Karen Alpert – författare

"Crass, inappropriate, and absolutely hysterical. In other words, absolutely everything you could want in a parenting book and more." —Jill Smokler, New York Times–bestselling authorFollowing the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it''s all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he''s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she''s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they''re a-holes. At times like these, it''s only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it''s against the law (and there''s the suicide hotline). Plus, there''s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you''ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Now that I''m a mom, I know the most painful part isn''t getting something giant through your hooha. It''s having a real live child.If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo''s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino''s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book.But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won''t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald''s for a special treat but really it''s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book.I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert''s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you''re smart and read it there.

"Honest, raw, and hilarious. A must-read for parents who want their kids to grow up to be decent human beings." —Jill Smokler, New York Times–bestselling authorDo you ever feel like you''re failing miserably at parenting? Do your kids keep acting like douchenuggets no matter what you do? Then this book is for you.From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don''t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn''t always know WTF she''s doing. Just like you.Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like:- You Are Not Your Kiddo''s Servant​- Picasso''s Mom Didn''t Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right Place- Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in Therapy- If They Say "I Hate You," Then You''re Probably Doing It RightMamas Don''t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes will make you laugh, cry, laugh until you cry, and feel like you''re having coffee (and a little sumpin'' in it) with a best friend who has some of the answers to THE hardest job on earth: parenting. And maybe, just maybe, it might help you get the a-hole out of your kids**not a guarantee"With laugh-out-loud humor, refreshing practicality, and a glorious potty mouth, Alpert once again delivers the essential read for all of us navigating modern motherhood." —Leslie Anne Bruce, New York Times–bestselling author

Do you ever feel like you’re failing miserably at parenting? Do your kids keep acting like douchenuggets no matter what you do? Then this book is for you. From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you. Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like: You Are Not Your Kiddo's Servant​Picasso's Mom Didn't Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right PlaceSticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in TherapyIf They Say "I Hate You," Then You're Probably Doing It RightMamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes will make you laugh, cry, laugh until you cry, and feel like you’re having coffee (and a little sumpin' in it) with a best friend who has some of the answers to THE hardest job on earth: parenting. And maybe, just maybe, it might help you get the a-hole out of your kids* *not a guarantee