PhishStones – författare

Ever stepped in moose shit and thought, "e;Yep, this pretty much sums up my life"e;?Welcome to Moose Turds and Midlife Crises — the no-filter, side-splitting memoir of a grizzled boomer staring down the back half of life with a crooked grin and a cup of burnt coffee.This isn't your average "e;I found enlightenment on a yoga mat"e; midlife tale. Nope. This is a dirt-under-the-fingernails, deer-in-the-rearview, curse-out-the-universe kind of story — equal parts survival guide and stand-up comedy show set deep in the backwoods of personal chaos.In these pages, you'll find:Wild tales of aging disgracefully in the North CountryOutbursts of sarcastic gold and nostalgic WTF momentsActual moose (and their digestive aftermath)A brutally honest look at marriage, manhood, memory loss, and that weird mole you swear wasn't there last week

What do you get when a foul-mouthed, half-naked, whiskey-chugging baby boomer disappears into the Adirondacks with a Doberman, a stash of weed, and zero f*cks to give?You get Boomer Gone Wild: Shit, Sasquatch & Spiritual Hangovers—a blisteringly funny, brutally honest, and sometimes-nude memoir of surviving nature, aging disgracefully, and flipping off the modern world from the nearest mountaintop.This ain't your average "e;find yourself in the woods"e; story. This is PhishStones unchained—cursing out GPS systems, dodging bears with flaming marshmallow sticks, skinny-dipping in glacier lakes, and accidentally becoming the mythical "e;Naked Sasquatch of Schroon Lake."e;Packed with twisted campfire tales, midlife meltdowns, spiritual misfires, and zero helpful survival tips, this book is for every burned-out soul who's ever fantasized about running off-grid, telling society to suck it, and finding peace (or a hangover) at the bottom of a bourbon bottle in bear country.Whether you're 30, 50, or dead inside, this book will slap you with laughter, spark your wild side, and maybe remind you that life ain't over until you say it is.Grab a copy, light a fire, and howl at the moon with your new favorite boomer outlaw.

Title: The Ghost In The Racket: The Hidden War for the Soul of Virtual Sport Author:PhishStones Genre:Investigative Nonfiction / Technology  / CybercultureThey told us virtual reality was the purest form of competition. That the physicality of the medium—the need to actually swing your arm—would make it uncheatable. They were wrong.The Ghost In The Racket is the shocking result of a two-year deep dive into . When PhishStones, a sixty-year-old former tennis player with a titanium knee and a hacker's curiosity, first stepped onto the virtual court, he discovered a world where opponents returned serves with impossible power and foresaw shots before they were even made. His quest for answers led him far beyond simple glitches, into a clandestine world of technological deception.You think cheating only happens in smoky backroom poker games? Think again. Welcome to the seedy underbelly of VR Tennis Esports, where backhand winners are coded, Bluetooth mods do the dirty work, and "e;fair play"e; is just another marketing slogan.In The Ghost in the Racket, PhishStones rips the lid off the world's fastest-growing VR sport and exposes how some players will do anything—phone spoofers, hacked controllers, shady Discord deals—to climb the ranks. Part memoir, part exposé, part boomer-rage comedy, this book swings harder than a McEnroe meltdown and hits right where it hurts.From behind-the-scenes betrayals to late-night tournaments where you can practically smell the desperation through the headset, PhishStones takes you inside the game the way no one else dares. This isn't just about tennis—it's about truth, tech, and the players haunted by the ghost in their racket.Boomer humor. Raw storytelling. A VR scandal you'll never forget.

Title:Bear Shit and Airstreams: And Adirondack Redemption Author:PhishStones aka David Salmon:Many Mountains, Many Lakes, a Ton of Bears, and a Shitload of Wisdom from the Biggest Park in AmericaBook..From the summit of Mount Marcy to the stench of a bear's breakfast outside your tent, Bear Shit and Airstreams is a raw, hilarious, and unfiltered journey into the wild Adirondacks. PhishStones (David Salmon) delivers a funky baby boomer's redemption story told through mountains, rivers, LSD flashbacks, fried bologna, Christian camps, and more bear turds than you can dodge. Whether you're tent-hopping or glamping in a shiny Airstream, this book will slap you upside the soul and make you laugh your ass off — and maybe even find some spiritual sanity in the shit.Adirondack travel, baby boomer memoir, camping humor, Airstream life, funny mountain stories, wilderness survival, spiritual nature memoir, Christian camp stories, bear encounters, fried bologna road trip..

