Viz Magazine – författare

As D:Ream famously sang in their 1994 chart-topper, “Things Can Only Get Bigger” … and here, to prove how right they were is the 2019 Viz annual The Pieman’s Wig. Hot on the heels of last year’s biggest ever Viz annual, this year’s is even biggester, with 220 pages of * Cartoons: Fat Slags, Roger Mellie, 8 Ace, Mrs Brady, Big Vern and many more* Articles: Sex Robots, the Joy of Flatpack Furniture, Stephen Hawkins’ A Brief History of Time Travel and Who’s Who in the 1970s School Playground.* Adventure stories: Pest Force Alaska, Tiny Cox the Pocket Physicist, Drill Sergeant Jumbo and The Binman that Fear Forgot.Plus more hilarious letters, Top Tips and spoof ads than you can shake a stick 10% bigger than last year’s at.Now in its 33rd year, the Viz annual is as much a part of the festive season as the Queen’s Speech*, overcooked sprouts, and ironic Christmas jumpers. And The Pieman’s Wig is funnier than all of those things. Except for ironic Christmas jumpers, which really are very funny indeed.*Her majesty still alive at the time of going to press.

1979 was a year of momentous events. In Britain, it began with the so-called Winter of Discontent, as rubbish piled high in the streets and the dead went unburied. Later, guerillas stormed the US Embassy in Tehran, Margaret Thatcher entered Downing Street, and Sid Vicious died of a heroin overdose while on trial for stabbing his girlfriend to death. Elsewhere, murderous dictator Saddam Hussein rose to power in Iraq, America’s Three Mile Island nuclear plant went into meltdown, and there was an anthrax epidemic in Russia following an accident at a biological weapons plant.But it’s all swings and roundabouts, because 1979 also saw the first issue of Viz Comic going on sale. And now, with a rousing brass fanfare to celebrate its 40th year as the country’s most flatulent magazine, Viz is puffing out its cheeks to release its latest annual - The Trumpeter’s Lips.Within the 226 pages of this lavishly produced hardback you will find the very best bits from issues 262-271, including*    Cartoons: The Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, Mrs Brady Old Lady, Roger Mellie, Eight Ace, Buster Gonad, Big Vern and many, many more*    Informative features: Let’s Go Dogging!, Secrets of the White House Shite House, How Did Henry VIII Mow His Lawn?, Who’s Who at a Car Boot Sale, and  A Day in the Life of a Model Railway Enthusiast*    Edge-of-your-seat adventures: In Search of the Giant Squid of Sumatra, The Crown Jewels Mystery, Wally Walton’s Emergency Scorpion Squad and Wall to Wall Carpet Warehouse, Ballet Nurse on a Pony, Pip of the Peloton, and Bad Bob the Randy Wonder Dog*    More articles, spoof ads, Readers’ Letters and Top Tips than you could shake a really big stick atJust like our rubbish and dead were piled up in the streets four decades ago, Viz - The Trumpeter’s Lips will be piled up in shops and internet retailers this Christmas, guaranteeing a “Winter of This Content” (as specified above) for everyone.

The last 12 months have been the strangest anyone can remember; all our lives have been turned upside down. We were unable to meet and hold our loved ones. Our right to travel at home and abroad was suspended. The contestants on University Challenge had plastic screens between them. But it’s comforting to know that amid all the turmoil, some things remained unchanged. And Viz Comic was one of them.And we’re determined to bring normality back to all our lives with this, our brand new annual. Viz Comic - The Copper’s Torch is the same hefty 226 pages as its predecessors have been for many years. Not only that, but the price remains the same at a paltry £12.99. And to further add to the sense of normality, the book is packed full of all the usual stuff, including…•Action packed adventure: The 999 Emergency Bomb Squad, The Adventures of Robin of Sherwood, and high-octane thrills with The Topless Speed Freaks.•Informative features: Everything you need to know about Dragons, the blood and guts story of the Colosseum, the toileting facilities of the Tour de France, and the horror of what happens when pets go big.•Letterbocks, Top Tips, Roger’s Profanisaurus and all your favourite cartoon characters.So this Christmas, let The Copper’s Torch shine a warming light of happiness and hope into your life, or at least into the life of someone in the tricky £10- £15 present bracket.

