Kysa Steele – författare

A cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: "e;You missed the turnoff."e;It gets worse from there.Cargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead, he rescued a reality-warping cat from the vacuum of space, became wanted in nine sectors, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.The cat's name is Brentley. He's a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and possibly the most wanted being in three sectors. He's also Jarik's new passenger. Whether Jarik likes it or not.Now they're being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing—a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork. Their lead agent? Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.Between zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik discovers that the universe's rules are more like suggestions. Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. And the Bureau has seventeen different forms for "e;harboring a fugitive familiar."e;When Brentley's past catches up to them in the form of a Leviathan-class enforcement frigate, Jarik faces a choice: spend the rest of his life filing paperwork in triplicate, or embrace the chaos and become the galaxy's most wanted transportation provider.The cat already filed the paperwork. Mentally. Jarik's complicit.NINE LIVES, ZERO PAPERWORK is the first book in the Nine Lives, Infinite Lies series—a comedic science fiction adventure featuring:A cat who survives vacuum and lies with impunitySpace bureaucrats more dangerous than piratesA corgi inspector with a badge and a martyr complexZero-G slapstick involving haunted mayonnaiseOne very unfortunate cargo hauler who just wanted a quiet lifePaperwork. So much paperwork.Cosmic comedy where bureaucracy meets chaos.

Krampus has been doing Santa's dirty work for five hundred years. He's done. Finished. Retired. Santa's response? Drop a magical chaos cat on his doorstep.Look, Krampus earned his solitude. Five centuries of naughty lists, behavioral corrections, and cleaning up after every Nice Kid who went sideways should come with the right to peace and quiet. Maybe a hobby. Definitely the right to ignore Holiday HR and their increasingly desperate "e;Goodwill Outreach Initiative."e;Then Santa shows up with Yule.Yule is not a normal cat. He's the Spirit of Festive Misrule, magic on four paws, and he comes with twelve days of escalating holiday disasters that turn Krampus's carefully ordered life into a glitter-bombed nightmare. Snarky partridges that won't shut up. French hens with union demands. Swans requiring therapy. Geese that are legitimately explosive.Each day the chaos compounds—because unlike normal holiday magic, Yule's manifestations don't disappear. They pile up. They interact. They make Krampus's house look like a holiday fever dream.But here's the thing that's actually breaking through Krampus's defenses: it's not the chaos. It's Yule himself. The way that ridiculous cat keeps pushing him toward connection. Toward vulnerability. Toward all the things Krampus locked away when the holiday world decided there wasn't room for someone like him.Turns out sometimes the only way back to joy involves a lot of property damage and a cat who refuses to take no for an answer.If you love grumpy characters learning to feel again, this holiday novella about found family and second chances might be your thing. It's got a reluctant hero who deserves better, escalating magical mayhem, and proof that even after five hundred years of bitterness, there's still hope for healing.Also, there's a cat. The cat is a menace. You'll love him.

Mungus ate the end of the world. It tasted like chicken.When Claire Pemberton's cat consumes a cosmic artifact that was supposed to be her thesis paperweight, she expects some digestive complications. She does not expect fish showers over London, traffic lights speaking ancient Sumerian, or a government committee determined to take her cat away for "e;containment."e;Now Claire—an anxiety-ridden graduate student whose entire field nobody takes seriously—must navigate emergency bureaucracy, face down hostile treasury officials, and prove that love isn't a weakness in cosmic entity management. It's the only thing that works.Her allies include a demon named Harold who considers paperwork a form of devotion, a government agent whose cat is learning to purr at pipes, and a professor who just discovered his thirty years of theoretical research are terrifyingly real. Her opposition includes a man who views kindness as a budget line item to be eliminated.The committee votes. The containment order stands. And Mungus walks into a cage to protect the person he loves.But Claire isn't done fighting.The Cat Who Ate The End Of The World is a cozy fantasy novella about trust, bureaucratic absurdity, and the lengths we'll go to protect the ones who matter. It features:A cosmic cat who thinks in italics about "e;food lady"e;A demon with an enthusiasm for proper documentationFish showers, prophetic hamsters, and a missing TuesdayFound family forged through crisisThe question of whether love is a sufficient basis for managing existential threats (it is)Standalone novella. No cliffhangers. Contains one (1) deeply objectionable can of diet tuna.