One of the most valuable survival guides for men or women recovering from a partner''s affair.Featured on Oprah, 48 Hours, CNN, Fox News, and in USA TodayIn this landmark book, Peggy Vaughan helps us to understand the stages of suspicion, confrontation, and the healing process necessary to recover, including rebuilding self-esteem, the marriage/divorce dilemma, and seeking professional help. Packed with practical, time-tested advice and successful strategies, this authoritative guide reveals:- You are not alone—estimates are that at least 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair.- People from all walks of life have affairs—devoted parents, religious individuals, regardless of income or social class.- Our society contributes to the prevalence of affairs.- An affair does not mean the end of a marriage.- Recovery is fueled by honest, open discussion of the affair.Substantiated by case studies, ongoing research, and the author''s own experience, this updated third edition includes information on the role of the Internet in relationships, shares the words of others who are recovering from affairs, and describes the six-step program for establishing communication between partners that can actually prevent affairs.
From the author of The Monogamy Myth, an essential guide written specifically for married couples to strengthen their relationship and prevent affairs.Based on Peggy Vaughan''s 30 years of work with married couples and the issue of affairs, this new handbook challenges the assumption that monogamy can be taken for granted, and provides the tools for building a strong marriage and preventing affairs.Explaining the need to focus on preventing affairs before there is any threat to a marriage, she draws on her survey of 755 people regarding their beliefs to present "What Won''t Work" and "What Will Work" to prevent affairs.Throughout To Have and to Hold, Vaughan details specific strategies and techniques, emphasizing that:- Relying on attitudes and beliefs is not sufficient to maintain a monogamous relationship over a lifetime.- Focusing on actions and behaviors is far more significant to strengthen a relationship.- Responsible honesty is the single most important factor in preventing affairs.- Everybody (society as a whole) plays a role in supporting couples'' efforts to maintain monogamy.- Parents have a special responsibility to break the pattern for future generations.Four appendices present Vaughan''s survey questionnaire along with detailed breakdowns of responses.