Joan Rivers – författare

Red carpet fashion laureate, comic icon, and outspoken superstar Joan Rivers gives her signature straight-talking advice to women on how to live better through looking better.Joan Rivers’s abiding life philosophy is simple: in the appearance focused society of the twenty-first century, beauty is key—especially where men are concerned. So, getting something lifted, tightened, adjusted, or removed is as fundamental as wearing makeup or using hair conditioner. Now, for any woman considering her options, Joan takes the mystery out of cosmetic surgery with a practical overview, aided and informed by the country''s top plastic surgeons. She takes us step-by-step through these entire processes, from finding the right doctor to the bruising truth about recovery and the facts about cosmetic surgery’s very real risks. Of course, Joan also dishes about who’s had what done in Hollywood and her own witty insights about her life under the knife. Part hilarious bitch-fest and part hands-on advice, this is a bracingly funny, wildly frank, and genuinely passionate argument for a woman''s right to do whatever it takes to be beautiful, to feel better about herself, and most of all to be happy.

“An entertaining rant…The only thing missing is the sound of a drumroll and cymbals to feel as though one is sitting in a nightclub watching a live comedy marathon…A raucous, biting look at life.”—Kirkus Reviews   “Nobody, but nobody, can hate like Joan Rivers. It is a gift. It is also shocking, the things she makes us laugh at…Joan Rivers is extraordinary, but she''s not for the easily offended—or for anyone who gets offended at all.”—People   Joan Rivers, comedienne, actress, jewelry monger, and an award-winning international star (she can sneer in eight different languages) lives by her own golden rule: Do unto others before they do unto you—and for God’s sakes, do it funny!  Her career in comedy may have begun with self-loathing, but, after looking at the human decrepitude around her, she figured Why stop here when there are so many other things to hate? With all of her diverse experiences, Joan has looked down at, turned away from, and thrown up over a lot of hateful things, deplorable places, and despicable people. Thank God she took notes.   Here—uncensored and uninhibited—Joan says exactly what’s on her mind…And HER mind is a terrible thing to waste.  She proudly kicks the crap out of ugly children, dating rituals, funerals, and lousy restaurants. She nails First Ladies, closet cases, and hypocrites to the wall. She shows no mercy towards doctors and feminists, and even goes after Anne Frank and Stephen Hawking.  Joan lets everyone—including herself—have it in this one hundred percent honest and unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.

From the headline-making, New York Times bestselling author of I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me comes another intimate glimpse into the delightfully hilarious mind of Joan Rivers.When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas, at first Joan is horrified—who the hell does Melissa think she is? That fat pig, Bridget Jones? But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say. About everything. And everyone, God help them. The result? A no-holds-barred, delightfully vicious and always hilarious look at the everyday life of the ultimate diva. Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars, never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events, and excoriating insights about life, pop culture, and celebrities (from A to D list), all in her relentlessly funny signature style. This is the Diary of a Mad Diva. Forget about Anais Nin, Anne Frank, and Sylvia Plath. For the first time in a century, a diary by someone that’s actually worth reading.

Delivered with Joan's signature sense of humour, Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobsis a no-nonsense, common-sense, "can-we-talk" guide to the ins and outs of such increasingly common beauty procedures as botox injections, chemical peels, microdermabrasion, liposuction, rhinoplasty, eye lifts, breast augmentation-and much more. Chapters include: Peels and Fillers, Sucks to Be You, Eyes Wide Open, Care Enough to Do Your Very, Very Breast, Less Where You Don't Want It, More Where You Do, and Bringing Up the Rear. Filled with practical wisdom and plenty of wisecracks, this fun and inspirational guide is for every woman who wants to look and feel gorgeous.

As the Queen of the Red Carpet, Joan Rivers has been eyewitness to Hollywood''s most heinous crimes (okay, so they''re fashion-related). And in this über-stylish mystery, she enlists her no-holds-barred, slightly blonder literary counterpart, Maxine Taylor, to solve a crime of a different sort. When a gorgeous young actress dies on the Red Carpet, some in Tinseltown call it bad publicity. Max calls it murder.The Academy Awards®. It''s Hollywood''s biggest night, and there''s no star better equipped than the tart-tongued Max Taylor to hold court on the glamorous Red Carpet. Sharing the dish with her daughter, Drew, the calls-it-as-she-sees-it entertainer has parlayed this star-studded annual gig into television''s most-watched pre-show event. And tonight, Max has landed a real coup—an exclusive interview with Halsey Hamilton, a fabulous, young, paparazzi-trailed Oscar nominee. But not even Max, who''s seen her share of celebrity train wrecks, is prepared for an incoherent Halsey, straight out of rehab, to stumble up to the mic, slur a few cryptic words, and drop dead at the hem of Max''s stunning Michael Kors gown. To Hollywood, the starlet''s demise was tragic but inevitable. To Max, it looks more like a perfectly calculated crime. After all, she alone heard Halsey''s final whisper—a clue that leads Max to the pricey rehab clinic Wonders. With a weakness for nothing more disturbing than artificial sweeteners, Max nonetheless goes undercover and embarks on a twelve-step investigation into murder. Once inside the luxury clinic, Max''s list of suspicious players expands faster than the Jolie-Pitt family: Burke Norris, a professional cad and Drew''s ex-fiancé; Halsey''s father, who is still making money off his dead daughter''s fame; Halsey''s jealous younger sister; and Rojo Bernstein, a tattooed karate hipster who knew the troubled fallen star much better than anyone suspected. Now it''s left to Max to unravel the sordid motives and find Halsey''s killer while upstaging an over-the-top Hollywood memorial service and funeral where the ill-fated actress was buried in, of all things, a tacky designer knockoff! And you thought the Oscars were all swag bags and Jimmy Choos? Hah! Honey, it''s murder. In Murder at the Academy Awards®, Joan Rivers delivers a very smart, bracingly funny, and pitch-perfect reflection of a Hollywood only she would dare to reveal—all seen through the eyes of an indomitable, high-end amateur sleuth who isn''t asking "Who are you wearing?" but rather "Whodunit?"

Red carpet fashion laureate, comic icon, and outspoken superstar Joan Rivers gives her signature straight-talking advice to women on how to live better through looking better.Joan Rivers’s abiding life philosophy is simple: in the appearance focused society of the twenty-first century, beauty is key—especially where men are concerned. So, getting something lifted, tightened, adjusted, or removed is as fundamental as wearing makeup or using hair conditioner. Now, for any woman considering her options, Joan takes the mystery out of cosmetic surgery with a practical overview, aided and informed by the country''s top plastic surgeons. She takes us step-by-step through these entire processes, from finding the right doctor to the bruising truth about recovery and the facts about cosmetic surgery’s very real risks. Of course, Joan also dishes about who’s had what done in Hollywood and her own witty insights about her life under the knife. Part hilarious bitch-fest and part hands-on advice, this is a bracingly funny, wildly frank, and genuinely passionate argument for a woman''s right to do whatever it takes to be beautiful, to feel better about herself, and most of all to be happy.