You're not dead yet. Stop acting like it.If you're over 50 and feel like your best days are behind you—fuck that noise. This book will kick your ass, make you laugh, and show you how to unfuck your life before you croak.No gratitude journals. No bullshit affirmations. No "e;live, laugh, love"e; posters. Just raw, raunchy, no-filter truth from a guy who's been through divorce, debt, depression, and still woke up swinging.PhishStones isn't a guru. He's a 60-year-old fuck-up who figured out that the second half of life can be twice as wild—if you stop giving a damn what anyone thinks.Inside you'll find:· Why regret is a liar and how to use it as rocket fuel· How to fire toxic people (even family)· Why getting a dog beats getting a diagnosis· The truth about sex after 60 (it ain't dead, it's just slower)· How to write a fuck-it list instead of a bucket list· Why you don't need closure—you need a compass· And the one savage thing you can do today to feel alive againWhether you're divorced, dumped, dried up, or just dying of boredom in a cul-de-sac with a lawn mower and a dead marriage—this book is your wake-up call.You've got time. You've got stories. You've still got moves, even if they involve Bengay and grunting like a wounded bear.Stop waiting for permission. Stop acting your age. Start unfucking your life.

Book DescriptionPHISHSTONES: From Punk to RedemptionChaos. Addiction. Survival. One Man's Reckoning.This is not a polished celebrity memoir.This is a survival story.David "e;PhishStones"e; Salmon grew up in a world of rebellion, music, bad decisions, and the kind of chaos that can either destroy a man or forge him into something harder than steel. From the reckless energy of punk-rock youth to the brutal realities of addiction, loss, and personal collapse, this memoir pulls no punches.There are no filters here.No sugar-coated redemption arc.Just the raw truth about what happens when a man hits the bottom — and decides he's not staying there.Set against a backdrop of rock-and-roll culture, personal battles, and the long road back to meaning, PhishStones is a story about fighting through darkness, refusing to quit, and discovering that redemption is not given… it's earned.This book is for anyone who has ever:• walked through hell and kept going• battled addiction or self-destruction• fought to rebuild a broken life• believed that second chances are possibleBrutally honest, darkly funny, and deeply human, PHISHSTONES: From Punk to Redemption is proof that even after the worst storms, a man can still stand up and face the world again.

The narrative begins with a sound: the whistle of a bullet passing near the author's head. This is not the opening of an action movie, but the prelude to a nightmare. Without explanation, without charges being read, and without the basic due process that forms the bedrock of American civic mythology, the author is shot at, tased, savagely beaten, and processed into oblivion. From the very first pages, Still Here dismantles any comfortable illusions about "e;innocent until proven guilty."e; The protagonist is not processed as a suspect; he is processed as inventory, as a problem to be managed, and ultimately, as raw material for a bureaucracy of pain. The physical torture is methodical and state-sanctioned. The centerpiece of this horror is the restraint chair. PhishStones spares no detail in describing this medieval-looking device: the cold metal, the straps cinched to the point of cutting off circulation, the complete and total immobilization designed to transform discomfort into agony, and agony into a neurological reset. Sessions lasting twelve, sixteen hours. The involuntary muscle spasms, the loss of bladder control, the point where coherent thought disintegrates into animal sound. Crucially, he emphasizes the banality of the evil: guards—ordinary people—perform these acts as routine procedure. Nurses conduct "e;wellness checks"e; on a man actively being tortured, checking a box that says "e;responsive"e; before walking away. The system isn't rogue; it is functioning exactly as designed, with paperwork that justifies every moment of suffering.

