Thomas Blaikie – författare

A witty yet practical short guide to modern manners that, like Lynne Truss, takes a subject often treated in a stuffy, high-handed way and deals with it lightly and humorously.Until recently, social conduct (as it was known), was illogical but easy. There were rules, and everybody knew and adhered to them. `Don’t hold your knife like a pen.’ `Offer to pass your neighbour the salt/pepper/water/butter. Don’t wait for them to ask.’ `When you have finished, leave your knife and fork at six o’clock/four o’clock/nine o’clock with the prongs of the fork turned up/turned down.’Scarcely a trace remains now of this bizarre labyrinthine world of `manners’. `Come as you are,’ we say. `Be yourself.’ But the age of emails and metrosexuality has thrown up a whole new set of social dilemmas. We don’t know what to do. Our free-and-easy ways have left us in a vacuum of uncertainty and embarrassment.Take the nightmare of social kissing. How many times? In what order? Where? At what stage of an acquaintanceship? What about thanking? Do you have to thank at all? What do you do if a guest wants to smoke in your house? What do you wear to a dinner party? Do you have to bring a bottle? How do you deal with vegans?We just don’t know how to behave any more. Something has got to be done, and Thomas Blaikie, author of `You Look Awfully Like the Queen’, is the man to do it. He’ll tell you how to tip, how and when to `drop in’ on a friend, how to send condolences (is email good enough? will a text message do?), how to avoid being a party bore, how to react politely to flirtation from someone of the opposite sexual persuasion, and myriad other 21st-century social traumas.

Following the success of `You Look Awfully Like the Queen’, this is a second anthology of hilarious and touching royal anecdotes, collected by Thomas Blaikie.An unfortunate culture clash occurred when a Geordie councillor was invited to one of the Queen’s informal lunches. As is the old-fashioned custom there were two puddings. The Queen enquired, `Would you like cake or meringue?’ `No, y’er not wrang, Your Majesty,’ the councillor replied. 'I'll have the cake.'On a Royal visit to St Albans Abbey in January 2006, the Duchess of Cornwall spied a ladder in a corner and attempted to make an unscheduled ascent. `Not in those shoes,’ her lady-in-waiting said firmly, bringing the runaway Duchess back into line.`It’s for my nanny,’ Prince Harry thoughtfully explained to a somewhat wide-eyed assistant at Selfridges as she popped his purchase into a bag. It was a maribou-trimmed thong.The Royal Family has been a source of curiosity and amusement for centuries, and in this delightful little book, Thomas Blaikie takes a second fond look at the UK’s first family. Published to mark the Queen’s 80th birthday, this second instalment includes more stories of our favourite royals, along with newer additions to the adult clan, including the Duchess of Cornwall and Princes William and Harry.

For fans of the `Windsors’ and `Now we are Sixty’: a beautifully illustrated collection of amusing and affectionate stories from inside the royal family.Arriving at the theatre, the Queen and the Queen Mother appeared to be having words. `Who do you think you are?’ demanded the Queen Mother. `The Queen, Mummy, the Queen.’About twenty years ago the Guardian first published two camp anecdotes about the Queen Mother. Readers reeled to see stories actually printed in a national newspaper that until then had had only an underground existence in certain circles. After that, tales about the royal family became respectable; they were also, quite rightly, believed. Taken as a whole they reflect the contradictory roles we like royalty to fulfil: unworldly and impossibly regal or engagingly domesticated and just like us, or camp, worldly and outrageous.In this affectionate tribute Thomas Blaikie has gathered together a compendium of stories, many of them never published before, which provide access to a unique world. How exactly does a Queen react when she finds her footmen draped in her jewels? What does she do to amuse herself as she whiles away the hours sitting for her portrait? And how did the Duchess of Windsor and the Queen Mother really get on? This beautifully illustrated book answers these questions and poses many more in its celebration of the diverse personalities of the House of Windsor.

This specially updated edition, released to mark the passing of the late and much-missed monarch, is a collection of warm, amusing recollections from the royal household celebrating the lighter side of palace life.‘What do you do?’ a guest inquired of the Queen at a Buckingham Palace garden party. ‘I had no idea what to say,’ the Queen told friends afterwards.As the longest reigning monarch of this realm, the Queen represented stability, hope and continuity. We loved her because she was always there, didn’t make a fuss and was dedicated in her duty even in old age. But alongside her stoic and sensible exterior, she was also renowned for a playful and keen sense of humour, as seen when she delighted audiences all around the world by inviting Paddington Bear for tea to celebrate her Platinum Jubilee.How exactly did the Queen reactwhen she found her footman draped in her jewels? What did she do to amuse herself to while away the hours spent sitting for her portrait? How did she respond when faced with a plate full of Mexican food?This characterful, illustrated book answers these questions and poses many more in its affectionate celebration of the diverse personalities of the House of Windsor. Gathered together in this amusing tribute are a compendium of stories which provide access to the unique world of the royals.

‘What do you do?’ a guest inquired of the Queen at a Buckingham Palace garden party. ‘I had no idea what to say,’ the Queen told friends afterwards.  This specially updated edition, released to mark the passing of the late and much-missed monarch, is a collection of warm, amusing recollections from the royal household celebrating the lighter side of palace life.As the longest reigning monarch of this realm, the Queen represented stability, hope and continuity. We loved her because she was always there, didn’t make a fuss and was dedicated in her duty even in old age. But alongside her stoic and sensible exterior, she was also renowned for a playful and keen sense of humour, as seen when she delighted audiences all around the world by inviting Paddington Bear for tea to celebrate her Platinum Jubilee.How exactly did the Queen reactwhen she found her footman draped in her jewels? What did she do to amuse herself to while away the hours spent sitting for her portrait? How did she respond when faced with a plate full of Mexican food?This characterful, illustrated book answers these questions and poses many more in its affectionate celebration of the diverse personalities of the House of Windsor. Gathered together in this amusing tribute are a compendium of stories which provide access to the unique world of the royals.