Lily Bailey – författare

The true story of a teenager with OCD

'Extremely compelling' - THE GUARDIAN

'Remarkable' - WASHINGTON POST

'A beautifully-rendered memoir' - PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

Because We Are Bad is a gripping, fast-paced non-fiction memoir that takes you inside the invisible war of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) - where a single intrusive thought can feel like a verdict, and where the mind insists that certainty is the only form of safety.

From the outside, Lily is a bright, capable girl navigating school, friendships, and family life. On the inside, her days are governed by dread: unwanted images, taboo thoughts, sudden spikes of anxiety, and the persistent fear that thinking something "bad" means being bad.

OCD is not neat, quirky, or harmless in this story. It is urgent, intelligent, and exhausting - an illness that hijacks logic, steals time, and makes ordinary moments feel dangerous.

Written with razor-sharp clarity and literary elegance, Because We Are Bad has the pace of a thriller: a page-turning true story of rituals and mental compulsions, of moral panic and secret rules, of the desperate bargains made to keep disaster away.

Lily Bailey captures the looping nature of obsession - the way intrusive thoughts return, mutate, and demand new answers - while showing how shame and silence can tighten the trap. This is narrative nonfiction at its most intimate: an OCD memoir that turns a private disorder into a vivid, cinematic reading experience.

Yet this is not only a story of suffering. It is also a story of survival, insight, and recovery - the hard-won shift from fear-driven obedience to the possibility of freedom. With compassion and hard truth, Bailey traces how OCD distorts identity ("because we are bad"), and how naming the disorder can become the first step toward reclaiming the self. If you have ever lived with anxiety, panic, depression, perfectionism, rumination, or the crushing need to "get it right," you will recognise the emotional squeeze of a brain that refuses to let go.

Inside this unforgettable mental health memoir, you'll find:

A vivid, honest portrait of life with OCD and intrusive thoughts, including the isolating pressure to appear "fine."The hidden mechanics of compulsions - checking, reassurance seeking, avoidance, mental reviewing - and how they can escalate in secret.A moving coming-of-age journey through fear, courage, family, and the complicated work of growing up with mental illness.A voice that is intelligent, humane, and fiercely readable: candid, darkly funny at times, and always compassionate.

Journalist Lily Bailey''s memoir Because We Are Bad reveals her childhood battle with obsessive compulsive disorder, and her hard-won journey to recovery.A Washington Post Best Book of the YearBy the age of thirteen, Lily Bailey was convinced she was bad. She had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and ogled the bodies of other children. Only by performing an exhausting series of secret routines could she make up for what she''d done. But no matter how intricate or repetitive, no act of penance was ever enough.Beautifully written and astonishingly intimate, Because We Are Bad recounts a childhood consumed by obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child, Bailey created a second personality inside herself—"I" became "we"—to help manifest compulsions that drove every minute of every day of her young life. Now she writes about the forces beneath her skin, and how they ordered, organized, and urged her forward. Lily charts her journey, from checking on her younger sister dozens of times a night, to "normalizing" herself at school among new friends as she grew older, and finally to her young adult years, learning—indeed, breaking through—to make a way for herself in a big, wide world that refuses to stay in check.Charming and raw, harrowing and redemptive, Because We Are Bad is an illuminating and uplifting look into the mind and soul of an extraordinary young woman, and a startling portrait of OCD that allows us to see and understand this condition as never before."One of the best [books] I have read on the phenomenology of OCD." —Washington Post

