Jessica G. Lippman - Böcker

The mourning of a parent's death can take many years—for some it may take a lifetime. The first year of separation, however, is often the most difficult and heart wrenching. The first birthday, holiday, spring, summer, autumn, and winter spent without the loved one often revives or increases the pain. This unique guide is organized according to a timeline of a child's first year of mourning the loss of a parent. It is a warm, insightful, yet practical guide to help the families and community members surrounding a child who has suffered such a loss to anticipate and cope with the many difficulties that arise. Practical suggestions for providing comfort, information, and advice are provided for adults struggling to help children endure the trauma. A range of difficult situations that bereaved children encounter are identified, helping to prepare adults for a child's potential reactions and providing them with realistic coping strategies.Lewis and Lippman, child psychologists who have provided therapy to children who have lost a parent, suggest answers to questions that these children frequently ask. They offer methods for dealing with particularly difficult times such as birthdays, and share practical advice for everyday situations and events. They begin with helping the child through anticipation of death, if it is expected, or through the initial shock of unexpected death. Poignant vignettes from the therapists' experience dealing with young and older children are included.

It's a sad reality but one we must face and understand for the children's sake. Each year, hundreds of thousands of parents separate or divorce, and their marital breakdown is most often heartbreaking, mystifying, and painful for their children. The youngsters, regardless of age, may or may not get honest, open explanations. They may or may not understand. Reasons for the breakdown aside, it is a loss for the children, something to grieve. Many parents make it more difficult by putting the children in the middle, or telling them things to alienate them against the other parent. The children learn poor lessons that can last a lifetime and affect their own future relationships. This book is for separated, divorcing, and divorced parents who want to minimize or remove the fallout for the kids. Those just contemplating separation or divorce will find this text of great help in enabling them to be proactive, set a plan to avoid possible problems, and to deal with those that will inevitably surface.Therapists Lippman and Lewis share with us the beneficial experience and positive lessons discovered in their decades working with men, women, and children to navigate divorce and still keep the security, stability, and emotional health of the children intact. Vignettes from and interviews with parents, children, and other therapists are included, and the tragic story of broken marriage is told through letters from mothers, fathers, children, and grandparents, and through the authors' answers to those letters. The responses highlight strong needs and sound approaches, to empower good times and help families face, deal with, then minimize the bad. Topics addressed include when and how to tell the children, moving out, setting schedules and visits, the need for flexibility, handling anger and frustration and assuring it does not get directed at the children, communicating, avoiding secrets, and maintaining relationships with grandparents and other relatives. At the core of this book lies one simple truth: though adult relationships may change, the love for children remains constant. Here, Lippman and Lewis educate us—in mind and heart—about how to best love and nurture our children during what can be one of the deepest losses they will face in their lifetimes.