Olivia Castetter – författare

IAN Book of the Year Awards Women''s Fiction Finalist

Heartbreaking and redemptive, Annie''s story reveals the strength of her spirit, the healing power of unconditional love, and the potential of unexpected relationships to teach us to accept ourselves.

When Annie returns to the town where she grew up after twelve years, she plans to house-sit for her mother and take a much-needed break from her stressful job and worsening anxiety. But revisiting the past is never straightforward, and she soon discovers that she can no longer run from the things she''s tried so hard to leave behind.

Her ex-boyfriend Rob, the once-love of her life, is still living in her hometown, and Annie barely has time to process what seeing him again could mean before another surprising figure appears on her friend and mentor''s doorstep. Suddenly, Annie''s quiet sabbatical has turned into a whirlwind of traumatic memories and new romance, and the responsibility of navigating her PTSD without burdening anyone else in her life threatens to overwhelm her.

But even flawed love can help us to heal in unexpected ways, if we can only learn to accept it. Annie''s journey will keep readers glued to the page, brimming with compassion and rooting for her to find the love and peace she deserves.

Battling mental illness and addiction, Katherine''s parents are ill-equipped to deal with the trials of raising a family. Their unhappy relationship implodes on Katherine''s last day of first grade, and the abuse and neglect characteristic of her childhood worsens as her family descends further into poverty. With her mother deep in the clutches of alcoholism, her father missing, and her two older brothers already in foster care, Katherine steps in to care for her younger sister, despite being a child herself.

When social services later intervenes, Katherine and her sister are placed in foster care in the countryside. Her new home and the stable and caring environment her foster mother provides are a far cry from the life she''s always known, yet Katherine''s struggles continue. As she approaches adulthood, reeling from her past and battling loneliness, life continues to beat her down with tough choices, staggering betrayals, and various assaults. For a few years, she''s able to cope by suppressing her memories and turning to self-harm and addiction. However, when she pawns her most cherished possession, she realizes that she''s following in her biological parents'' footsteps, tumbling in a downward spiral of self-destruction. Is it too late for her to escape her family''s generational inertia?

Katherine''s story is one of crippling weakness and breathtaking strength, debilitating self-doubt and defiant determination, self-destruction and healing...and the discovery of what it actually means to be resilient. 

Since 2006, the MeToo Movement has been rocking society, shedding light on the pervasive and growing darkness of hidden sexual abuse and assault. Olivia, like many when they discovered it, found herself an avid supporter of both the movement and the women who were coming forward with their stories. And like many, she still struggled to use those same words for the experiences of her own life, setting aside her memories and instead focusing on those of others.

As an editor of writing focused on abuse survival, Olivia suddenly began softly thinking those words to herself as she worked on others'' manuscripts, until one day she knew it was time to tell her own story of abuse and assault and what life''s really like on the other side.

This is her story.

Love has the power to heal our deepest wounds and help us rediscover the magic of hope.

As Annie''s time in her hometown reaches an end, fractures appear in her whirlwind romance with Rob. Though he surprised her on Christmas morning with a house worthy of her dreams, his expectations for Annie to remain in Stockwood and make a home with him are heavy. Annie realizes she isn''t ready to give up the security of the career, house, and life she''s built for herself in the city in exchange for an uncertain future with Rob. When he confronts her about her wavering commitment on the last day of her sabbatical, they fail to find a compromise.

Back in the city, Annie struggles to set boundaries with her demanding and oversolicitous boss and to find the comfort her insular way of life once provided her. The only sliver of joy in her busy, lonely routine comes after she runs into her ex-boyfriend, Lucas, and they fall back into an easy friendship. As they grow closer, Annie wrestles with guilt over the realization that they both still care about each other. Rob-unaware of Lucas'' presence in her life-suddenly reappears, determined to repair his relationship with Annie. All the feelings Annie had attempted to forget suddenly surface, leaving her conflicted and forced to make an impossible decision.

Will Annie allow herself to take a leap of faith-one that demands the loss of familiarity and predictability-or will she retreat once again into the comfort of her well-established cycle of self-sabotage?

Months after their elopement, Annie and Rob are settling into their new home and married life. It seems they''ve finally left everything that stood between them in the past, but their happily-ever-after is short-lived. When Annie announces she''s pregnant, past issues flare to life, and a disastrous misunderstanding severs their relationship.

As she reels from the end of her marriage, Annie''s friends and family show her she''s never truly alone. Nonetheless, she struggles to find the strength within herself to trust her instincts, compounded by how ill-equipped she feels for motherhood, as she continues to heal from her lifetime of trauma. And when her kind, hardworking ex, Lucas, offers a level of support and comfort she never expected, Annie reconsiders her past romantic decisions.

With her due date rapidly approaching, Annie must learn to trust both others and herself, remembering that sometimes promises bloom in the most unexpected places, and-when kept-these promises can bring unparalleled joy.