Stephen Wildish – författare

Life is much too short to give any real amount of f*cks. Who is this book for?People who give too many f*cks to things they shouldn’t give a f*ck about. You have a finite amount of f*cks, spend them wisely.This book contains the word f*ck over 44 thousand times, which is a world record**Probably, I don’t give a f*ck if that’s true or not and I couldn’t be f*cked to count them.

Adulting (verb): To do grown-up things and hold responsibilities such as having a job, paying rent or doing laundry. A verb used exclusively by those who adult less than 50 per cent of the time.If you've forgotten to pay your council tax, you’re hungover at work (again) and you’ve been living off pesto pasta for the past seventeen days, it's time to adult.Authentic grown-up Stephen Wildish has produced a book for everyone who feels they need assistance getting through the confusing landscape of the real world.

Grasping how to swear is a crucial skill to any English-speaker, but it can be a tricky business. Owing to the rich and complex history of swearing, a single word can have a host of different meanings – from expressing surprise, excitement, anger, celebration, disgust or simply that you’re fucked off. If you don’t get it right, you could really be in the shit.How to Swear, by graphic artist and swearing-connoisseur Stephen Wildish, uses all manner of charts and flow diagrams to teach you all you need to know, including: the building blocks of an effective insult; the adverbial uses of various types of animal excrement (horseshit, apeshit etc); and the different parts of speech a swear word can fulfil: ‘Fucking fuck, the fucking fucker’s fucked’. This charming (and rude) book will take you right to the heart of the wondrous world of swearing, with a lot of laughs on the way.

When in doubt, call Dad. Featuring flowcharts, illustrations and graphics, this guide will help you master every aspect of being a Dad and make time for what really matters… after all that thermostat isn’t going to obsess over itself.With simple steps to help you construct the perfect dad joke, a scientific formula to determine which dance moves will embarrass your children the most and a chart to establish the perfect (read: useless) fact for any occasion, this is the ultimate guide to being a dad.Learn how to:Figure out the perfect hobby for you: is it golf, fishing, or growing vegetables?Collect thousands of old cables and out-of-date DIY magazines.Spend more time in the shed than in your own house.Master the mindful art of packing luggage into any car boot.Perfectly pair your socks and sandals.And more!

Grasping how to swear is a crucial skill to any English-speaker, but it can be a tricky business. Owing to the rich and complex history of swearing, a single word can have a host of different meanings – from expressing surprise, excitement, anger, celebration, disgust or simply that you’re fucked off. If you don’t get it right, you could really be in the shit.How to Swear, by graphic artist and swearing-connoisseur Stephen Wildish, uses all manner of charts and flow diagrams to teach you all you need to know, including: the building blocks of an effective insult; the adverbial uses of various types of animal excrement (horseshit, apeshit etc); and the different parts of speech a swear word can fulfil: ‘Fucking fuck, the fucking fucker’s fucked’. This charming (and rude) book will take you right to the heart of the wondrous world of swearing, with a lot of laughs on the way.

Adulting (verb): To do grown-up things and hold responsibilities such as having a job, paying rent or doing laundry. A verb used exclusively by those who adult less than 50 per cent of the time.If you've forgotten to pay your council tax, you’re hungover at work (again) and you’ve been living off pesto pasta for the past seventeen days, it's time to adult.Authentic grown-up Stephen Wildish has produced a book for everyone who feels they need assistance getting through the confusing landscape of the real world.

Have I told you I'm vegan yet?Who is this book for? It’s for vegans, people who want to know about vegans, vegetarians who dabble in the dark arts of soya milk, meat-reducers and full carnivores looking to take the piss out of vegans. What's in this book?Answers to questions like: 'What is a vegan, wait, I don't eat gluten, am I a vegan?!'; pie charts to show how much conversation time with non-vegans will focus on how you're getting your protein; useful recipes and advice (such as how to work on your smugface); inspirational(ish) quotes and much more.What isn’t in this book? Arguments for or against veganism; it’s obvious that you should be vegan and here is how to do it. How to Vegan is the hilarious new book from the infographic genius Stephen Wildish, author of How to Swear and How to Adult.

