Jeff Foxworthy – författare

Get ready to laugh out loud with Jeff Foxworthy’s You Might Be a Redneck If . . . 2027 Day-to-Day Calendar. Packed with Jeff's sharpest and most entertaining redneck humor, this daily tear-off calendar is perfect for anyone who enjoys clever, lighthearted comedy. Whether you grew up in a small town or just appreciate Jeff's signature style, each page brings a new quip, a quick laugh, and the unmistakeable with that has made Jeff Foxworthy a comedy legend.  Features include:No single-use plastic4.6" x 4.6" page sizeRecyclable chipboard easel backer for desk or tabletop displayPrinted on FSC-certified paper with soy-based inkDay/Date reference on each pageCombined weekend pagesOfficial major world holidays and observancesAn amusing redneck joke on each pageDaily Extra! Bonus content on the back of each day's page

Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs.So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!From the Hardcover edition.

Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases likean• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .”i• Pod (í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.”uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.”No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.From the Hardcover edition.

There’s no such thing as too much redneck. And it’s easy to understand why. A veritable gumbo of indigenous ingenuity, this deliciously distinct dialect rolls off the tongue like drool in the presence of a barbecue sandwich. Now, just in time for no time in particular, Jeff Foxworthy’s three bestsellers are rolled into one hilarious redneck reference. This practical, portable A-to-Z crash course will have you laughing and learning your way to flawless southern slang. Say after me:bay • ou (bi´-ü), v. and n. to purchase for another. “I just walked right up to her and said, ‘Hey darlin’, lemme bayou a drink.’ ”doo • dle (düd´-el), n. and v. a male person and his predicted actions. “Don’t even look at him, ’cuz that doodle kill you.”tor • toise (tort´-es), v. and n. to have imparted knowledge or wisdom to a group. “That stupid teacher never tortoise nothin’. ”Whether you’re a newbie looking to connect with your inner redneck or a seasoned pro hoping to sharpen your skills, The Complete Redneck Dictionary is the only reference you’ll ever need. Picking up Redneck (and this book) has never been easier.From the Hardcover edition.

As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It’s not who has the highest score, it’s who has the least fun playing it. And now, in his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares his invaluable tips for a lifetime of horrible drives and putts.• Get into the right frame of mind to play truly awful golf. Food poisoning or a killer hangover might be just the ticket to a robust three-digit score.• Try to get to the course promptly at tee time to avoid the hassle of warming up: “You’re only gonna hit five good shots in the course of the day; why waste even one on the driving range?”• The surefire way to screw up a great drive? As you walk to the tee, keep telling yourself, “Don’t screw up your drive.” If bad golf’s your goal, stress is your best friend.• Avoid fun. “Fun = relaxed = low scores . . . and that’s something we want to avoid at all cost. If you have a good hole, shake it off.”• Perhaps the most important element: Embrace the fact that you do stink at golf. Cheating. Cursing. Avoiding fairways. Reckless cart driving. How to Really Stink at Golf covers it all, from selecting the correct putter to use on a 385-yard drive to prolonging your stay in the sand trap to picking the perfect foursome for spectacularly bad golf (“you, your ex-wife, your girlfriend, your wife”). With Jeff Foxworthy as your guide, even a scratch golfer can add ten, twenty, maybe thirty strokes to his or her score–and possibly more if you attempt to play the back nine, too.From the Hardcover edition.

New York Times bestselling humorist Jeff Foxworthy offers a hilarious illustrated guide to having the most fun possible at work while doing the least—without getting firedThe better you are at your job, the longer your hours are going to be. And how many people on their deathbeds say “I wish I had spent more time at the office?” With that in mind, Jeff Foxworthy asks you to embrace the fact that you do stink at work (or secretly want to). How to Really Stink at Work will help you relieve yourself of all that responsibility and accountability—in sections like:• “Becoming Unfireable” (Get your boss drunk and record it)• “AvoidingWork”(When all else fails—that fire alarm’s not there for nothing!)• “Alienating Colleagues” (Nothing says “stay away from that guy” like a grossly inappropriate secret Santa gift)Filled with laugh-out-loud illustrations, How to Really Stink at Work is the funniest guide to not-getting-ahead you’ll ever read.From the Hardcover edition.