Book DescriptionI Choose MyselfBy PhishStones---For sixty years, he lived for everyone else. Now he's finally ready to live for himself.On the outside, he had it all: the prestigious career, the beautiful wife, the perfect house, the respect of his peers. He followed every rule he was given, checked every box, became everything everyone expected him to be.Inside, he was empty.I Choose Myself is the unflinching story of one man's journey from a lifetime of people-pleasing to the hard-won freedom of authenticity. With raw honesty and profound insight, a man in his sixties looks back on the decades he spent wearing masks—the humor that kept people at a distance, the approval addiction that drove every decision, the marriage that looked right on paper but felt hollow in practice.But this is not a story of regret. It is a story of awakening.When the carefully constructed life finally cracks, what emerges is not despair but possibility. Through the painful work of unlearning inherited rules, sitting alone with long-buried truths, and choosing discomfort over the safety of staying stuck, he begins to discover who he actually is beneath the performance.At the heart of the journey is his evolving relationship with his mother—a woman on her own parallel path of becoming. Their conversations, spanning decades, reveal the generational nature of the masks we wear and the courage it takes to finally take them off.From the emptiness of achieving everything and feeling nothing, to the terror of being truly seen, to the liberation of building a life that finally feels like his own—this is a book for anyone who has ever wondered if they're living someone else's life.It's for the people-pleasers, the perfectionists, the ones who learned to disappear before they knew what it meant to exist. It's for the men who were taught that real strength means suffering in silence. It's for anyone, at any age, who suspects it's not too late to become themselves.Because here's the truth the narrator discovers: you're not broken. You're just buried. And the work of excavation—that's the work of a lifetime. And it's worth it.There is no finish line. There is no final version. There is only the journey, the process, the endless becoming.And it's enough. It's more than enough. It's everything.I am no longer waiting to be chosen.I choose myself.From the emptiness of achieving everything and feeling nothing, to the terror of being truly seen, to the liberation of building a life that finally feels like his own—this is a book for anyone who has ever wondered if they're living someone else's life.It's for the people-pleasers, the perfectionists, the ones who learned to disappear before they knew what it meant to exist. It's for the men who were taught that real strength means suffering in silence. It's for anyone, at any age, who suspects it's not too late to become themselves.Because here's the truth the narrator discovers: you're not broken. You're just buried. And the work of excavation—that's the work of a lifetime. And it's worth it.There is no finish line. There is no final version. There is only the journey, the process, the endless becoming.And it's enough. It's more than enough. It's everything.I am no longer waiting to be chosen.I choose myself.

Some summers change your life.This one nearly destroyed the campsite first.PhishStones, his loyal dog Jerry, and his girlfriend Mia head to Indian Lake dreaming of a peaceful Adirondack summer filled with campfires, wooden boat rides, friendly neighbors, and quiet sunsets over the water.For a brief moment, they actually get it.Then the Adirondacks fight back.A massive storm crashes through camp and destroys their beloved Airstream trailer, leaving the trio scrambling to survive mud season with nothing but stubbornness, bad ideas, and a rapidly collapsing backup plan. Their replacement? An inflatable tent that doesn't even survive two days before Jerry accidentally pops it into retirement.What follows is a chaotic, hilarious, emotional summer of total wilderness mayhem:Sinking campsites and nonstop mudLate-night boat rides with unforgettable lake neighborsWild Adirondack stormsBroken gear, bad decisions, and survival by improvisationA rescued baby raccoon they accidentally injure… then nurse back to health and eventually keep as one of their ownAnd a growing realization that nature always wins eventuallyBut beneath the humor and disaster lies something deeper: friendship, resilience, love, and the strange beauty of rebuilding life when everything falls apart.Raw, funny, heartfelt, and packed with unforgettable Adirondack atmosphere, PhishStones Campout Disaster: A Chaotic Adirondacks Misadventures is a wild ride through one unforgettable summer where chaos became family and disaster became memory.

Six thirteen-year-olds. Forty-six Adirondack peaks. One impossible adventure in the summer of 1964.Danny, Mikey, Charlie, Penny, Meg, and Artie are tired of being told where to go, what to do, and who they are supposed to become. Armed with little more than oversized canvas packs, a battered paper map, a compass, and the dangerous confidence of kids who believe they are invincible, they leave Buffalo behind and disappear into the Adirondack wilderness.Their plan sounds simple: climb all forty-six High Peaks before anyone can stop them.But the mountains are nothing like the lines on a map.What begins as a reckless escape quickly becomes a brutal fight against freezing rain, flooded rivers, black flies, hunger, injuries, wild animals, failing equipment, and the crushing realization that no one may be coming to save them. Every summit demands a price. Every mistake follows them deeper into the forest. And as the group begins to break apart under fear, exhaustion, and buried secrets, they must decide what matters more—the dream that brought them there or the friends keeping them alive.Set in an era before cell phones, GPS, and instant rescue, 46 in 64 or Die Trying is a gripping coming-of-age adventure about courage, loyalty, survival, and the wild decisions that can change a life forever.The Adirondacks will test their bodies, expose their secrets, and take something from each of them.But if they survive, they will return as legends.A powerful wilderness adventure for readers who love survival stories, unforgettable friendships, historical fiction, and the dangerous freedom of a world that no longer exists.