Starting a new job is always stressful (especially when you don't particularly want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J. W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. Because he is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is in fact a front for a deeply sinister organisation that has a mighty peculiar agenda. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins. Mister Tom Holt, Master of the Comic Fantasy Novel, cordially invites you to join him in his world of madness by reading his next hilarious masterpiece.

'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - MAIL ON SUNDAY'Frothy, fast and funny' - SCOTLAND ON SUNDAYColin Hollinghead is a young man going nowhere fast. Working for his dad might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but starting at the bottom in the widget-making industry has somehow lost its appeal. And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help. Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help.Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative ... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFXEver been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be offering to someone like you. The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long-serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook ...It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like J.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into. And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to 'pest' control ...Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - Mail on Sunday'Frothy, fast and funny' - Scotland on SundayJ.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team. Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler - that's always going awol. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.The third book to follow the hilarious adventures of Paul Carpenter - Tom Holt at his inventive best.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'Tom Holt's comic fantasy is a great, uplifting read, fit to grace any reader's book collection' - Waterstones Books Quarterly'Holt's quirky characters and whimsical voice successfully infuse life into this entertaining romantic comedy' - Publishers WeeklyIt touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together.Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly.It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.A madcap comic fantasy from one of Britain's funniest writers.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'Holt is, as usual, absurd, funny, and light-handed enough with the completely ridiculous bits to keep the story moving, assuring that the reader doesn't actually notice how bizarre the story has become, or how tangled the mystery is, until it's nearly done.' - Booklist'Uniquely twisted . . . cracking gags.' - GuardianThere are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not. Not the ones that contain traces of magic.Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never backtalked him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defence, that was her job. But when 'Take the next right' turned into 'Excuse me,' that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a SatNav isn't a SatNav. Sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.Another slice of fantastic comic TOMfoolery.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

Starting a new job is always stressful (especially when you don't particularly want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J. W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. Because he is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is in fact a front for a deeply sinister organisation that has a mighty peculiar agenda. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins. Mister Tom Holt, Master of the Comic Fantasy Novel, cordially invites you to join him in his world of madness by reading his next hilarious masterpiece.

'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - MAIL ON SUNDAY'Frothy, fast and funny' - SCOTLAND ON SUNDAYColin Hollinghead is a young man going nowhere fast. Working for his dad might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but starting at the bottom in the widget-making industry has somehow lost its appeal. And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help. Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help.Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative ... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFXEver been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be offering to someone like you. The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long-serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook ...It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like J.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into. And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to 'pest' control ...Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - Mail on Sunday'Frothy, fast and funny' - Scotland on SundayJ.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team. Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler - that's always going awol. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.The third book to follow the hilarious adventures of Paul Carpenter - Tom Holt at his inventive best.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'Tom Holt's comic fantasy is a great, uplifting read, fit to grace any reader's book collection' - Waterstones Books Quarterly'Holt's quirky characters and whimsical voice successfully infuse life into this entertaining romantic comedy' - Publishers WeeklyIt touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together.Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly.It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.A madcap comic fantasy from one of Britain's funniest writers.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side

'Holt is, as usual, absurd, funny, and light-handed enough with the completely ridiculous bits to keep the story moving, assuring that the reader doesn't actually notice how bizarre the story has become, or how tangled the mystery is, until it's nearly done.' - Booklist'Uniquely twisted . . . cracking gags.' - GuardianThere are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not. Not the ones that contain traces of magic.Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never backtalked him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defence, that was her job. But when 'Take the next right' turned into 'Excuse me,' that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a SatNav isn't a SatNav. Sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.Another slice of fantastic comic TOMfoolery.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side