The true story by a teenager with OCD 'Extremely compelling' – THE GUARDIAN'Remarkable' – WASHINGTON POST'A beautifully-rendered memoir' – PUBLISHERS WEEKLYBecause We Are Bad is a gripping, fast-paced non-fiction memoir that takes you inside the invisible war of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) — where a single intrusive thought can feel like a verdict, and where the mind insists that certainty is the only form of safety. From the outside, Lily is a bright, capable girl navigating school, friendships, and family life. On the inside, her days are governed by dread: unwanted images, taboo thoughts, sudden spikes of anxiety, and the persistent fear that thinking something “bad” means being bad. OCD is not neat, quirky, or harmless in this story. It is urgent, intelligent, and exhausting — an illness that hijacks logic, steals time, and makes ordinary moments feel dangerous. Written with razor-sharp clarity and literary elegance, Because We Are Bad has the pace of a thriller: a page-turning true story of rituals and mental compulsions, of moral panic and secret rules, of the desperate bargains made to keep disaster away. Lily Bailey captures the looping nature of obsession — the way intrusive thoughts return, mutate, and demand new answers — while showing how shame and silence can tighten the trap. This is narrative nonfiction at its most intimate: an OCD memoir that turns a private disorder into a vivid, cinematic reading experience. Yet this is not only a story of suffering. It is also a story of survival, insight, and recovery — the hard-won shift from fear-driven obedience to the possibility of freedom. With compassion and hard truth, Bailey traces how OCD distorts identity (“because we are bad”), and how naming the disorder can become the first step toward reclaiming the self. If you have ever lived with anxiety, panic, depression, perfectionism, rumination, or the crushing need to “get it right,” you will recognise the emotional squeeze of a brain that refuses to let go. Inside this unforgettable mental health memoir, you’ll find: A vivid, honest portrait of life with OCD and intrusive thoughts, including the isolating pressure to appear “fine.” The hidden mechanics of compulsions — checking, reassurance seeking, avoidance, mental reviewing — and how they can escalate in secret. A moving coming-of-age journey through fear, courage, family, and the complicated work of growing up with mental illness. A voice that is intelligent, humane, and fiercely readable: candid, darkly funny at times, and always compassionate. Because We Are Bad is essential reading for anyone searching for an OCD memoir, an obsessive-compulsive disorder autobiography, or a powerful mental health book that combines literary nonfiction with real-life urgency. It’s also a valuable read for partners, parents, friends, teachers, therapists, and caregivers — anyone who wants to understand what OCD can look like beyond stereotypes, and why reassurance and “just stop thinking about it” are not solutions. For readers who love high-impact nonfiction, this autobiographical non-fiction book offers the immediacy of a personal story and the insight of psychological nonfiction without ever turning into a textbook. It speaks to the private logic of obsessions and compulsions, the loneliness of secrecy, and the radical relief of being understood. Above all, it offers a clear-eyed message: you are not your thoughts, and you are not alone. If you crave narrative non-fiction that is emotionally intense, psychologically precise, and impossible to put down, Lily Bailey delivers. Because We Are Bad offers the rare combination of speed and depth: the propulsive momentum of a true life story and the enduring resonance of a book that changes how you see the mind. Discover the memoir readers recommend for its honesty and its hope. Pick up Because We Are Bad today — and step into a story that turns private terror into language, clarity, and finally, release. About the Author Lily Bailey is a model, writer, and mental health campaigner. As a child and teenager, Lily suffered from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She kept her illness private, until the widespread misunderstanding of the disorder spurred her into action. She began campaigning for better awareness and understanding of OCD. Because We Are Bad is her first book. She has written two books for children on mental health themes, When I See Blue and When I Feel Red. Reviews 'Often as chilling as Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, but also full of so much inner and external turbulence that it reminded me at times of The Bourne Identity and Memento. Readers will root for Lily, even when she is attempting to run away from the realities and sometimes authorities chasing her.' – HUFFPOST UK 'A harrowingly honest memoir' – KIRKUS REVIEWS 'Because We Are Bad is an emotional, challenging read. Lily takes us deep into the heart of the illness but she is also a deft writer, and even the darkest moments are peppered with wit and wry observations.' – JAMES LLOYD, OCD-UK Buy the book and start reading

A Love Song is an in-depth look at human behavior from a spiritual and psychological perspective. It explores the nature of thought and emotion and the division we tend to create between the two. It looks at the ego as a false construct whose sole purpose is to protect us from the emotional pain we do not wish to feelultimately concluding that it is our unwillingness to be honest with ourselves that leaves us separated from God. This book is a powerful guide to self-discovery. It reminds us that our sole purpose here on earth is to realize our true nature, to remember that we are beings of love and light who have, only for the moment, chosen to hide in darkness. If you have ever questioned your own behavior or been unable to understand the actions or decisions you have made, this book will point you in the direction of your own personal truth, the same truth shared by all of humanity.

A Read for Empathy Collection Choice, chosen by EmpathyLabNew town, new school, but the bully is in Ben's head ...There are 4 things you should know about Ben: 1. He's 12 years old 2. He's the new kid at school3. His special number is 44. He has a bully in his brainSometimes Ben's brain makes him count to 4 to prevent bad things happening. Sometimes it makes him tap or blink in 4s. Mostly it makes the smallest things feel impossible. And with a new school, a moody big brother, an absent dad and a mum battling her own demons, Ben feels more out of control than ever. But then he meets April, and with his new friend, Ben might finally figure out how to stand up to the bully in his brain, once and for all.An authentic and affecting #ownvoices story about living life with OCD, from the inspiring author and mental health activist, Lily Bailey. Perfect for readers of A Kind of Spark and Wonder.***WINNER of the LEWISHAM BOOK AWARD******WINNER of the READING RAMPAGE AWARD******WINNER of the COVENTRY INSPIRATION BOOK AWARDS******WINNER of the WARWICKSHIRE SECONDARY BOOK AWARD*** 'With characters you will take to your heart and never want to leave, this is a heart-warming and joyous read about the importance of empathy and understanding.' The Scotsman'This book deserves to sit alongside Wonder as a modern classic.' Read and Reviewed blog'What Wonder does for people with physical deformity - When I see Blue will, without doubt, do for those with OCD ... this is a story of hope.' Sue Chambers, Waterstones bookseller

'I feel like I'm always ... last. Like I'm running to try and keep up with everyone but it's no good.'April has always marched to the beat of her own drum, but would life be easier if she learned to fit in? Now that she's in Year 8, things have got even worse. She's much more likely to be trying to rescue an animal in need than worrying about who's dating who at school, which April just finds BORING. Plus, her lessons feel like they're in a foreign language, and it suddenly seems impossible to make it through the week without landing in detention.As family worries and classroom romances ramp up, it feels like everyone around her is pulling away - even her best friend Ben. But when the pressure's on, can she find a way to fit in and still be true to herself? An empowering follow up to When I See Blue about finding your place in the world from the inspiring author and mental health activist, Lily Bailey. Perfect for fans of Elle McNicoll.'An authentic and tender look at fitting in when you don't and being true to yourself' - A.M. Dassu'This is a vivid account of being out of step with your peers, not limited to discussions about dyslexia and dyspraxia' - The Guardian'April is one of the best main characters I've come across and you will root for her with your whole heart' - Jennifer Killick