On Purpose – serie

An honest guide to breaking up and breaking through from the bestselling author of Single on Purpose, John Kim.

Every breakup is painful. Yet it is also a transformation. A breaking down and breaking through to a new version of who you are now, after you have severed ties. Nothing will change you like a broken heart. Yet every breakup is different.

John Kim, The Angry Therapist, has guided thousands of patients through breakups of every brutal, freeing, heartbreaking kind—and he’s lived through failed relationships and a divorce of his own. Through his journey as a therapist and as a partner and father, John has identified eight types of unique breakups—and can help anyone get through them:

Each type elicits different responses and requires different approaches to healing and starting over. Utilizing his signature “self-help in a shot glass” approach, Break Up on Purpose is a three-part guide to healing from heartbreak. You’ll find stories from John and his patients documenting every type of breakups, discover honest reflections about what really went down, and engage in Break Through Work to master the steps necessary to truly heal and grow.

Break Up on Purpose shows us how a breakup can be the ultimate tool for personal growth, where we discover bodies rewired, trauma processed, false beliefs dissolved, and new standards set.

From The Angry Therapist blog founder and podcast host John Kim comes a guide for men looking to find more happiness in their relationships and more purpose in their life.

The Angry Therapist, who has helped thousands of men find more happiness in their relationships and more purpose in their lives, shares his insights with everyone in this powerful guide—covering essential topics, from vulnerability and posturing to workouts and women.

In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don’ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough and tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights, such as why:

We are not born men. We are born boys. The transition from misery to meaning is an internal process that requires work: reflection, pain, courage, and sometimes, a rebirth. Kim knows because he’s been there. The truth is, men weren’t meant to just pay bills and die. With this book as your guide, you will love hard, walk tall, and find a life filled with purpose and passion.

Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.

Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?

It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40. 

In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.

The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.

It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.