Jass Richards – författare

Everyone gets fired at least once. (And if not, well, you''re just not trying very hard.) And we all think of brilliant and immature ''shoulda saids'' and ''shoulda dones'' for weeks after. (Okay, years.) This Will Not Look Good on My Resume is a  collection of loosely related stories and employments that did not end well.

A quirky bit of fun that slaps you upside the head.

FINALIST FOR THE RUBERY BOOK AWARD 2021

"Ya made me snort root beer out my nose!" Moriah Jovan, The Proviso

The Road Trip Dialogues is a coming of age story. For those in their forties.

Rev and Dylan are intelligent, sensitive, idealistic, enthusiastic, and -- utter failures. When they reconnect twenty years after teacher''s college, Rev is en route to Montreal to see the fireworks festival. (Something with great social and political import.) (Oh shut up. I tried. For twenty years. So to hell with it.). Dylan goes along for the ride. (Typical.)

Two Canadian atheists go on a cross-country speaking tour of American Bible Colleges, and oh god, they end up committing all sorts of blasphemies. The Blasphemy Tour - where philosophy meets stand-up.

Funny, feel-good, happy-ever-after dog stories featuring the ever-quirky, ever-sarcastic Brett from This Will Not Look Good on My Resume.  Also featured are her own two dogs, Kessie and Snookums, and her four regulars, Chum, Hunk, Little Miss, and Spunky Doo.

A funny but honest translation dictionary of common phrases people say to each other all the time ...

Jane Smith is a character In my novel A Philosopher, a Psychologist, and an Extraterrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar (blurb below). And she started this dictionary. I''ve continued it. And everyone else is supposed to finish it. Well, add to it. (It''s unlikely it''ll ever be finished.) Send additions - new definitions to the entries already listed and/or completely new entries - for future editions to me at jassrichards@gmail.com.  (Additionally, you can add your entries to the tumblr page I set up, hoping it would become viral like "Everyday Sexism" and "Why I''m a Feminist" and #MeToo. Sadly, it did not.)

A Philosopher, a Psychologist, and an Extraterrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar: When a self-appointed independent activist and her office-temp-with-a-doctorate buddy embark on a quest for a chocolate bar (a bar that serves not alcohol, but chocolate - in all its deliciously decadent forms), they pick up a hitchhiking extraterrestrial who''s stopped on Earth to ask for directions. Trying to explain Earl (Earth), confronting sexism (rather like bashing your head against a jellyfish), and committing assorted outrageous acts and everyday rebellions, they help "X" find the information she needs to get back home - and go with her - to become chocolate bartenders. A (way) off-the-beaten-path first contact story.

Jane also started a list titled "And here''s something else that would never happen to a man ..." - which I include at the end of the dictionary (it''s also in Sexist Shit that Pisses Me Off, 2e). I created a tumblr page for this as well, similarly hoping it would become viral, but, similarly, it did not. Pity. (But it''s not too late! Add your additions to the page and send them to me for future editions of the Dictionary.)

What if people had to get a license before they could be parents?  Rev and Dylan (whom we meet in THE ROAD TRIP DIALOGUES) have returned from their BLASPHEMY TOUR to discover that Canada has adopted the Parent Licence Act: people who wish to become parents must apply for, and meet certain requirements before being granted, a licence. What if? After all, we require hairdressers and plumbers to be licensed. Dylan, freelance journalist, investigates, interviews, and observes; Rev, loose cannon, solves an ''illegal fertilization'' mystery. They both occasionally get stoned and silly, and deal with a baby wolf who has adopted them. Jass Richards makes you laugh and think at the same time.

A perfect cottage-warming gift. Boomer lit. Sure to resonate with paddlers everywhere.

You ever have a neighbour whose behaviour is so mind-bogglingly inconsiderate and so suicide-inducingly annoying that you just want to ask him, in a polite Canadian way, to please stop? TurboJetslams isn''t like that. Jass Richards'' new novel, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God, tells the tale of one person''s pathetic and hilarious attempts to single-handedly stop the destruction of a little piece of beautiful Canadian wilderness by the increasing numbers of idiots who couldn''t care less.

"Extraordinarily well written with wit, wisdom, and laugh-out-loud ironic recognition, "TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God" is a highly entertaining and a riveting read that will linger on in the mind and memory long after the little book itself has been finished and set back upon the shelf (or shoved into the hands of friends with an insistence that they drop everything else and read it!). Highly recommended for community library collections." Midwest Book Review

What if there was an app that could cloak you in a cross-gendered hologram? And it had a voice modulation module? Women could present as men and get better-paying jobs. Men could present as women and get groped in the subway. Cool.

The ReGender App is a humourous expose of the sexism in our society.

"The characters are ... intelligent, witty, and adventurous.  I enjoyed their dialogue and insights. ...  This is a book I really recommend to any book club and to people who are interested in gender differences and gender discrimination." Mesca Elin, Psychochromatic Redemption

"This book is brilliant. ... The premise is really intriguing ... The scene at the airport just had me laughing out loud." Katya, Goodreads

Too Stupid to Visit (and other collections of funny bits) is a themed collection of bits from Jass Richards'' non-existent stand-up career. Includes Too Stupid to Visit, We Should Put a Crocodile in There, Born that Way, Let the Cows Loose, Jass Richards does Europe, and Other Funny Bits.

__________

"... wretchedly funny." C. Mike Rice, Realworldatheism

"Your material is fabulous! It reminds me so much of George Carlin. ..." Gemini Rising

"Ya made me snort root beer out my nose!" Moriah Jovan, The Proviso

"Jass is a comedy genius. ... reminiscent of Monty Python ... " May Arend, Brazilian Bookworm

First there was the pandemic, and people rushed to the north to spread the virus like rats leaving a plague ship.

Then there were the rentals, because other people, eager to capitalize on the pandemic, rushed to develop every last bit of shoreline and turn it into five-star accommodations for the rats.

Then, well, all hell broke loose.

*

CottageEscape.zyx: Satan Takes Over is the sequel to TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God and as such, is a short and funny novel about ''cottage country'' with a deep and serious message. A perfect (pre-)summer read that will make you laugh and think at the same time.

When an independent activist and her office-temp-with-a-doctorate buddy embark on a quest for a chocolate bar (a bar that serves not alcohol, but chocolate - in all its deliciously decadent forms), they pick up a hitchhiking extraterrestrial who''s stopped on Earth to ask for directions.  (I know, right?) They do their damnedest to help ''X'' find the information she needs to get back home, all the while confronting everyday sexism (rather like bashing your head against a jellyfish) and committing assorted outrageous acts and everyday rebellions ...