Gideon Defoe – författare

Prisoners of Geography meets Bill Bryson: a funny, fascinating, beautifully illustrated – and timely – history of countries that, for myriad and often ludicrous reasons, no longer exist. ‘Countries are just daft stories we tell each other. They’re all equally implausible once you get up close’ Countries die. Sometimes it’s murder, sometimes it’s by accident, and sometimes it’s because they were so ludicrous they didn’t deserve to exist in the first place. Occasionally they explode violently. A few slip away almost unnoticed. Often the cause of death is either ‘got too greedy’ or ‘Napoleon turned up’. Now and then they just hold a referendum and vote themselves out of existence.This is an atlas of nations that fell off the map. The polite way of writing an obituary is: dwell on the good bits, gloss over the embarrassing stuff. This book fails to do that. And that is mainly because most of these dead nations (and a lot of the ones that are still alive) are so weird or borderline nonsensical that it’s impossible to skip the embarrassing stuff.The life stories of the sadly deceased involve a catalogue of chancers, racists, racist chancers, conmen, madmen, people trying to get out of paying tax, mistakes, lies, stupid schemes and General Idiocy. Because of this – and because treating nation states with too much respect is the entire problem with pretty much everything – these accounts are not fussed about adding to all the earnest flag saluting in the world, however nice some of the flags are.

Whilst visiting their bank manager on the shores of Lake Geneva, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter no less than the literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley - and his beautiful young fiancée, Mary.Together they embark upon a journey that leads them away from Switzerland into the bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. It is an adventure that will force the Pirate Captain to confront some important questions, namely: what is the secret behind his mysterious belly tattoo? Is 'Zombuloid, the corpse-beast' a better name for a monster than 'Gorgo: Half-man, half-seaweed'? And, most importantly - what happens when a pirate finally falls in love?Women in diaphanous nighties running down corridors! Brooding men with dark hair! Sinister taxidermy! Ghostly banging noises! The Pirates! In An Adventure with the Romantics contains all these things, as well as a bit where the Captain dresses up as a sexy fireman.