extreme, but it''s definitely Stuff that Makes a Gay Heart Weep. In this laugh-out-loud guide to the dislikes of millions, the Freeman Hall shows in 150 succinct entries that it''s just not fair for Caucasians to have all the fun! You are invited to kick back, pour yourself a Ketel One on the rocks, and get lost in the bitchiest bitch-fest west of the West Village and this side of the Castro.

There is no wrath like a Hellspawn scorned . . .They scream. They cry. And they’re worse then just miniature versions of their entitled, rude, and too-often crazy parents. They’re Hellspawn.These child terrors didn’t get their name for being cute. They have ransacked stores, turned on their parents, and tried to get employees fired. And the retail slaves that suffer their tantrums are tired of keeping quiet.In these 43 hilarious-and-true stories from RetailHellUnderground.com bloggers, little monsters like Pee Boy, Pony Girl, and the Little Ice Cream Devils give kids everywhere a bad name. But when Mouthy gets his smart-alecky due and the Screamer is offered an exorcism, you’ll find yourself rooting for the Underground heroes in no time!

Bigger, Fancier, and more cutthorat than ever!When Freeman Hall left The Big Fancy to pursue his screenwriting dreams, he thought the horrors of working in a handbag department were finally over. But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who''s really in charge!