Can’t we all just get oolong?We are a nation of tea drinkers. 84% of Brits drink tea every day, and we get through 100 million cups daily. When a survey asked us what the country’s national emblem should be, the most resounding answer, with 32 per cent of the vote, was a cup of tea.And yet… most of us are doing it wrong.Enter tea-drinking expert and infusion connoisseur, Stephen Wildish. His complete guide to the fine art of tea includes: brewing guides for the proportionally challenged; simple to follow but desperately important rules (such as: the tea-bag and milk should never touch); cooling guides (charting the exact millisecond when the temperature of tea goes from hotter than the sun to stone cold); taxonomies of tea and much more. It is the perfect gift for every tea lover.

Life is much too short to give any real amount of f*cks. Who is this book for?People who give too many f*cks to things they shouldn’t give a f*ck about. You have a finite amount of f*cks, spend them wisely.This book contains the word f*ck over 44 thousand times, which is a world record**Probably, I don’t give a f*ck if that’s true or not and I couldn’t be f*cked to count them.

Have I told you I'm vegan yet?Who is this book for? It’s for vegans, people who want to know about vegans, vegetarians who dabble in the dark arts of soya milk, meat-reducers and full carnivores looking to take the piss out of vegans. What's in this book?Answers to questions like: 'What is a vegan, wait, I don't eat gluten, am I a vegan?!'; pie charts to show how much conversation time with non-vegans will focus on how you're getting your protein; useful recipes and advice (such as how to work on your smugface); inspirational(ish) quotes and much more.What isn’t in this book? Arguments for or against veganism; it’s obvious that you should be vegan and here is how to do it. How to Vegan is the hilarious new book from the infographic genius Stephen Wildish, author of How to Swear and How to Adult.

Can’t we all just get oolong?We are a nation of tea drinkers. 84% of Brits drink tea every day, and we get through 100 million cups daily. When a survey asked us what the country’s national emblem should be, the most resounding answer, with 32 per cent of the vote, was a cup of tea.And yet… most of us are doing it wrong.Enter tea-drinking expert and infusion connoisseur, Stephen Wildish. His complete guide to the fine art of tea includes: brewing guides for the proportionally challenged; simple to follow but desperately important rules (such as: the tea-bag and milk should never touch); cooling guides (charting the exact millisecond when the temperature of tea goes from hotter than the sun to stone cold); taxonomies of tea and much more. It is the perfect gift for every tea lover.

Find out if your cat is Pussolini or Mother PurresaIn ancient Egypt cats were viewed as gods and in modern day they are no stranger to worship as the internet's favourite animal, but have you ever stopped to consider the true nature of the smug little creatures we so willingly welcome into our homes? Is your cat a dazzling Dolly Purrton in the making? Or a hateful Hannibal Lickter waiting to strike? Find out with this killer purrsonality quiz. With 16 personality profiles and tips on how to live in harmony with your cat, whatever their result, find out if your furry housemate dreams of world peace or world domination.

Find out if your cat is Pussolini or Mother PurresaIn ancient Egypt cats were viewed as gods and in modern day they are no stranger to worship as the internet's favourite animal, but have you ever stopped to consider the true nature of the smug little creatures we so willingly welcome into our homes? Is your cat a dazzling Dolly Purrton in the making? Or a hateful Hannibal Lickter waiting to strike? Find out with this killer purrsonality quiz. With 16 personality profiles and tips on how to live in harmony with your cat, whatever their result, find out if your furry housemate dreams of world peace or world domination.

The perfect stocking filler or secret santa gift Headache? Confusion? Waves of nausea and regret?Luckily, thanks to this handy book, a hangover no longer has to mean a ruined day.Use infographics and flowcharts to diagnose which hangover type you are suffering from and find the best treatments to help you on the road back to full health:The bottomless pitThe 'I'm still drunk'The ExorcistThe emotional boomerangThe lucky escapeThe undeservedIf you are spraying the walls with last night's kebab and this morning's Berocca, you are going to need a very big glass of water...With simple hangover cures and advice on how to tackle the clean-up (social AND physical) this book is the perfect remedy for all your 'morning after' regrets.