This last year has been one of great turmoil as wars, epidemics and extreme climate events have ravaged the globe. Sometimes it has felt as if the old certainties that have shored up our worldview for so long are being swept away in an unstoppable torrent of disaster, chaos, and disarray.But one thing has stolidly and steadfastly resisted the foaming tides of time: Viz. No matter what cataclysms and catastrophes lay waste to our fragile planet, the potty-mouthed comic's loyal readers know they can expect an annual packed full of stuff about toilets, second-rate celebrities and unfeasibly large testicles to take their mind off oncoming Armageddon. And this year - as Viz's latest annual The Zookeeper's Boot goes on sale - is no exception to that rule.A stout and glossy 226-page hardback, The Zookeeper's Boot is stuffed with the hilarious stuff that has made Viz the country's fourth* or fifth** favourite humorous magazine (* ** possibly sixth) for well over four decades... *Edge-of-seat Adventures: Jack Black to the Future, The Titanic Mystery, The Death of Nelson and Bad Bob the Randy Wonderdog*Cartoons: The Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, Biffa Bacon, Mrs Brady Old Lady, Johnny Fartpants, The Real Ale Twats and Roger Mellie*Readers' letters and Top Tips, spoof ads, quizzes, games, Roger's Profanisaurus and much moreSo this Christmas, let The Zookeeper's Boot tread its muck across your festive threshold (and those of all your friends, relatives and acquaintances), spreading its merry bouquet wherever it goes.

Back in 1922, when Howard Carter first smashed his way into the tomb of long-dead Egyptian King Tutankhamun, the guttering candle in his hand illuminated a scene of unimaginable splendour. “Can you see anything?” asked Lord Carnarvon.“Yes! Wonderful things!” responded a breathless Carter.Fast forward just over a century, and any adventurer opening a copy of Viz - The Barber’s Pole will be similarly astounded by the comedy gold they will find haphazardly piled up within its covers. Because just like the tomb of an Egyptian Pharaoh of the 18th Dynasty, the 226 pages within its stout and glossy covers are packed with priceless treasures.It’s the sort of 24-carrot comedy gold that has made Viz the country’s fourth* or fifth** favourite humorous magazine (* ** possibly sixth) for well over four decades… * Edge-of-seat Adventures: Jack Black and His Dog Silver, Who’s Who in a Medieval Plague Village, Motorhead’s Christmas Adventure, and Bad Bob the Randy Wonderdog.* Shocking scandals  about your favourite showbiz stars, Scotch eggs, Deepfake Porn, Tony Blair, and your chance to become a Crypto-Billionaire.* Cartoons: The Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, Biffa Bacon, Mrs Brady Old Lady, Johnny Fartpants, The Real Ale Twats, Roger Mellie, and Raffles the Gentleman Thug* Readers’ letters and Top Tips, spoof ads, quizzes, games, things to cut out and make, and much more. Obviously, at this point we would like to point out that, unlike King Tut’s burial place, there is no real evidence that Viz has ever been the subject of a deadly curse, placed upon it three thousand years ago by a sinister, hooded priest of the God Thoth. And we consider it very unlikely indeed that anyone who dares to break open the cover of Viz - The Barber’s Pole will simply drop dead from unexplained causes - as Lord Carnarvon did a year to the day after breaking the seal on Tutunkhamun’s tomb. Sorry, no refunds.

Roger’s Profanisaurus has long been one of the most popular sections in Viz Comic. And now, as the magazine celebrates its 45th year disgracing the shelves of shops in Britain and around the world, we’re pushing out our beefiest ever volume of foulage - Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited.Each issue of Britain’s funniest* magazine sees readers suggesting more hilarious definitions to add to our potty-mouthed dictionary of rude words, filthy phrases and appalling euphemisms. And now we’ve brought the whole thing together in this tastefully designed 700-page cistern-smasher of a book - Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited. (*publisher’s estimate)Containing more words than the whole of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (no, really), Roger’s Profanisaurus : Turtleshead Revisited is a filthy romp through the filthiest (and funniest) sewers of the English language, with each eye-popping definition exhaustively cross-referenced for greater clarity. If you don’t reach for your copy next time you’re applying for a job, writing a wedding speech, or roughing out a police statement, you really will be missing a trick.