The perfect stocking filler or secret santa gift Headache? Confusion? Waves of nausea and regret?Luckily, thanks to this handy book, a hangover no longer has to mean a ruined day.Use infographics and flowcharts to diagnose which hangover type you are suffering from and find the best treatments to help you on the road back to full health:The bottomless pitThe 'I'm still drunk'The ExorcistThe emotional boomerangThe lucky escapeThe undeservedIf you are spraying the walls with last night's kebab and this morning's Berocca, you are going to need a very big glass of water...With simple hangover cures and advice on how to tackle the clean-up (social AND physical) this book is the perfect remedy for all your 'morning after' regrets.

Apocalypse.... Now?Prepare for every possible end of days with this essential survival guide.Covering crucial survival skills, the ideal Plan A and Plan B, tips for survival on the road as you travel from chaos to salvation, and assembling the perfect team, this hilarious book has everything you need when Doomsday strikes.Includes: Zombies, Alien Invasion, Nuclear Fallout, Climate Crisis, Asteroids, Viruses, Robots and more!

Apocalypse.... Now?Prepare for every possible end of days with this essential survival guide.Covering crucial survival skills, the ideal Plan A and Plan B, tips for survival on the road as you travel from chaos to salvation, and assembling the perfect team, this hilarious book has everything you need when Doomsday strikes.Includes: Zombies, Alien Invasion, Nuclear Fallout, Climate Crisis, Asteroids, Viruses, Robots and more!

When in doubt, call Dad. Featuring flowcharts, illustrations and graphics, this guide will help you master every aspect of being a Dad and make time for what really matters… after all that thermostat isn’t going to obsess over itself.With simple steps to help you construct the perfect dad joke, a scientific formula to determine which dance moves will embarrass your children the most and a chart to establish the perfect (read: useless) fact for any occasion, this is the ultimate guide to being a dad.Learn how to:Figure out the perfect hobby for you: is it golf, fishing, or growing vegetables?Collect thousands of old cables and out-of-date DIY magazines.Spend more time in the shed than in your own house.Master the mindful art of packing luggage into any car boot.Perfectly pair your socks and sandals.And more!

What's brown and sticky?A Stick!Featuring infographics, illustrations and useless trivia about the history of the toilet, this hilarious guide will provide you with endless hours of entertainment while you sit on your porcelain throne.With a flowchart to help you work out how to remove skid marks effectively, dietary advice for the least disgusting number twos and a beginners guide to categorising your bowel movements, this is the ultimate guide to visiting the toilet!Learn how to:Remove bad smells from the bathroomScroll through 8 hours of TikTok while everyone else in the house waits to use the bathroom.Perfectly balance your intake of Imodium and laxatives to optimise your pooingDeal with difficult moments in the toilet after drinking too many pints the night beforeSchedule your bowl movements so you can poo at work and avoid having to sit at your desk as much as possible

What's brown and sticky?A Stick!Featuring infographics, illustrations and useless trivia about the history of the toilet, this hilarious guide will provide you with endless hours of entertainment while you sit on your porcelain throne.With a flowchart to help you work out how to remove skid marks effectively, dietary advice for the least disgusting number twos and a beginners guide to categorising your bowel movements, this is the ultimate guide to visiting the toilet!Learn how to:Remove bad smells from the bathroomScroll through 8 hours of TikTok while everyone else in the house waits to use the bathroom.Perfectly balance your intake of Imodium and laxatives to optimise your pooingDeal with difficult moments in the toilet after drinking too many pints the night beforeSchedule your bowl movements so you can poo at work and avoid having to sit at your desk as much as possible

OOO going forward.Congratulations! The 9–5 grind is behind you and you’ve finally found the perfect work-life balance … now what?This ultimate infographic guide to transitioning into retirement will drill down into the specifics and guide you through your retirement with tips on:Spending 24/7 with your partner.Getting really, really into birdwatching.Keeping your grandkids happy for a few hours (and then handing them back).Finding the perfect bungalow for you.